“It was Charlie, wasn’t it? That fucking pervert. He was jealous.”
“You don’t know what you’re saying. They wouldn’t ask him, and he would never agree.”
“Bullshit. Them. They. These shadowy people don’t exist. They’re ghosts you make up to cover your own ass. This conspiracy has only ever been Eddie, and you, and Charlie, and her. Anyone else is hired help.”
“That’s just not true. If it was, would I have warned you? I told you what would happen. I tried to head it off. But you wouldn’t listen. Instead, you did the worst thing possible. You decided to run. You think they weren’t gonna find out?”
The vase slid from her hand, bouncing on the rug.
“No.”
“Yes. The guy you went to, to get your passports done? He narced on you.”
She sat down on the nearest chair and started to cry, struggling to get words out.
“How … do you know that … if you’re not involved?”
“They told me afterwards. When I heard what happened to Matthew, well, to put it mildly, I was not happy. So they explained to me why they felt that step was necessary. That doesn’t mean I was on board with it, even if I could see where they were coming from. I wasn’t, and I definitely didn’t know in advance. Swear to God.”
“I don’t believe you, Ray.”
He shook his head sadly. “That hurts my feelings, Kathy.”
“Please, just go. Leave me alone.”
“I can’t do that. Look, I know you’re angry. It’s natural. But we’re at a dangerous moment, and there are things you should know for your own safety. The feds are circling the case to see if someone killed Matthew to retaliate against you. An attack on a judge is a federal case, and if they grab jurisdiction, we’re screwed. Not just me. You too. And Charlie. Doug Kessler. A few other people who look to me for protection. We have to head it off. If the feds interview you, I need to know I can count on you.”
“Count on me how?”
“Steer them to thinking this was a personal dispute. Someone with a grudge against Matthew, that type of thing. If we can get jurisdiction locally, then Charlie takes the lead on the investigation, and it all goes away.”
She stared at him in shock. That anybody would be so callously pragmatic about her husband’s murder was terrible to her. But the man whom she’d thought of as a father? She put her hand to her mouth and swallowed to beat back the bile that was rising. If Ray saw her throw up, he might start to wonder.
“This isn’t just business, you know. I’m thinking of how to keep you safe. Are we on the same page?” Ray said.
Collecting herself, she took her phone from her jacket pocket.
“Leave now, or I’m calling the feds,” she said, her voice shaking.
“Kathy, listen to me. There’s no way out. If you disappear, they’ll never stop looking. And when they find you, they won’t play nice.”
“By they, you mean you.”
He sighed. “I don’t know how to get through to you. If this was just me, we’d be having a very different conversation. If you won’t listen, the next funeral will be yours. I couldn’t stand that. And neither could your poor mother.”
“Get out. And never contact me again.”
32
The day had been raw and ugly, with a mix of rain and snow. As the cab pulled up to the apartment building that night, it started to sleet, ice crystals pinging on the windshield. Kathryn reached into her wallet for some bills. Her gaze wandered as the driver counted the money.
Someone was standing in the shadows near the front door to the building.
“What’s that person doing, standing there in this weather?” she said, her throat going dry.
The driver ignored her.
“Excuse me, driver? Go around the block.”
“Fine, but I have to drop the meter again.”
The sleet was blowing sideways in the wind. The shadow moved into the halo of the streetlamp.
It was Sylvia.
“Never mind,” she said.
The wind hit her full force as she got out and hurried up the path to the front door. She took out her key, ignoring her mother hovering beside her.
“Kathy, please,” Sylvia said, her voice quavering. “I’ve been out in the freezing cold for half an hour waiting for you to come home.”
“You know I won’t talk to you. Go away and leave me alone.”
“Five minutes. That’s all I ask, so I can understand why you cut me from your life.”
A savage gust of wind hit, and her mother shriveled into her coat, her eyes watering from the cold.
“I shouldn’t’ve let that cab go. You can wait inside while you call another,” Kathryn said.
Her mother followed her into the vestibule, carrying a shopping bag. Out of the wind, it was quiet and overheated, smelling of dust. Once upon a time, the building had been fashionable, but it had fallen on hard times. There was a row of dented metal mailboxes. Kathryn didn’t receive mail there, though that precaution was mostly for show. She figured they could find her easily enough simply by following her from the courthouse. The idea was to lull them into a false sense of security. As long as she didn’t run, they would have no reason to hurt her. Which meant they wouldn’t hurt the baby. They knew where she lived. At regular intervals, she felt that prickling on the back of her neck that meant someone was watching.
Which made her wonder—
“How did you find me?” she asked, eyes narrowing.
“Oh, no. I haven’t spoken to Ray since Matthew died, if that’s what you’re suggesting. I quit the day after the funeral, didn’t even give notice. I’m temping, living on a pittance so I can respect your wishes and have no contact with that man. I know you’re hurting, Kathy. But I can’t understand you taking this out on me.”
Tears rolled down Sylvia’s papery cheeks.
“Answer my question. How did you find me? And I want the truth.”
“It was that girl in your chambers. The case manager, Allison. She took pity on an old lady because it’s Christmas. I’m begging you, don’t fire her over it. Can I come in? Please? I brought you something. A gift. Some food.”
She lifted the shopping bag. A wrapped present was visible inside. Kathryn was about to say no when a wave of dizziness hit, so powerful that she had to grab the wall for support. The room was spinning. She broke into a sweat.
“Are you okay? Here, let me help,” Sylvia said, sliding her arm around Kathryn’s waist.
Her mother’s voice, the scent of her perfume, and the peppermint Life Savers she chewed were all so familiar. Suddenly, she was glad for her presence. She handed her the keys, and together they lurched up the stairs to the second floor.
Kathryn was living temporarily in a one-bedroom apartment at the end of a long hallway. After Matthew’s death, she couldn’t bring herself to go back inside that house in Wellesley where they’d been so happy. Besides, it looked better to move somewhere anonymous. It played into their expectations for how a hysterical woman should behave. Hide, but poorly, in plain sight. Make them think she’d broken off contact but wasn’t planning to run. There was just one flaw in her plan. She was starting to show. She had to get away before they found out about Ollie. But she hadn’t figured out how to do that, not with them watching her.
Sylvia let them into the apartment. Inside, harsh lighting bounced off bare white walls, hurting her eyes. She collapsed onto the hard sofa.
“Let me help you off with your coat,” Sylvia said.
Kathryn was sweating, but she drew back. She barely showed, but Sylvia would notice the difference right away. That was why she’d cut her mother from her life. She didn’t trust her not to let her secret slip to Ray.
Lucy came sauntering out from the bedroom. She stopped, contemplating Sylvia.
“Oh, is that the kitty Matthew got you? She’s so big now.”
She took a step toward Lucy, who bounded back to the bedroom.
“I remember she was skittish with strangers. Or else she just doesn’t like me,” Sylvia said, laughing nervously.