Okay, that condescending tone was not necessary, and she was over it.
“Rich enough to not have to do my blind date’s taxes,” she blurted out, regretting it immediately when, instead of laughing, his face got really, really red.
Needless to say, Hallie was unlocking her front door at nine thirty p.m. Which, to be fair, didn’t bother her all that much. She’d become quite the homebody since she and Ben had broken up, so Netflix and flannel pants were kind of her jam.
An hour later, when she was knuckle-deep in a bowl of popcorn, she got a message notification from the app. Please don’t let it be Kyle, she thought, imagining him reaching out to see if she’d reconsidered her aggressive opinions. She clicked into her messages and was happy to see it was Jack, not Kyle.
Jack: So . . . ? Did you find a love connection?
Hallie: Hardly. I found a man who got mad when I said I wouldn’t do his taxes.
Jack: Oof. Sorry, TB.
Hallie: Didn’t I tell you not to call me that?
Jack: Yeah, but I can’t help myself.
Hallie: So what about you? How was your date?
Jack: It wasn’t a date, it was an interview.
Hallie: She asked a lot of questions?
Jack: NOPE. I asked her questions—so what do you do, did you grow up here, etc. etc.—and she answered each question. Then . . . she didn’t say another word but just stared at me or her food.
Hallie: So it was like you were interviewing her and she was . . . ?
Jack: Absolutely uninterested in getting to know me.
Hallie: You didn’t say anything about getting your parts jiggled, did you?
Jack: It was jostled, and no. Maybe I should have.
Hallie: Did she seem like soul mate material if she HAD felt like engaging with your junk-jostled self?
Jack: Not at all.
Hallie took a sip of her soda and set it on the coffee table. I guess I’m making an assumption. Maybe you aren’t looking for a soul mate.
Jack: No, I am.
Hallie thought of his ex—what was her stupid name? Cam? Stran?
Van! Vanessa. Okay, so it wasn’t really a stupid name, but Hal still couldn’t get over the fact that he’d chosen her. To propose to. He clearly had I-can’t-be-single issues. She didn’t really know him, other than the fact that he was just as sarcastic as she was, but she still had to ask.
Hallie: Okay, don’t be pissed, because I’m not judging, but, like, you JUST broke up with your very serious girlfriend. How can you already be looking for a soul mate?
Jack: It’s a fair question, so I’ll allow it.
Hallie: Gee, thanks.
Jack: I know it sounds weird, but I think Vanessa and I were just going through the motions. Like, it felt serious on the outside, but it kind of wasn’t at all when it came down to what matters. Does that make any sense at all?
She was surprised that it sort of did.
Jack: We made all the big moves—living together, near-engagement—but we weren’t especially close in our day-to-day lives.
Hallie put her feet up on the coffee table and wondered if Ben would say that about their former relationship. She texted: Were you like roommates who slept together?
Sadly, that was something Ben had said to her during his break-up speech.
Jack: That is depressingly accurate.
Yes—totally depressing.
Jack: But regardless of the Vanessa mistake, I’m surprisingly serious about wanting to find someone.
Hallie realized as she read his text that her opinion on Jack had already changed. She still thought he was moving a little quickly, but the way he’d explained the situation with his ex made her think that perhaps he just knew himself well enough to know what he was looking for now.
She texted: For more than just a jostling?
Jack: For jostling ’n’ forever. I want to find the person who makes me complete.
Hallie: People really don’t use the country ’n’ enough anymore.
Jack: We should give it a renaissance.
Hallie: We really should. Hallie ’n’ Jack should bring it back.
Jack: What about your soul mate goals? If a Looking4TheReal genie appeared and granted your dating wish, what exactly would you want to find?
Hallie: Someone who likes me more than everyone else in the world.
Jack: Likes? Isn’t that bar a little low?
Hallie: Well, of course love, but I want to spend forever with my favorite human. The person who cracks me up and gets me and likes the way I think. Romance is nice, but I want to be with the one person where if something happens to me—funny, awful, wonderful—I’m dying to tell them.
Jack: It sounds like you want to marry your best friend.
Hallie: I literally do.
Jack: Good luck. That’s a tall order.
Hallie: No taller than your “you complete me” dream lady.
Jack: Somehow, mine seems more possible.
Hallie: Agree to disagree.
Jack: Care to make a wager?
Hallie set down the now-empty bowl of popcorn and reached for the throw on the couch’s arm. On what?
Jack: Who finds it first.
Hallie: Doesn’t that seem rather cavalier, to make a wager on something we’ve both agreed is important to us?
Jack: I don’t think so, because it’s not like a bet is going to make me behave differently to win. I still want the same thing. I just win a prize if I find it first.
Hallie: Ooh—I DO like prizes.
Jack: Right? I already hate this app and blind dates and I really don’t feel like continuing. But if there’s a fun incentive, and I’m in it with someone else, it might not feel like an endless, depressing chore.
Well, Hallie absolutely understood that. She was already tired of dating, and she’d only been on one date so far. Hallie: It has to be something really good, then.
Jack: Duh.
Hallie started thinking about what she wanted that he might be able to provide for her. Well, what services can you offer?
Jack: (Ahem—elevator) What exactly do you mean?
Hallie rolled her eyes but laughed. He had a way of teasing her about the hotel night that was funny but didn’t feel like he was trying to get her back into bed.
Hallie: Example: I’m a tax accountant. I can do your taxes if I lose. And my sister is engaged to a guy who owns a Toyota dealership, so if you’re looking for a new Corolla, I can get you the friends and family price. What can you do for me?
Jack: Please shoot me in the face if I’m ever looking for a Corolla, and taxes are for suckers. Regarding what I can provide, I’m a landscape architect, so I can design a backyard oasis that will make you never want to leave the house.
Hallie: Sounds wonderful, but I live in an apartment.
Jack: I have a Parisian honeymoon that I’ve already paid for.
Hallie could see by the bubbles that he was still typing, but she didn’t care.
Hallie: That’s it. I want it. I get Paris if I win.
Man, she hadn’t been on a vacation since she lived at home and her family went on a trip to Milwaukee. Nothing in the world sounded better to her than traveling abroad.