“I think you’re being too generous. Plain stupid is more like it. Don’t go easy on me. I’ve been a narcissistic asshole the past few months.” I grimace and correct myself, “Maybe years?”
“No, I was pretty harsh before. They gave me some painkillers and I think they’re starting to work.” She shrugs. “So, you’re going through a self-obsessed phase. So what? Do you remember when I dated Charlie the New Yorker cartoonist and I was convinced he was cheating on me, and it was all I could talk about for four solid months?”
“He was cheating on you. You were right.” When I saw him on Hinge, I shrieked and threw my phone across the room. I recognized him from my role as Priya’s accomplice on many evenings of light internet stalking. She insisted I try and match with him to catch him in the act of cheating on her. We flirted for a few days in messages Priya ghostwrote, and on the night of our first date, Priya showed up instead of me to confront him. He stormed out, but I was waiting at the bar. We closed down the restaurant toasting the success of our mission, the thrill of catching him dulling the sting of his betrayal. He didn’t matter; we had each other.
“So, I’m saying everyone gets a main character phase once in a while.”
Priya was pretty insufferable that spring.
“Speaking of dating . . . do you want to talk about what happened with you and Dr. Ben?”
Priya pats the sheets next to her good leg. I climb in bed with her, scrunching myself as small as possible against the guardrail so I don’t jostle her injured leg, which is nestled atop a stack of pillows while she waits for a cast. Somewhere in the distance a heart-rate monitor emits a steady beep-beep-beep.
Priya shifts so her head rests on my shoulder and she can whisper the story directly in my ear, as if the people in the neighboring cubicles might be listening through the curtain-walls. Although, with the wait times tonight and no other entertainment, they might be.
“I’m an idiot, Han. The problem with us was always distance, so I thought once he moved here our problem would be solved and we’d be together. He said from the beginning he wasn’t looking for anything serious. That the first year of internship is super intense and he didn’t have time for a relationship, but I thought he was bluffing. So, I thought we were dating, while he thought we were having post-shift cocktails and casual sex.” She covers her eyes with both hands. “He told me exactly what it was, and I didn’t believe him. I’m not even sure if it counts as a breakup if both people aren’t on the same page about being in a relationship in the first place.
“When I asked him what we were doing for Christmas, he got all freaked out and ended things. I think that’s why I was so hard on you the past month. You were complaining about not wanting to spend Christmas with David, while I was bending over backward to get Ben to invite me to spend Christmas with him. And here you had this great guy who loves you so much and wants to build a future with you, and you were pumping the brakes.”
“Well, joke’s on Ben. You are spending Christmas together. You kind of won this one.”
“Not funny,” Priya says. “Or intentional.”
“I’m sorry I was rubbing all my David stuff in your face. I didn’t know. Also, Ben is an idiot if he doesn’t want to be with you. You’re the dream girl.”
I press a kiss to Priya’s forehead. Our roles in this conversation are familiar from any number of times we pretended a frog was a prince and were disappointed when he turned out to be a frog after all. “If it makes you feel any better, I think I’m about to be single again, too. I think David’s going to break up with me. He’s super pissed.”
She finds my hand between us on the bed and squeezes. “He should be.”
“Wow,” I deadpan, “great to have friends who are unconditionally on my side. Finn basically said the same thing. Did everyone take truth serum when I was in the bathroom?”
“It’s your friends’ job to tell you when you’re being stupid, and you are. So, are you going to stop being so dense and go do something about it?”
“I tried. I called David but he didn’t answer. He’s probably screening my calls.”
“Oh my god!” Priya shrieks. If the people in the surrounding cubicles weren’t listening before, they are now. “This isn’t a conversation you have over the phone. You need to go there.”
“Yeah, but didn’t we just have a fight about me being a bad friend? You’re in the actual hospital, so . . . I think I should probably stay here.”
“Ugh,” she groans, “be a good friend to me tomorrow. Tonight you need to go to Connecticut and find David.”
She’s right. I do need to go find him. This isn’t a phone conversation. This is a grovel on my hands and knees situation. Even then, I’m not sure we can come back from this.
“Are you sure you don’t mind? Finn and Theo can stay. And you can call me if you need anything and I’ll come right back.”
“I’m not going to need anything. They’re keeping me overnight. They can’t reach the orthopedist on call. And take Finn and Theo, I think you need them more than I do. Ben offered to wait with me when his shift ends at eleven.” Her expression is unreadable. I can’t tell if she’s hoping they’re not as over as she thought.
“You’re not going to get back together with him, are you?” I ask.
“No, but we still need to talk. I think I need some closure. I’m not over him yet, but I’ll get there. This time was finally the last.”
“And we’re okay?”
“We’re fine. That’s what sisters do, we fight.” She grins at me and I dip my head onto her shoulder for a second. “Ow! Seriously, Hannah, get out of my bed and go to Connecticut right now.”
“Jeez, I’m going.”
* * *
? ? ?
I text Finn and Theo to meet me in the lobby. While I wait, I pull up Uber and plug in David’s parents’ address. The fare will be astronomical, but I don’t care. This is too important.
No cars available.
I open Lyft and enter the address. No cars available.
I check the Metro North schedule, but all trains are canceled for the rest of the night. The tracks must be frozen.
I step through the automatic doors out to First Avenue. Being inside a hospital for four hours is like being in a sensory deprivation tank—it was afternoon when we came in, but now it’s full dark—I blink at the lights of the building across the street as I try to find my bearings. The city is oddly quiet, like the entire population of New York is at home on the couch in elastic-waist pants after a long day of food and family.
I scan the street for a cab. A handful pass, but none have their light on.
By the time Finn and Theo make it to the lobby, I’m in a full-blown panic, pacing back and forth in front of the main doors. I downloaded every transportation app I could find and struck out with all of them. And still not a single open taxi.
Theo’s arms are loaded with a giant stuffed teddy bear and a bouquet of red-and-green-dyed carnations, while Finn has a balloon that says “It’s a boy!”