I know he can kill.
But still I dream of leaving, having a real bed, shoes always to wear. But I have no money. No identification. He’s been good to provide for me.
Family is forever. We never betray the family.
That is the worst sin of all.
So instead I rolled down the windows in the truck and carefully drove home. I turned on the radio but didn’t dare adjust the volume or change the station. He would know.
It had been one of the best days ever.
A few days later my world changed.
Liam said it was time to return the Ford. I would drive it and he would follow in the truck. But when I got in the Ford, I noticed it was almost out of gas. He was angry about that, yelling that he didn’t want to make an extra stop. I’m not sure how that was my fault. He told me to stop at a station and gave me ten dollars to pay for the gas, saying it would be enough for the distance I was driving.
We left, and I pulled into the station. He parked the truck at the edge of the station’s lot, waiting and watching me. The attendant told me to pay inside since I had cash. I froze. I’d rarely been inside a store on my own. I got out of the Ford and caught Liam’s gaze across the lot. I held up the ten-dollar bill, pointing at the store. I could tell he was annoyed, but he waved me on.
Inside I was accosted by bright colors and saw candy and chips I’ve never tried. I stared for a few moments, feeling overwhelmed, and then I moved to wait behind three other people to pay. I eyed the newspapers and magazines, reading every headline as quickly as possible. Stories were more appealing to me than any candy. A local newspaper headline about a bear attack caught my attention, and I took the paper out of the rack to read the article. I flipped the pages to continue the story and found a new article with a photo.
I read the caption and my world stopped.
I can’t believe this.
“Hey! You paying or what?” The clerk behind the counter stared at me.
The waiting customers had gone. I was the only one left.
I couldn’t make myself put the paper back in the rack, and my fingers crinkled its edges. I needed to keep it. I walked to the counter and gave him the ten. “Pump six, but I want this paper too, but all I’ve got is the ten.”
“No problem.” He punched some buttons, and the newspaper was mine. “Want a receipt?”
“No.” I didn’t want Liam to find evidence that I had used gas money for something else.
I was elated and terrified at the same time, my heart pounding out of my chest. I paused inside to read the article accompanying the photo. My vision tunneled as I read.
This can’t be right.
I’d been inside the store too long. I tossed most of the newspaper, folded the rest as flat as possible, and tucked it in the waistband of my jeans, pulling my shirt over it. It wasn’t perfect, but I couldn’t leave it behind.
I walked back to the Ford, noting Liam still watched me from the truck. The attendant placed the gas handle back on the pump.
“Not gonna get far on that much gas,” he said.
“It’s okay.”
Once inside the Ford, I laid the newspaper next to me and pulled out of the station. I followed the truck as he drove out of town, and I studied the picture at every traffic light.
How is this possible?
My mind spun with possibilities the entire drive. Ahead Liam suddenly pulled off the road onto a shoulder and waved me to drive up beside him. I rolled down my window, and Liam pointed at a big clump of brush. “Go park it behind that brush. Make it so it’s hard to see from the road.”
He wants the SUV hidden.
I knew better than to ask why.
It was so hard, but I left the newspaper in the door of the Ford. I had stared at it, committing the photo to memory, and then started to panic as I thought about what he’d do if he discovered I’d bought a newspaper. He’d put me in the box for days and days.
Liam was chipper as we drove back, whistling and in a good mood. But my mood was black.
He’s a liar.
He and Jerry had lied to me for years. Sweat beaded on my temples and dripped down my neck. I bit my tongue to keep my accusations to myself, but inside I wanted to explode.
Don’t ask questions. He’ll get angry.
But I couldn’t stop myself. “You said my family moved to Texas, right?”
“That doesn’t matter. Let it go. I’m your family now. This is how it works. Jerry trained me and I helped train you. It’s time for that to continue and expand.”
“Expand?” Dread crawled up my spine.
“Yes.” He chuckled, his gaze still forward. “Three is a good number. It was three of us for a long time and I think it should be again. I’ve got a good plan, and I’m pretty proud of it. Better than Jerry could ever do.”
If I asked about the plan, he would say it was none of my business. Instead, I fed his ego. “You outsmarted Jerry?”
“Damn right.”
I wanted to smack the smug grin off his face.
“Jerry wasn’t as smart as he thought. The police found him.” Liam grinned. “He thinks he got caught because our neighbor snooped, but that wasn’t it.”
I knew Jerry had gone to prison for killing three women.
“It was time for Jerry to move on.” Liam scowled. “I’d had enough and told the neighbor his missing chain saw might be in Jerry’s barn. I hinted that Jerry had stolen a few things. The neighbor went snooping and then decided to see if the nice car in the barn had been stolen too. It belonged to one of those women.”
“Jerry didn’t know you did it?”
“Nope.” A frown crossed his face. “Although I felt a little bad when I saw how well he protected me from prison. He’ll never speak about what we did all the way to his grave.” He looked at me until I met his gaze. “That’s how it works. You protect me, and I’ll protect you.”
He’s talking about the bodies we buried.
“I won’t tell anyone.”
“Exactly. Jerry was very strict about that. Your family always comes first. No matter what.”
Yet he betrayed Jerry.
He must have done something horrible together with Jerry.
Instantly I knew that Liam had helped kill the first three women.
At the very least, Jerry had made Liam an accessory as Liam had done to me.
I rubbed my face with one hand, overwhelmed. Each generation in this family was involved in murder. Jerry, Liam, and me.
And now he wanted to bring in another person.
“Anyway, it’s important to leave a legacy behind.”
A legacy of murder?
“And to have someone to pass on our values and knowledge.”
Knowledge? Values?
I’ve gained most of my knowledge from sneaking his library books. And I don’t think punishing someone by putting them in a box reflects good values.
“People who go against the family will pay.”
I didn’t like his voice’s sudden change in tone, and I glanced at him as a shadow crossed his face. I suspected someone had paid with their life for their betrayal.
“A little insurance helps remind everyone that family comes first. I know you’ll toe the line because if you don’t, our new third might get hurt.”
I stared at him, unable to speak, confused about who this new person was.
“This one will be the perfect age to train.”
Looking back, I realized that was exactly what Liam and Jerry did to me. Trained me.
With years of emotional and physical abuse, they trained me to be so docile and frightened that I did everything they said. They needed full control. That power was what drove them.
How did I not question that before?
It had to be the pills. They’d kept me numb, emotionless. Helpless. I don’t know what kind he fed me for years, but now that I no longer take them, my mind feels unnaturally clear and focused. Anger boils inside me. I was a zombie before. Very pliable. Obedient. Spineless.
How dare they do that to me?
But now I see it perfectly; I’m aware.
I won’t let Liam hurt another child. Not like he did to me and the other boy.
The one we buried.
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