To stop myself from yawning, I started counting the arches in the cathedral’s soaring vaulted ceiling. Since Grandpa had raised me agnostic, I hadn’t spent much time in churches. The architectural drama of this one seemed to match Claudia’s extroverted persona. But as I turned to the back of the church, I quickly lost count.
A familiar silhouette stood against the sunlight in the doorway. Tall, but not quite lanky. A head bowed deferentially, curls coaxed into formality with the heavy-handed use of hair product.
Hugo. Here in spirit and in blood—via a grandson, at least.
As if he felt my eyes upon him, he raised his head and looked directly at me. Keeping his hand close to his waist, his wave was discreet but his smile genuine.
After I returned the smile and we both looked back to face the altar, I realized my entire body was tingling.
* * *
Following the recessional, I slipped out the side door of the church and tried not to be obvious in my search for curls in the sea of heads. It wasn’t hard to spot Hugo at the bottom of the steps—it’s difficult to blend in when you’re a foot taller than most. I’d always suspected that the reason Grandpa wore neutrals and muted greens was to camouflage his notable height in the urban environment.
This time Hugo’s wave was enthusiastic. He walked up toward me, stopping one step below so that the gradation partially dissolved our height difference.
“Hi, Clover,” he grinned. I liked how the volume of his voice was consistently gentle, as if he was speaking in a library or as the lights dimmed before a theater performance.
“Hi, Hugo.” It was strange to feel such familiarity with someone I hardly knew.
“I hope it’s okay that I’m here,” he said, looking around at the other mourners. “After you texted to let me know Claudia had passed, I thought about how much it would’ve meant to my grandfather for me to pay respects on his behalf. When you sent the link to her obituary and I saw that the funeral was being held here, I figured I could probably blend in.” He patted the top of his head. “Well, as much as my height lets me.”
“Claudia would’ve loved that you’re here.” Now that we were almost at eye level, I noticed the flecks of amber in his gray irises. “Reading those letters and knowing that your grandpa came to find her really did help her find some peace.”
“I’m just happy she got to see them before, well, you know…” Hugo adjusted the collar of his coat—he looked quite distinguished when he dressed up.
“We got there just in time.” I glanced over his shoulder, hoping the brief break in eye contact would settle my jitters. “I have the letters at home if you want them back? I was going to mail them to you.”
“Yeah, I’d love to have them, if you wouldn’t mind? Reading them made me feel so much closer to him—you know, being able to get to know him as a young man instead of just as a grandfather.”
“Of course.” I spotted Sebastian climbing the steps in our direction, Jessie trailing behind him in a short pink dress that, despite my limited fashion knowledge, didn’t seem funeral-appropriate. “I was thinking I might scan them first if that’s okay? I haven’t told Sebastian about them yet, but he might like to see them one day.”
“Great idea.” As Sebastian arrived next to him, Hugo reached out to shake his hand. “Hey, Sebastian, I’m so sorry for your loss. Even when you know it’s going to happen, it doesn’t make it any easier.”
“Thanks, man, appreciate it.” Sebastian glanced sideways at me then back at Hugo like he was piecing together a puzzle.
“Hope you don’t mind that I came,” Hugo said. “I saw the funeral notice and wanted to pay my respects.”
The explanation seemed to relax Sebastian a little. “Not at all—it’s a shame you didn’t get to meet Grandma.”
Hugo patted his breast pocket. “I’m looking forward to reading the program—her photography was beautiful.” He turned to Jessie, who was hovering stiffly behind Sebastian. “Hi there, I’m Hugo.”
Sebastian looked like he’d only just remembered she was standing there. “Right, sorry—this is Jessie.” He looked quickly at me. “And you guys have already met.”
Jessie entwined her arm possessively around Sebastian’s elbow. “Oh, yeah, at the bar—what was your name again?” Her voice was as saccharine as I remembered.
“Clover.”
“So cute,” she said in a way that made me wonder if it was a compliment.
“Sebastian!” Sarah was walking briskly in our direction, balancing her feet in stilettos and a squirming toddler on her hip. “We’re heading back to the townhouse to finish prepping before everyone arrives for the wake. Oh, hi, Clover—so good of you to come.” Sarah looked at Hugo uncertainly.
“Hi, Sarah,” I said quickly. “This is Hugo.”
Sarah’s eyes flicked between Hugo and me. “Nice to meet you. Will the two of you be joining us for the wake?”
Hugo’s face lit up. “Definitely.”
For once, Sarah’s face implied that she approved of something. “Wonderful!” Her expression turned authoritative as she faced her brother. “Sebastian, are you coming with us?”
He straightened like a puppy being called to heel.
“We’ll be right there,” he said, looking at us as if trying to understand what his sister had found so pleasing. “I guess I’ll see you guys later.”
* * *
I’d planned to spend only a courteous hour at the wake, so I was grateful when Hugo told me he had to leave and asked if I wanted a ride.
“You said you live in the West Village, right? I’m staying with a friend in Brooklyn, so I can drop you on the way if you want?”
“That would be great.” I wouldn’t even get him to drop me a few blocks away from my apartment.
I searched for Sebastian in the crowded living room and realized it was the first time I’d ever seen it with any sign of life. He was being commandeered again by the big-hatted twosome from the church. When I caught his attention and made the motion that I was leaving, he looked back helplessly and then gave me a resigned wave. Though I was secretly relieved our farewell could be kept to a simple exchange of hand signals, I still felt a twinge of sadness. We’d been through so much in the past two months—it would be strange not to have him around. Maybe we could be friends one day.
As I sidestepped through a gauntlet of well-heeled New Yorkers in the hallway, a hand clasped my forearm. With a different squirming toddler on her hip, Sarah leaned away from her husband toward my left ear.
“That guy of yours is handsome.” She nodded at Hugo waiting patiently by the front door. “Good for you.”
“Oh, thanks.” I blushed, but didn’t bother correcting her. My embarrassment morphed quickly into quiet pride.
While Sarah and Claudia didn’t see eye to eye on green smoothies, their taste in men still appeared to follow the same bloodline.
When the Lyft pulled up in front of my building, it felt like only a few minutes had passed since we’d left the Upper West Side. Hugo leaned between the front seats to address the driver, a cheerful soul named Dimuth. “Hey, man, could you just wait a couple of minutes, please?” He handed Dimuth twenty dollars. “So you get paid for the extra waiting time.”
We stood at the bottom of my stoop, the afternoon radiance muting into twilight.
“It was really great seeing you,” Hugo said. “I wish I didn’t have to drop you off and run, but I promised my buddy I’d meet him for drinks and I can’t really say no, since I’m sleeping on his sofa and he’s watching Gus right now.”
“No problem.” I did my best to sound nonchalant. “I really appreciate the ride home—thank you.”
Dimuth was watching us expectantly.
Hugo put his hands in his pockets and glanced briefly at the treetops. “So, I’m going to be in town for the next week.” He looked back down at me. “Maybe we could meet up for coffee again … and I could get those letters?”
Of course, it was the letters he wanted. I was embarrassed that I let myself think otherwise, if only for a second. “Yes, sure—I’ll scan them tomorrow so they’re ready for you to take whenever.”
“Perfect! I’ll text you.” Hugo lightly touched my shoulder. “I’m glad we get to see each other again so soon.”
Disappointment and hope dueled in my chest. “Me too.”
Long after the Lyft drove away, I could still feel his presence.
50