My brother is a lot of things. Eloquent is not one of them.
“Maybe because I did what felt right to me. I married him for me. It had nothing to do with any of you.” Exasperation mixes with anger and creates a dangerous cocktail in my blood. “You’re all so into each other’s business, but you’ve never given me that. None of you. You want to control my life. All of you do. But it doesn’t go both ways for me the same way it does for the rest of you. I’m not an equal in your eyes. Not for any of you.”
When he doesn’t say anything, I wait and watch the emotions play out on his face.
He knows I’m right.
“Jace . . . I’ve been through hell, and I’ve come out on the other side a pretty well-adjusted woman. But you know what I’ve spent my life doing?”
He doesn’t say anything, so I push harder. “Do ya? No . . . No guesses?”
He shakes his head, and I laugh a soundless laugh. “Funny. Because it revolves around all of you. I did what you wanted. What all of you wanted. Gonna have to train harder to go to the Olympics, Lindy. Oh, Lindy. You’ve got to get a degree. You can balance it. Madeline Kingston. You’ve got a seat on the King Corp. board. You’ve got to be at the board meetings. Oh, and don’t miss any Kings or Revolution home games. You don’t need a life. Family first. Does any of that sound familiar? Because it’s the stuff I’ve heard from all of you my whole life. It’s like you all thought you needed to fill in for—”
“Dad,” he finishes my sentence for me.
“I never knew him, Jace. He doesn’t mean anything to me. He’s the man who cheated on my mother and died doing it. I didn’t need him.”
“He wasn’t a bad man, Madeline. He was just bad at love. At least, romantic love. He was great at loving his kids, and even before you were born, he loved you. He was so excited when your mom announced she was pregnant,” Jace tells me almost wistfully. “I wish you had a chance to have him in your life. He would have done a better job than we did.”
My heart stutters as emotion swells in my throat. “But that’s the thing, Jace. I didn’t need him because I had all of you. I never felt like I was missing anything. I didn’t hate that you all thought you knew better than me. Not when I was a kid. And I’m not stupid enough at twenty-three to think I’ve got everything figured out. But I’m also competent enough to know what I want and what’s worth fighting for. I’m lucky enough to be loved and smart enough to hold on with both hands and fight for it. So I’m going to need you to back off or get out. Those are your options.”
Holy shit.
I think that was all a lie. Because this incredibly strong woman I’m projecting right now is shaking like a leaf on the inside, wondering where in the hell I ever got the courage to say all that.
Jace throws his arms around me in a hug that feels like it might squeeze the life out of me. “When did you grow up, baby sister?”
I close my eyes and fight back the tears I know are right there, burning behind my lids. “Apparently, when you weren’t looking, big brother.”
He runs his hand over my head and squeezes tighter. “Did I ever tell you that night, after the cops left and we were all at Hudson and Maddie’s house . . . you and me and Easton were in the family room, while your mom was in the kitchen with the others. The doctor had given you a sedative, and you fell asleep on the couch. Your head was leaning against Easton’s chest. And I swear, I don’t think he even took a deep breath because he didn’t want to wake you up. We were down there for fucking hours, and he wouldn’t let anybody move you. When Ashlyn wanted to put you to bed, I stood up to pick you up, but he wouldn’t let you go and carried you to one of the bedrooms himself. He was nineteen, Lindy, and I think we all knew then that nothing would ever be the same between you two.”
I step back so I can see his face, so hurt and confused. “Then why? Why is everyone reacting like this?”
“It’s not fair, but maybe we associate Easton with the night we almost lost you. You’ve got to understand you weren’t the only one traumatized that night. With our family, it’s always been us against the world, and we almost lost you. You want us to cut you some slack, but you’re going to have to do the same. Maybe we all held on too tight after that, but Lindy . . . you’re ours to protect. We circled around you.”
A fist pounds against the door, followed by a distinctly pissed-off male voice. “Let’s go, Kingston. You’re not on that bus in five, it’s leaving without you.”
“Fuck off, Smitty. I’ll be there,” Jace calls back, then wipes the tears from my cheeks. “Maybe we held on too tight.”
“I’ve got to be able to breathe, Jace. I deserve to be treated as an equal. I earned that.” My heart tightens in my chest, unable to believe I’m having this conversation here. Now. In a smelly locker room.
“You have. And I’m sorry. I guess I forgot for a few minutes how much he’s always cared for you.”
“He loves me, Jace.” My voice shakes, but I will not break.
“Yeah, I know. He told me earlier. I guess . . . Well, I guess I just forgot that for a minute.”
“Try to remember, big brother. Because this man who you all want to make out to be a bad guy . . . he’s already got abandonment issues, whether you realize that or not. You of all people should get that. Both of you had moms die when you were young. Only, unlike you, he never had a dad to lean on. He had Kenzie and eventually Jules and Becks. And he thought he had all of you, but he was shown just how wrong that was as soon as he got traded, came home, and all of you decided he wasn’t worthy of your family.”
“Madeline.” Jace looks horrified.
Good. He should be.
“That’s not . . .” He trails off, and there’s another bang on the door.
“Time’s up, Kingston.”
I wrap an arm around my brother. “I’ve still got to battle it out with the rest of them, but it would be really nice to have an ally. And maybe while you’re at it, give my husband the apology you owe him.”
“I’ll see what I can do,” he tells me as he grabs the doorknob.
“Jace,” I stop him. “Do better.”
Kenzie
I’m kinda glad dinosaurs are extinct because I’m pretty sure I’d try to ride one after a few too many cocktails.
Brynlee
Uhhh. Did Everly take Kenzie’s phone?
Kenzie
Nope. It’s me. I’m just drunk.
Everly
I don’t wanna ride dinosaurs when I’m drunk, ladies. I have much better things to ride. You all should try it.
Gracie
Pretty sure Lindy’s the only one who hasn’t tried IT, yet.
Lindy
Well . . .
Everly
Holy hell, Hayes. Did you climb that tree?
Kenzie
I didn’t climb any trees.
Everly
Not you Hayes. Lindy Hayes. Like Mrs. Hayes. The one who just told us she banged your brother.
Kenzie
When did she say that?
Brynlee
How drunk are you?
Gracie
Better question – where are you and who are you with?
Everly