I dropped the silken nightgown, my hand hovering over the lace one for a moment as I considered. The petty, vindictive part of me wanted to let whoever it was who came through my door take it all. I wanted to give what had been meant to be Gray’s away, showing him how little he mattered.
The witches may never know, but I had no doubt Gray would be able to smell me on another male. He’d know exactly what I’d done, and it would serve him fucking right.
I swallowed, shoving that part of me down, and picked up the silk gown.
“Maybe next time,” Della said, smiling kindly. “The first time is overwhelming. I think that was the right choice for tonight.”
I tugged on the fabric, pulling it overhead and letting it settle on my curves. It hugged every line and groove in my body, fitting like a second skin as if it was made for me.
“There will be plenty of time for me to partake in the other pleasures,” I said, shoving down the part of me that cared.
“Bra and underwear off,” she said, her lips twisting and nose scrunching. “Those are the rules. Regardless of which clothes…”
“That’s disgusting,” I muttered, but I reached behind my back and unhooked my bra.
My breasts dropped without the support, the fabric clinging to them and leaving nothing to the imagination in the silk that was semi-transparent. Shimmying my underwear down my legs, I tossed them to the side and moved to the center of the room when I was ready.
“You have two options. I can either secure you to the bed or the hook,” she said, pointing above my head. Sure enough, hanging from the ceiling was the tiniest of hooks I hadn’t noticed.
“Secure me?” I asked, watching as she went to the closet. She pulled a pair of padded cuffs from the top shelf, coming toward me as she took my hands in hers. Wrapping each of my wrists in one of them, she moved slowly, giving me time to adjust to the feeling of cushioned leather against my skin.
When each of my wrists was wrapped, she hooked the cuffs together with tiny latches so that they were stuck together in front of me. “This can’t be necessary,” I said, my eyes widening when she went to the closet again. She came back with a chain, feeding it through the loops in the leather until she wrapped it around my wrists.
“You can’t be allowed to see him,” she said, letting the chain drop to the floor. She held a piece of cloth in front of my face, the meaning clear as I swallowed.
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “I refuse to be tied up and blindfolded.”
She sighed, taking my bound hands in hers. The warmth of her skin penetrated the sudden chill that had taken me, bringing me back to the one place I didn’t want to go.
The one place I swore I would do anything to avoid.
My chest heaved, the panic coming swift and suddenly. I couldn’t breathe. Darkness closed in around the edges of my vision.
“Please. Please don’t,” I begged, shaking my head from side to side.
Della froze, her face twisting as she realized something was wrong. “Willow, I have to. If I don’t, they’ll force you. Do you understand me? This is not optional.”
I whimpered, looking between my two options as I fought for the ability to breathe. “I can’t…”
“I’ll get Headmaster Thorne,” she said suddenly, sighing as she looked at me. “Maybe he can make a special accommodation if he sees you himself.”
“No!” I screamed, making her freeze in place. “The hook. Just do it,” I said, trying to still the trembling in my fingers. My jaw ached with how harshly I gritted my teeth, with the way I clenched to try to keep the panic at bay.
The pain helped. It always brought me back to the present.
Della grabbed a control from the closet, pushing a button until the hook lowered itself in front of me. I stared at it as she twisted the red fabric, twisting it and layering it until I was certain I wouldn’t be able to see through it. Until I knew all that would remain was the darkness that never seemed to end.
“Are you sure?” she asked, reaching up with a single hand.
I hadn’t realized I was crying until her finger slid through the wetness on my cheek, brushing it away with a gentleness I didn’t deserve. I sniffed back the others, shutting out the shame.
I nodded, letting my eyes drift closed as she covered my eyes with the fabric. The moment it touched my skin, my eyes flung open. They found nothing but pitch, eternal black. Nothing but the void of all light and life.
Like being buried alive.
I whimpered, pinching my eyes closed again and trying to convince myself it was only the back of my eyelids. That I wasn’t there all over again.
I was at Hollow’s Grove. My father couldn’t touch me.
Couldn’t punish me when I disobeyed him on the weekends he brought me to his cabin.
Della raised my wrists to the hook, looping the chain over it. Only the clanking of them filled my ears over the sound of my own harsh, ragged breathing.
I felt when she stepped away. The chain rose, dragging me up onto my toes as my arms pulled tight over my head.
“It will be over soon, Willow,” she said, her footsteps fading away.
Then she was gone, and I was alone again.
Alone in my own personal Hell.
26
GRAY
She waited, suspended from the ceiling.
A single breath in. A single breath out.
All I could hear was her racing heart as it filled the room. I stepped in, watching as she flinched from the sound of my footsteps. Branches scraped over the window outside, making her spin her head in the other direction.
She squirmed where the other witch had helped her string herself up, and I could just imagine the ache that had built in her shoulders. I’d kept her waiting, wanting her dread and anticipation to simmer in her blood before I came to her.
It made it taste all the sweeter.
She’d lost sight of what the Vessels were, of who we were meant to be. She needed the reminder of what I was capable of and what I was not. A Vessel could never love her. She’d never be anything more than a convenience and a toy.
She swallowed loudly, struggling as her toes slipped out from under her. She gasped, her breath coming in deep, shuddering breaths as her mouth dropped open in panic.
What the Hell?
I took another step toward her, watching as her body went perfectly still. I resisted the urge to speak, keeping my voice silent because of the knowledge that she would recognize it. Even though I wanted to comfort her, to calm her racing heart, I knew that once I spoke, the game would be over.
And I so very much wanted to play.
The blindfold remained tightly fastened around her head despite her best efforts. I stepped up behind her, letting her feel the weight of my presence. She managed to get her feet beneath her once again, pressing up into her hands just slightly and taking some weight off her shoulders.
I rested a hand on her hip, my fingers gently stroking over the silken fabric as she stilled. It pleased me that she hadn’t chosen the lace nightgown, refusing to allow a stranger to take what was mine. It didn’t matter to me that I would have been the one to fuck her, despite her intent.