My skin feels a little clammy, like I’m about to break out in a sweat, and I chide myself quietly for being so worked up about something so small. Surely it’s fine that I’m coming to see him. There’s nothing weird about that.
I knock lightly at his office door, hearing his quiet answer only a second after. I turn the knob to crack the door and peek around it, finding Noah bent over his desk and glaring at his laptop.
“Hey,” I greet tentatively. “You busy?”
His expression changes when he looks up at me, his frown turning up to more of a neutral shape and the wrinkle at his brow softening.
“Hey. I’m not busy.”
I grin, nodding toward the screen that seems to be currently offending him as I step inside of his office and close the door behind me. “Could have fooled me.”
“Documenting some procedure notes. I let myself get behind.”
I make a face. “Yikes.”
“Yeah. I’ll be working late, but I should be able to get caught up tonight, at least.”
“There goes our romantic dinner,” I tease.
His eyebrows shoot up. “Did you want to get dinner?”
Oh, Jesus. I forgot who I’m talking to. I make a mental note not to make any more dumb jokes that insinuate there’s something romantic between us.
“No, no. Sorry, I was just being funny.”
“Oh.”
Now he looks mildly disappointed. What the hell?
Things feel awkward all of a sudden, and I can’t wrestle down why. Or rather, I can, I’m just not sure if I should address the fact that he was inside me less than twenty-four hours ago or if we should just keep that sort of talk behind closed doors. I suppose it depends on whether or not I want to do it again. More importantly . . . if he does.
Jesus, I feel flushed just thinking about this. What happened to not letting things get complicated?
“So our little hallway incident apparently sparked some new gossip.”
“Oh.” He looks down at his desk. “Sorry about that.”
“No, that’s what we want, right?”
“Right. Of course.”
I shuffle my weight from one foot to the other, telling myself that I should probably leave it alone but still feeling a little addled by all the questions I’ve rustled up in my head. I clear my throat as I go for casual, turning to make it seem as if I’m very interested in Noah’s diploma hanging on the wall.
“Are you okay?”
I hear his chair creak as he most likely turns it in my direction. “What do you mean?”
“I don’t know.” I shrug nonchalantly. “You just seemed like something was bothering you earlier.”
“Ah. Well.” I hear him blow out a rush of air. “Had a run-in with Dennis.”
“The bitter bitch again?”
I catch Noah’s same barely-there grin when I turn my head just enough to look at him from the corner of my eye. “Yes.”
“What did he say?”
“He’s apparently decided to be less overt with his distaste for me. Evidently, now he’s comfortable making dick remarks in front of mutual patients.”
I turn to face him, my mouth falling open. “He didn’t.”
“I doubt the patient picked up on what was going on, but I sure as hell did.”
“Do you want me to kick his ass?”
Noah makes a face. “What?”
“I’m just saying. I feel like I could pull an ‘enraged mate’ card and get away with it.”
His smile widens then, and my stomach does something funny, like a swooping motion.
“It’s fine,” he assures me. “I can handle him.”
“I was just surprised that you came down to my floor again.”
“I . . .” He sighs, scratching the back of his neck. “I guess I can’t lie and say I haven’t been a little off today.”
“Off?”
He gestures between us. “About you and me. I guess I expected . . .” He breathes in just to blow it out. “I guess I needed to make sure we were okay.”
“I told you,” I remind him. “I’m not going to freak out on you. This can be whatever we want it to be.”
“I know,” he says. “I know you did. I just . . . wanted to be sure.”
So, was his entire reason for coming down to see me really only because he was worried I was off somewhere pining for him? What was that kiss about then? It makes my head hurt thinking about it, but I can’t bring myself to say anything.
“I hope I didn’t cause any problems with your friend,” Noah adds, pulling me from my thoughts.
My brow furrows. “My friend?”
“Liam,” he clarifies.
“Oh.” I’m searching his face for any signs of jealousy or alpha nonsense—but his expression remains frustratingly blank. “No, no. He’s really just a friend.”
Or at least, that’s what I thought before today.
“Okay,” Noah says evenly. “I was afraid I had overstepped with . . . you know.”
Ah. So he had been second-guessing it.
“You mean making out in the hallway?”
He flinches. “More or less.”
“You were just playing the part,” I say, mirroring what he texted me earlier.
“Right,” he answers immediately.
“It’s not like you were being jealous or something,” I laugh, passing it off as a joke even though part of me is perking up for his answer. “Right?”
It takes him a second to answer, but only a second. “Of course not.”
I consider it, reasoning that regardless of his reasons—I definitely didn’t hate him kissing me in the hallway.
“I think maybe we’re both probably walking on eggshells,” I admit. “I can tell you’re still worrying about last night changing things, but I think we got through it fine. I mean, you’re not mauling my male coworkers, and I’m not begging you to bite me, so all in all, I’d say it was a successful experiment.”
“I guess that’s . . . true.”
“And we both enjoyed it . . . right?”
I don’t miss the way his throat bobs with a swallow, nor do I miss the way his jaw tenses as if remembering. “I did.”
Okay. So we can work with this. Maybe it wouldn’t be so awkward if we laid out some ground rules to begin with.
“You know,” I start, moving away from where I’m standing to circle his desk, “there’s nothing that says we can’t help each other and also, you know, help each other.”
Noah looks up at me as I approach. “How do you mean?”
“I don’t think it will be the end of the world if we get a little enjoyment out of this relationship—even if it is fake.”
“Enjoyment?”
“I just mean . . . we don’t have to think so much about our little addendum.”
“We don’t,” he parrots, eyes on my mouth.
I press my hands on either side of his desk chair. “We both know what this is, and there’s no risk since we aren’t looking for anything to come out of it.”
“Right,” he murmurs. “Since I’m leaving.”
For some reason the reminder of the expiration date of our little arrangement gives me pause, but only for like a second. I remind myself that’s the best part of the whole thing.
“Exactly,” I tell him. I curl my body to bring my mouth inches from his, reaching to cup his jaw. “So let’s enjoy it until then. No more worrying about how I’m doing, okay?”
“If that’s what you want,” he breathes.