I mean, when will we ever get a chance like this again? If biology is going to dictate how compatible we might be in bed together, why not enjoy the benefits? We’re medical professionals, after all. It can be like . . . an experiment of sorts. Plus, it’s not like I’ve had a lot of luck in the phallic department, since every date I’ve been on in months has been an utter disaster.
He’s still quiet when we pull up to my apartment building, and I linger in the passenger seat for a second too long as I try to think of what I should do here. I’ve never had to convince anyone to sleep with me before, and I’m not even sure if I should. Is this somehow beneath me? Or am I more empowered by trying to take the bull by the horns, as it were. Honestly, I’m too horny to care.
“Do you want to come up for a drink?”
There. Simple. Easy. Only slightly suggestive.
Noah frowns. It really is a sexy frown, I’ve decided. “Are you asking me for a drink, or something else?”
“Both? Maybe?”
“Mackenzie . . .” He pulls his hands from the steering wheel to pinch the bridge of his nose. “I’m really not sure that’s a good idea.”
“Why not?”
“Because we have an arrangement, and sex was not part of the deal. It could make things very complicated.”
“Think of it as a perk.” I snap my fingers. “Oh! An addendum! Contracts have those all the time.”
“I’m not sure any contract has ever had a sex addendum.”
“Ours could,” I venture.
He looks at me with an odd expression then, his brow furrowing. “I’m still confused as to why you would want to.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, well. You’re . . . And I’m . . .” He sighs. “I just feel like you could easily find another partner who would be a lot less . . .” He waves his hand as if searching for a word, huffing out a breath when he decides on, “Me.”
“What’s wrong with you? You’re tall and pretty—” Noah looks stunned by this. “When you’re not scowling, that is. Or, actually, sometimes when you are? It’s kind of growing on me. Plus, you’re built like a brick shithouse. I don’t really see any downsides for me.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“Also, you’re the first alpha I’ve met. Like, ever. At those odds, I’ll be in my fifties before I meet another one. I could be postmenopausal by then. Would I even enjoy it?”
“So this is an alpha thing?”
“I would be lying if I said that it’s not a little bit of an alpha thing,” I tell him truthfully. “But also, scowling aside, you’re the most normal person I’ve dated all year, fake or not. I’m going to get carpal tunnel if I don’t give my poor hands a break.”
Noah’s eyes go wide. “That’s very . . . forthcoming.”
I reason that it’s not a good idea to make a coming joke right now. It’ll probably spook him.
“Come on. We’re obviously compatible. I mean, you begrudgingly think my jokes are funny, and I’ve come to find your perpetual grumpiness kind of cute. It’s like someone dropped a sex gift basket in our laps. It would be rude not to open it.”
“I don’t know if I take more issue with ‘sex gift basket’ or you calling me cute.”
“I said your grumpiness was cute. Kind of.” I can tell he’s still wavering. “I mean, aren’t you curious? Don’t you want to see what all the fuss is about?”
“I . . .” He still looks unsure. Like there’s a chance this might all be a trap. “I don’t want to take advantage of you.”
“Oh, spare me,” I laugh. “I promise you, Noah. I’m not reading anything into this. You can come up to my apartment and have sex with me and nothing will change. Scout’s honor.”
“And you’re . . . sure you want to?”
“Okay. This is starting to make me seem borderline desperate, so I’m just gonna ask one more time if you want to come up for a drink, and if you say no, we’ll forget this ever happened. But if you say yes . . . No more worrying about my delicate sensibilities. I’m a grown-ass woman, Noah, and I know what I want.”
The change in Noah is subtle, so much that one might miss it, but there is less tension in his shoulders now, less uncertainty in his eyes. I take it as a good sign.
“So, Noah,” I start again carefully as I give him a sweet smile. “Do you want to come up for a drink?”
* * *
?He’s still acting like he might bolt at any second. Like he’s arguing with himself in his head about all the reasons why he shouldn’t be here. He’s sitting stiffly on my couch like one of those bronzed park bench statues—frowning at my carpet in a way that lets me know he is completely in his own head right now.
I study him from the kitchen counter as I pour him a glass of wine, letting myself drink him in. He really is . . . something. Now that I’m actually assessing. I’m honestly not sure how I haven’t given him proper notice before all this, regardless of his formerly sour attitude. Which, I really have begun to realize, is just a weird part of his charm. His dark hair has started to curl at his temples, a product of his fingers running through it nervously one too many times, and his full mouth is pressed almost into a pout-like shape with how hard he’s thinking. When I gather up our glasses to join him on the couch, I take note of the width of his forearms, completely visible with the rolled-up sleeves of his button-down. Just looking at them sparks memories of being wrapped up in them only a few hours ago, which has me pressing my thighs together.
Take the bull by the horns, Mack.
I hand him a glass, and he looks almost surprised to see it, then he notices me settling on the other side of the couch. “So, you really meant a drink?”
“It feels like you could use it. You look like you’re about to jump out of my window.” I chuckle as I take a sip from my glass. “If I didn’t know nerves were to blame, I might be offended.”
He looks confused, his hand stilling just before his glass touches his lips. “Offended?”
“Well . . .” I swirl the dark red liquid of the rioja as I avert my eyes, peering into my wineglass. “I’ve never had to talk someone into sleeping with me before. Not exactly great for my ego.”
“It’s not—” He makes a disgruntled sound, taking a sudden swig from his glass and swallowing it forcefully before shaking his head. “It’s not because I don’t want to.”
I turn more to my side to face him, leaning on my elbow as I let it rest against the back of the couch. “Could have fooled me.”
“I think we both know by the state you left me in on that deck that I very much want to,” he says more quietly. He takes another swig, for courage, maybe. “I worry.”
I frown. “Worry?”
“I know you’re a grown woman, I know that, but . . . neither of us fully understands the implications of what we’re doing here. We haven’t ever experienced . . . something like this.”
My mouth makes an O shape. “So, you’ve never . . . ?”
“No.” He shakes his head. “I’ve never met anyone like you.”