My knees tremble when I step inside the lobby of Excelsior, and I pull my beanie hat down further and glance around. The lobby is empty except for an elderly couple drinking coffee and a young woman feeding a baby.
Pressing a hand on my stomach to quell my nerves, I raise my hand to knock on the door of room 925. Nico would never betray me, but what if he found out about us?
Willing him to hurry up and open the goddamn door, I glance down the corridor. Finally the door opens, and his familiar face creases with a huge smile. Pulling me into the room, he wraps me in a giant bear hug, nearly squeezing the life from me in the process, but I hug him back just as fiercely. All the memories we’ve shared flood to the surface, and I cling to him, tears streaming down my face. I convinced myself I could hold it together, but it’s been over two years since we last saw each other, and seeing him now only makes his absence in my life all that much more acute.
“Hey, Lily Pad,” he says, his tone gentle as he brushes the moisture from my cheeks with his thumbs. “Don’t cry.”
“I-I miss you so much.”
“I know.” He hugs me again, this time even tighter. “I miss you too. It’s fucking awful back home without you.”
“I’m s-so s-sorry I left you.”
He pulls back and looks down at me, his dark brown eyes full of sorrow. “Don’t be sorry, Lily Pad. I’m glad you got out. I’m glad …” His Adam’s apple bobs harshly.
I wipe my cheeks and focus on the fact that he’s here right now. “Why are you even in New York?”
“Pop has asked me to oversee some business. I’ll be here once a month, which means I get to see you.”
“You will?” Equal parts of joy and anxiety wrestle in my stomach, and I swallow down a wave of nausea. “Do you think he knows?”
“He has no idea, I swear. If he did, he’d have a fucking army scouring this country looking for you.”
He’s got a point. “I wish I was strong like you.”
“Hey,” he admonishes me. “It’s different for me, and we both know it. That was no life for you. What he was expecting you to do.” His hands clench into fists. “I would never have fucking allowed it, sis. Never.”
My lips curve, not quite a smile but an acknowledgment.
He looks me over from head-to-toe one last time, like he’s assuring himself that I really am here, then holds up one finger and goes into the kitchen. When he comes back, he’s holding two mugs of coffee. He gestures toward the comfy sofas and we both take a seat. “So tell me all about your life here in New York.”
“It’s good. Great, actually. I’m still a messenger, but I’m working on a story for a magazine. They’re publishing it next month.”
“They are?” His face lights up with pride.
“Yeah.” I look down and pluck a stray piece of lint from the sofa cushion. “It’s something I’m really proud of. I’ll let you know when it’s out so you can read it.”
“I’m so fucking proud of you. You were always destined to be amazing.”
“Was not,” I say with a blush. He’s the amazing one. I’m just a coward who ran away from all my problems.
“Anything else going on with you? You meet a guy yet?”
Oh god. “Kind of.” I take a small sip of my coffee. “It’s still early.” I hate not telling him the whole truth, but how do I tell my twin brother that I’m dating three men at the same time? And that one of them is a guy our father once tried to kill.
I hate keeping all these secrets, but it’s the way I’ve lived my entire life. Always protecting somebody’s secret, and now I keep my own. Not only for me, but for Nico. If our father ever found out about what he did for me, he’d surely kill him.
“Is it serious?”
I press my lips together. “It might be.”
“Well, if you ever want to get married, have babies, anything like that, those papers you have will stand up to the highest level of scrutiny. I promise you that.”
“I know.” I nudge his arm with my elbow. “They got me through four years of college, so I figure they can get me a marriage license, should I ever need one.” He grins at me, and my face burns with embarrassment. “Not that I’m even thinking about that,” I insist. It isn’t like I can marry all three of them, even if I wanted to. Pretty sure that’s illegal in all fifty states. “I only say that because you brought it up.”
One corner of his mouth curves and he snorts. “Things must be a lot more serious than you let on.”
“Stop!” I sink back against the plush cushions and stare out the window, thinking about the guys and how I’ll have to make up a story about what I did this afternoon. It breaks my heart that when they ask me how my day was, I won’t be able to tell them about the best part of it—seeing my brother for the first time in two years. I can’t even tell them I have a brother. Swallowing down a lump of complex emotion, I redirect my attention to Nico. “Anyway, enough about my love life. How’s yours?”
He sighs heavily. “Complicated.”
“Can’t you get out too?”
He shakes his head. “Both of us disappearing would look way too suspicious, you know that. He’d come after you too.”
“I’d take that risk if it meant you could get out. We could go somewhere together.” A pang of guilt blindsides me as soon as the suggestion leaves my mouth. Although I’ve only known them for a few months, I can’t imagine leaving the guys. However, my heart breaks knowing that my wonderful brother can’t be with the person he loves just because he happens to love another man.
“One day Pop won’t be in charge anymore, and then maybe Dean and I can …” He shrugs.
“You think he’ll wait for you?”
“He’s not exactly waiting. He’s my second-in-command.” He twists his wedding band around his finger, seemingly without thought. “I spend more time with him than I do my wife.”
“How is Belinda?”
“She’s happy with the way things are. For now, anyway. I try to knock her up once a month, and she spends a small fortune on handbags and personal trainers in an attempt to make up for the fact that we can barely stand each other.”
“I hate that he forced you to marry her.”
“Belinda and I knew what we were signing up for. We’re both fine. We’ll figure it out in our own way. As soon as we have a kid, we can divorce and she can go live her life however the hell she wants to.”
“What if she has a girl?”
He drops a soft kiss on my forehead. “By the time she’s grown, things will be different.”
We chat a little more about trivial things and the series we’re both currently binging on Netflix before he tells me he has to leave for his meeting. “Stay as long as you want. Nobody except Dean uses this suite.”
“Where is Dean?”
“He’ll be at the meeting.”
“Give him my love, won’t you?”