“I bet you wish you’d thought of that.”
“Indeed. It’s sometimes aggravating, but more often it’s heartwarming.” She preferred to focus on the positive. “I like the human connection. It makes me feel as if I’m part of something. Maybe it’s harder if you have something to hide.”
“I’m sure it is. It would be hard to conduct an illicit affair, for example. If you tried climbing out of someone’s window to avoid being seen, you can be sure someone local would be standing there with a ladder.”
“Are you speaking from experience?”
He smiled. “I prefer relationships where I can walk through the front door. And now tell me about the rest of your week. I was half expecting you to cancel. Too busy.”
She’d almost canceled a million times, not because she was too busy but because she was afraid. Afraid of herself. Afraid of where this might go, or where it might not go.
She knew instinctively that Noah could change her future.
“Not too busy. In fact, tonight is the first night in a long while that I’ve felt confident that I can leave the place without worrying that someone will walk out while I’m gone. Thank you for your messages checking on me. That was kind.” She didn’t tell him that she’d kept her phone with her constantly, and reread those messages multiple times.
“I was worried about you. I wanted to know you were all right. And you do seem all right.” He took the road that led to the next town. “Fill me in.”
She told him about Erica, and how Delphi had somehow bridged the awkwardness between them. And then she talked about Claudia and about how Chloe had blossomed in the few days she’d had full responsibility. “Stephanie thought I should fire her, but she’s proving to be more than an asset now that Stephanie’s gone.”
“People are often capable of more than they think, particularly when they’re given responsibility and allowed to use their initiative.”
“Yes.” She wondered if they were still talking about Chloe. “How about you? Christmas is your busiest time.”
“It is. Everyone wants a Christmas tree, although this year we’ve done well in the shop selling wreaths and the small pot-grown trees.”
They were driving along snowy roads, through small towns and past houses coated with snow and framed with lights.
Hattie felt a warm glow of contentment, and for a brief moment she felt the same childlike rush of excitement she’d had when she was young and contemplating Christmas, and it cheered her to know she could still feel that, that it was still there, because for so long she’d been afraid it had gone forever.
“I used to love Christmas. It was my favorite time of year.”
It was a moment before he responded. “And now?”
“I’m looking forward to it. And Delphi is beside herself. Pretty soon she’ll be counting hours, not sleeps.”
“Will Erica be staying on now that you’re getting to know each other?”
It was something she’d wondered herself. “I doubt it. She is a busy woman. She probably has plans. I get the impression she’s not the type of person who gets dizzy about the holidays. She wrote a letter to Santa. Her first one ever.”
“She did that?”
“Yes. She did it for Delphi, who was shocked that she’d never written.”
“She’s gone up in my estimation.” He glanced at her, curious. “What did she ask for in this letter?”
“I don’t know. They wouldn’t tell me. Nor do I have a clue what Delphi asked for.” And it was bothering her. “If I don’t know, how can Santa bring it?”
“I hope that’s not a question you’re expecting me to answer because we’ve definitely strayed beyond the scope of my expertise.”
“I don’t know why she won’t tell me. She always tells me.” She frowned. “I just have to hope she loves what I’ve chosen for her.”
“And how about you? What do you want Santa to bring you?”
The question made her smile. “I think I’m low on Santa’s list of priorities.”
“You’re always thinking about other people. How about thinking about yourself for a change?”
For the past few years she hadn’t had the luxury of being able to put herself first. Even before Brent had died, they’d been so busy renovating the inn and then building the business that all she’d wanted Santa to bring her was a good night’s sleep.
But tonight, for the first time, she had no one to think about but herself.
And it had been so long since she’d had an evening that was all hers, not shared with the inn, or even with her daughter, whom she loved deeply but whose presence allowed little in terms of personal space. And while being busy was good and had helped her to get through each day, she wondered if it had also kept her stuck in the same place. It was so much easier to do what needed to be done than contemplate an alternative.
“I am thinking of myself,” she said. “That’s why I’m here.”
But why was he here? She didn’t know much about his dating life, but it was impossible to live in a town like this one and not hear things. There had been rumors about Noah and one of the local doctors, and she knew from comments she’d overheard that plenty of women were interested, but she’d never seen him with anyone. She didn’t know if he’d loved and lost, or never loved at all.
“We’ve arrived.” Noah swung the car into a space outside a restaurant that glowed with festive charm. Surrounded by pine trees, the mountains rose behind it, the snow luminous in the moonlight.
Hattie sat for a moment, absorbing the atmosphere. “What a perfect place. It looks like a log cabin. I feel as if I’m in Switzerland. How did I not know about this?”
“You haven’t exactly been getting out much. But hopefully, we’re going to change that.”
She looked into his eyes and felt a jolt of heat. A relaxed evening with a friend, he’d said, but she was pretty sure he didn’t look at any of his friends the way he was looking at her at that moment. And he was making it sound as if this dinner wasn’t a one-off. As if this might be the beginning of something and not just a single night.
She was surprised by how much she hoped that was the case.
“Careful.” He closed the car door and extended a hand. “The path might be icy.”
She took his hand, thinking that the heat currently pounding from her would melt any ice in a moment.
“You’ve been here before?”
“A couple of times. In the summer they have tables out on the deck, overlooking the river and the mountains. It’s a pretty place and the food is excellent.”
Who had he come here with? Had he sat across from the doctor, looking at her the way he was looking at her now?
She pushed the thought away. They were both too old to be bringing the past into the present. That was life.