He occupied most of the couch, and the blanket that had once covered him was bunched up at his waist. The urge to go to him doubled. The need to wrap myself around him and cover us both. It wasn’t a sexual thing, even though I knew the moment I touched him, my blood would once again swirl with need. No, this was something else.
I walked to the couch. There was barely any space by his side, but I didn’t care. I felt vulnerable, as if I’d been torn inside out, my rawest parts on display. I set a knee by his hip, and slowly curled beside him.
A grunt left his throat, and in a swift, smooth motion, his arms were around me and he was on his side. He looked down, eyes half-open, and pulled me into his chest.
“Hi,” I whispered.
He hummed, and I felt the sound against my belly and breasts. “Can’t sleep?”
I gave him a small shake of the head. Without a word, I moved my hands, reaching the hem of his sleeping shirt. Not breaking eye contact, I slipped my fingers under it. I set my palms against his smooth and hard skin, letting the warmth travel up my arms and down my spine.
Cameron let out a shaky exhale. “Love,” he said, and I knew it was a warning.
“I just need to touch you,” I confessed, moving my hands up, pressing the tips of my fingers into his skin. “I need to feel you close.” His eyes darkened, and his mouth pressed into a line. He was looking at me so seriously. So stern. As if my plea was a life-changing event. “I want you as close as anyone has ever been.”
His arms tightened around me, and he pulled me close, much closer, lodging me into his body and trapping me there. I could feel his heart, pounding in his chest. “Better?”
I nodded and closed my eyes, reveling in the feeling. “Can you touch me, too?”
A growl fell out of his lips, and I knew it was costing him part of his restraint, but he complied. Of course he did. Cameron pulled the blanket over us, and only then, moved his hands beneath the only thing I wore over my underwear—one of his shirts—and he wrinkled it up with his wrist as his palms traveled up my back.
I shifted against him, feeling him growing hard against my belly. A shallow breath left my parted lips. And before I could move again, Cameron stilled my body against his.
“Cameron?” I whispered. “Can I ask you something?”
“Don’t ask me to fuck you, love,” he said, his voice nothing more than a rasp. “Because I will.”
A breathy laugh fell off my lips. “I would love nothing more,” I told him, meaning every word. And he must have been shocked by my admission because his body froze beneath mine. Just for a second. Then, it resumed with a shake, and I could feel his blood pulsing under my touch, his need growing with mine. “But I know it wouldn’t be fair with my mother across that wall. I know…”
My throat worked with the unfinished thought.
But I knew—felt, deep inside of me, based on tonight, and based on an instinctive and intrinsic part of myself that only answered to him—that sex with Cameron wouldn’t be just a quick and silent affair. It wouldn’t be something I’d like to do with my mother on the other side of the wall.
“Hmm,” I murmured. “On a second thought, maybe we should put my mother in Sweet Heaven Cottage.”
“It’s not a cottage,” he grunted quickly. I frowned but he rearranged me, thrusting one of his knees between mine and distracting me. “And that we you said like nothing?” A pause. “It all but killed me. So ask me your question.”
“Do you think I’m a little like her?” A shallow breath left my lips, and Cameron waited, as if he knew that wasn’t what I actually wanted to ask. “Or do I fade away beside her? Am I not a little black-and-white and cold and dull?”
We’d always been so different, she and I, and sometimes… Sometimes I’d wondered if I couldn’t be a little more like her. Now, I also wondered if my father had seen me before that video at all. If the world had. If Cameron really did.
He nudged his forehead against mine until I looked at him. His eyes were so bright, so open and full of raw honesty, that it made my pulse waver. “You are all I can see,” he told me, his words falling right on my lips. “Even when I close my eyes, you’re all I see.”
It was my turn to hum against his skin, just so I would tame the uproar in my rib cage. He always did that. Always gave me these perfect answers I almost couldn’t believe. “Cameron?”
“Yes, love?”
My question was nothing but a whisper. “Tell me a secret. Something no one knows.”
If he was surprised by my words, he didn’t say or do anything to show me. All he did was bring one of his hands higher, until it rested against the back of my neck. “I was so scared,” he said, and I knew what he was talking about. He gently brought my head against his chest, offering himself as a pillow. Asking me for a comfort I’d never deny. “I’m still terrified.” I counted his heartbeats—one, two, three, five, ten—under my cheek, wishing I could stay there forever. Every night. Until the end of time. “I never dated Jasmine Hill. That was all Liam, my agent. He set me up, and I sat through dinner not to be rude. The media blew it out of proportion, but I haven’t been with anyone since coming to the US.”
We remained in silence for another moment, and I was so busy restraining myself after his last confession that I almost missed his next words.
“The lodge is mine now,” he said, and I stilled. “It wasn’t easy, but I closed on the purchase of Lazy Elk this morning.”
My heart tripped. Then started pounding at double, triple, quadruple pace.
“What?” I whispered. But what I wanted to ask was why?
Cameron seemed to understand. “I’m not shy when I want something. And I’m not shy with my money, either. I worked hard for it.” His voice turned lighter. Confident. Cocky in a way only Cameron made work. “That cottage is coming down. I’ll build you something else.”
I… wanted to let him. I wanted the implications of all of that, too. They made me happy. The happiest I’d been in a long time. And a handful of other emotions I didn’t think I’d be able to handle if I wasn’t in his arms. “That’s more than one secret,” I told him. “And I only asked for one.”
Time ticked by without a word being said, and I was so warm, so comfortable, so safe, tucked against Cameron’s body, that I started tipping into darkness. Half here and half not. So, when he spoke again, I brought his words with me. Into my dreams. “I’ll always give you more than what you ask for, love. Even when you don’t know what you want.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Cameron
I looked at Tony from the sidelines.
He stood on the midfield line, surrounded by an enthralled group of nine-year-olds blinking at him like he’d hung both the moon and the stars in the sky.
I smirked. He was a good young man, and you could tell he’d loved the game for a long time. It had taken him some time to get used to the looks the kids gave him—starry except for Juniper, who was stern and cautious—but he’d managed to channel that attention into work.
The first half of today’s practice had been intense. We’d moved past simple exercises like “protect the cone” to more elaborate drills that require things like quality passes. It hadn’t been easy, but the girls’ enthusiasm had been unmatched. Even Juniper, who I’d taken aside and personally worked with on her keeper’s skills, had been happy to move from basic footwork and diving to a little fun sliding. We’d both gotten dirty but it’d been worth it. She’d been fantastic at it.
I could think of a certain manager who’d been very happy about the girls’ evolution. I eyed what had been nothing but a shed weeks ago, wondering what the woman inside was doing. Was she warm enough in there? October was growing chillier by the day, and even though I’d gotten one of those electric heaters from Moe’s, it still was cold as hell outside. Or like Moe had said, Asscrack cold.
Pulling my phone out of the pocket of the hoodie I’d grabbed today, I checked the screen. I might still catch Liam if I rang him now. After that, I’d go check on Adalyn.
I tapped on his name and brought the device to my ear.
“Hell must have broken loose if Cameron Caldani himself is calling me.”