Dear Strick,
I can’t believe I’ve gone this long without telling you about Tomcat! Tomcat is my cat. He used to live at the bookstore where I worked, but when the owner remarried, his new wife had a cat allergy, so I agreed to take Tomcat home with me. He’s the sweetest, largest, fluffiest, calico cat in the world (a picture is attached for proof).
I’m not an insomniac. I love sleep. Probably more than the average human. I’m awake right now because I had a bad date earlier tonight and I’m replaying it in my head because that’s what I do.
If you can believe it, I’m even worse on dates than I am during job interviews. I never know what to say, because everything about my life always sounds so uninteresting. It doesn’t help that I only go on dates with guys my sisters set me up with. If it’s a date with one of Violet’s friends, he’s either a model, aspiring actor/entertainer or works in fashion. He is chic and cool and intimidatingly attractive to the point where looking at him for too long feels overwhelming. He is also inevitably in love with Violet and has only agreed to go out with me to get into her good graces. (This happened all the time in high school, so I’m used to it.) If it’s a date with one of Iris’s friends, he’s someone she knows from business school. He will want to know my five-year plan and whether or not I’ve thought about setting up an LLC. He wears a suit, carries a smooth leather briefcase, and is at least fifteen minutes late because something important popped up at work right before he planned to leave the office. He expects me to be dynamic and driven and commanding like Iris and is disappointed when he finds out that I’m average.
Tonight’s date was with one of Violet’s guys, a model named Tony. He was very handsome and tall and charismatic, so I got overwhelmed looking at him and focused my attention on his collarbone while he spoke. He spent most of the night talking about himself and his recent modeling gigs. Then he mentioned Violet and kept talking about her, so I wasn’t afraid to finally ask if he had feelings for her. He tried to lie at first, but then he admitted that he’s in love with her and has been since they met. Violet is not the type to settle down. (I think that’s why guys like her so much. They think they’ll be the one to change her mind.) After telling Tony he’d have to give up on my sister, he started crying. (I should note that he’d had four Henny and Cokes at this point.) I comforted him as the entire restaurant stared. It was embarrassing, but I mostly felt bad for him.
So that’s why I’m awake right now. I’m thinking about the handsome, heartbroken model who cried on my shoulder. I always know how dates set up by my sisters will end, but I go anyway.
I’d apologize for oversharing, but I think we’re past that now.
Sincerely,
Lily
FROM: N.R. Strickland <[email protected]> TO: Lily G. <[email protected]>
DATE: July 21, 2:23am
SUBJECT: Re: You can call me Strick
Lily—
Wow. That’s . . . a lot. I feel sorry for him too, but I’m more concerned about you. Why do you go on these dates if you know they won’t lead to anything or that the night will end with some bloke crying on your shoulder about your sister? Are you okay? I hope you’re asleep by now, but I’m here to talk if you need to.
~Strick
P.S.—I should have surmised that Tomcat was indeed a cat. He’s nice-looking, I guess from an objective point of view. I have to be honest: I’m terrified of cats. When I was younger, my neighbor had evil cats who would scratch and bite at my ankles and pounce on me for no reason. I’m scarred for life. Can you ever really trust a cat? Tomcat is probably plotting your demise this very minute.
FROM: Lily G. <[email protected]>
TO: N.R. Strickland <[email protected]>
DATE: July 21, 2:32am
SUBJECT: Re: You can call me Strick
Dear Strick,
I know we’re friends now (or I at least assume we are?), but I will not take any cat slander in my inbox! Cats are beautiful, majestic, intelligent and unique creatures who get such a bad rep! Tomcat is the sweetest, cuddliest pet. He loves to plop himself down in a warm and willing lap. If you ever met him, he’d surely change your mind about cats being terrifying.
So back to my dating life. I know the obvious solution would be to stop allowing my sisters to set me up. But I guess I want to show them that I’m trying. Maybe it’s a baby-of-the-family complex. I had a slower start than my sisters. Out of the womb, they were impressive, brilliant people, and that wasn’t really the case for me. My family’s perpetual opinion is that I don’t know what I’m doing with my life and I need their help. So if going on a few bad dates is a way to get my sisters off my back, I’ll do it. It’s the same reason I go to career seminars every now and then, because my parents don’t think I’m capable of negotiating a promotion and that I might need to find a new line of work.
But enough about me. Where are you in the world right now?
XO,
Lily
FROM: N.R. Strickland <[email protected]>
TO: Lily G. <[email protected]>
DATE: July 21, 2:41am
SUBJECT: Re: You can call me Strick
Lily—
Ah, I get it. Family dynamics are tough. I know that better than anyone. Maybe one day, you’ll actually meet a decent person on one of those dates. Or maybe you’ll bump into your soulmate on the street. (Does that only happen in New York City movies and not in real life?) Either way, it seems to me that you do know what you’re doing with your life and that you have a clear goal to edit children’s books. I’ve never met your sisters, so I can’t make a comparison, but you sound impressive to me.
I promise I’ll stop with the cat slander. My apologies to Tomcat. I’m sure he’s nice and doesn’t spend most of his time lying in wait to attack you.
I’m still in Thailand. I loved it (and the elephants) so much, I extended my stay.
I hope you’re sleeping by now.
~Strick
P.S.—Yes, I think it’s safe to say we are (virtual) friends by now.
FROM: N.R. Strickland <[email protected]>
TO: Lily G. <[email protected]>
DATE: July 21, 3:52am
SUBJECT: Re: You can call me Strick
Lily—
I’m guessing you’re asleep since you haven’t replied, and you usually reply fairly quickly. I’m leaving for Vietnam tomorrow for a few weeks and I’m not sure what the connection situation will be like where I’m staying, so if you don’t hear from me for a bit, that’s why.
I’m looking at the picture of Tomcat again (trying to understand what you see in cats), and I just noticed a foot beside Tomcat in the photo. Is that your foot? If so, what kind of flower is that tattoo? I’m guessing it’s a lily?
~Strick
FROM: N.R. Strickland <[email protected]> TO: Lily G. <[email protected]>
DATE: July 21, 3:53am
SUBJECT: Re: You can call me Strick
Shit, now it probably seems like I have a weird foot fetish and that I’ve been staring at your foot for hours. I have NOT been doing that. It’s just that the tattoo caught my eye.