Ari ran around her room, throwing my sweats at my head and trying to locate her own pants. I stood up, hopping on alternating feet to get dressed.
“Where the fuck are my pants?” said Ari. Outside of sex, I’d never heard her curse this much in a five-minute period. She was bending over, looking under the bed. I was enjoying the view of her ass perched high in the air with Wonder Woman emblems dancing about. I was hoping she wouldn’t find pants at all.
“Ari, just grab some shorts out of your dresser,” I said, cocking my head to one side, mesmerized by the bobbing Ws over a perfectly ripe peach.
The sound of someone clearing their throat interrupted all of that.
Ari’s mother was standing in the doorway. She folded her arms and behind her glasses, her brows crinkled in an expression that was something between amusement and annoyance. Her short, cropped hair was a coppery red, which seemed to match her tartan print wrap. I felt like a horny teenager caught sneaking out of his girlfriend’s bedroom.
Her mom cleared her throat. “Ari, I’m sure whatever you’re looking for isn’t under the bed.” Then she looked over at me. “Or in the bed it seems.”
Startled, Ari bumped her head on the metal frame as she slid from underneath the bed.
Ari looked like she wanted to pee herself. I walked up to her mother, wiping my hands on my pants, and extending it toward her for a shake.
“Hi, I’m...”
“Porter,” she said, finishing my introduction, smiling as she shook my hand. “I’m Doris, sweetie. Call me Doris. Or Miss Doris. Hell, call me Ma. Especially now that I’ve seen you half-naked.” She pointed toward Ari. “And I gave birth to this one, so her sitting here in her superhero drawers ain’t nothing. I thought you grew out of wearing Underoos, girl!”
“Ma! Seriously, what are you doing here? And why are you using your spare key! It’s for emergencies!” squealed Ari, still rubbing her head. I tried to suppress my laughter. Ari was acting like Doris caught her red-handed for skipping school to fuck.
“Well, I called your job, and they said you were working remote. So, I figured you were at home. I didn’t know that you weren’t home...alone,” Doris said, with all the innuendo her voice could muster.
Ari finally scrambled to find a Guns N’ Roses T-shirt and some sweatpants. “Ma, this is Porter.”
“Honey, we’ve already made introductions. Now, y’all come to the kitchen. I’ll put on some coffee to go with these cronuts. Or do you two need something stronger? Sex makes me thirsty for a gin and tonic.” Doris trotted down the hallway, her mules clicking along the hardwood.
I began laughing. “Well, that was a hell of a way to meet your mom. I was hoping I’d meet her for brunch. Not shirtless in my drawers. Well, you were in drawers.”
Ari rolled her eyes and punched me in the arm. “I can’t stand you. Listen, let’s just get this over with.”
I put my hand on the small of Ari’s back. She relaxed against the palm of my hand. I kissed her forehead. “Come on, it’s going to be fine. Besides, like she said, she’s already seen me half-naked. What’s the worst that could happen at this point?”
Doris looked at us over her coffee cup as Ari and I ate our cronuts in relative silence. Ari tapped her fingers nervously against the kitchen island and her mother shook her head with a slight smirk.
“So...what was so important that the two of you skipped work?” asked Doris as she put a cronut on her saucer. “You know what? Don’t answer that.”
I cleared my throat. “The truth of the matter is, Miss Doris, is that, well, Ari and I... Well, I had a rough weekend. My brother was in an accident. And Ari was keeping me company. Being a friend.”
Doris’s eyes enlarged. “Oh my. I’m so sorry, honey. Is he okay?”
I nodded. “Yeah. I think so. I’m glad Ari was there for me. She was my rock.”
Ari blushed. “We just needed some time away from work. Away from the project.”
Doris smiled. “Seems like you two needed a break. And needed each other.” Doris grabbed our empty coffee cups and refilled them both with ease and grace, carrying them like a professional waitress. She placed them in front of us, without a drop spilled. Impressive.
Doris folded her arms and leaned back, looking at us. “And by the way, Ari. I know you said your co-worker was good-looking, but honey, you grossly downplayed this boy’s looks. The boy looks like a young Smokey Robinson! And you know I loved me some Smokey! Come to think of it, we conceived you to some Smokey, Ari. Maybe.”
Ari coughed, nearly choking on her cronut. “Jesus, Ma!”
I rested my fist on my chin to keep myself from laughing. “Well, I appreciate it, Miss Doris. I like Smokey, too.” I liked Doris. She was hilariously raunchy. I instantly realized that Ari inherited her sense of humor.
Doris asked about the project, and we filled her in on the progress. I bragged about Ari’s design capabilities. Ari kept talking about how I was about to make partner after this stadium project. I rested my hand on her knee, drawing circles with my index finger. Ari looked over at me and winked.
Doris reached into her pocket and pulled out a key, laying it on the counter with a dramatic thud. The clink rang throughout the kitchen. “Well, it looks like I don’t need this anymore. Seems like Porter may need this more than I do.”
Ari looked at me and then back at her mom. “Ah. I wouldn’t go that far, Mama. You know, we’re friends.”
“Well, you know, just in case. Besides. You already know I have like four more copies.”
Ari threw up her hands. “Of course, you do, Doris James!”
Doris smiled, reaching for her purse on the opposite end of the counter. Its bright red color also matched her hair. Doris was a whiz at coordination and had a flair for style. I wondered if Ari would be just as fly at her age.
“Well,” Doris declared with a florid swoosh of her Burberry cape. “I’m going to leave you two to your hooky day from work. Get back to...you know...whatever it was you all were doing before I came in. I wouldn’t mind if you made me a grandbaby. Ari, are you on the pill?”
“Goodbye, Mama,” Ari huffed.
Doris kissed Ari on the cheek and stretched her hands out to me for a hug. I hugged her, and she squeezed tightly.
“Treat my baby right, Smokey,” Doris whispered in my ear. “Even if she resists!”
“I will,” I said.
I watched as Doris threw her hand up and switched her hips out of the door. I turned to Ari with a smile. “Your mom is something else.”
Ari, still reeling from embarrassment, put her hands in her hair. “Ugh. I know. My mama is just...a lot. Listen, about the key thing. When the time is right, we will talk about it. Until then...”
Before I knew it, I pulled out my key ring and located my extra key. I slid it across the counter toward Ari. Her bright brown eyes widened. I didn’t know why, but it felt right.
“Only if you want to,” I said. “No pressure. We don’t even know what we are. But I’d rather you find me before my cats ate my remains in my loft. Also, clear my search history.”