“Do you wish you’d said no?” I murmured.
I didn’t even need to specify what I was talking about.
He took a long time to respond.
“I cursed myself for that answer,” he said at last, “for a long, long time. Death would have been better than those next seventy years. But... maybe there’s something to be said for the years that came after that.” His eyes flicked to me, crinkling slightly with an almost-smile. “Maybe even the years that come after this one.”
The corner of my mouth twitched. His brow flattened.
“What’s that face for?”
“Nothing. It’s just... a very optimistic thing for you to say.”
He threw his hands up. “Well fuck, if we can’t be even a little optimistic, what are we doing any of this for?”
It was, I had to admit, a fair point.
“So you think we can do this,” I said, my gaze slipping back to the city. “Tomorrow.”
Optimism wasn’t exactly what I got from his long silence.
“We’d better,” he said.
“It’s just quiet,” I said. “It’s...”
“Unnerving.”
Yes. Unnaturally quiet, even for the daytime. I would have expected to see more activity visible in Sivrinaj. More barricades, maybe, or more troops stationed beyond the boundaries of the city. But even when we had arrived here, at dawn, it had been still.
“They’re bracing for us,” Jesmine had said. “They don’t have enough men. They need to use what they can to keep the inner city safe, not run out and meet us out here, leaving their other sides exposed.”
Logically, that made sense. Vale had agreed. Still... something about it made the hairs stand up on the back of my neck.
“You’d better not be going soft on me, princess,” Raihn said, nudging my shoulder. “What, you’re scared? You? The steel-nerved Hiaj queen?”
I glared at him, and he chuckled.
“That’s better.”
“I’m not scared. I’m just...”
I looked back at the city. Then at him. Then at the city.
Alright. Maybe I was scared.
I settled on, “I feel the way I felt before the last trial.”
Not afraid, exactly. Not afraid for myself, at least. I wasn’t afraid of a sword through my own gut. But I was afraid of letting my kingdom fall. I was afraid of all I could lose.
I glanced back to Raihn, his face now serious as he gazed out over the skyline, pink sunset light outlining his profile, and suddenly, that fear cut even deeper.
His eyes flicked to mine, and I saw that fear reflected back at me, like a mirror to my own. It stirred a complicated knot of emotions in my stomach, words that I didn’t know how to untangle.
He swept a stray strand of hair behind my ear.
“I always admired that about you,” he said. “That you fought even when you were afraid. Don’t you dare stop now. No matter what happens.”
I gave him a wry smile. “You said that then, too.”
Don’t you dare stop fighting, princess. It would break my damned heart.
“I remember. And it did break my heart when you stopped.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. I settled on, “Well. At least we’re fighting now.”
A faint laugh. “We sure fucking are.”
“It will be enough.” I hoped it didn’t sound like I was reassuring myself, even though I was. “A show of strength. That’s all they respond to.”
Without meaning to, I touched my Mark.
They will never respect you unless they fear you, little serpent, Vincent whispered in my ear. Show them something to be afraid of.
It had been a while since I’d heard his voice, even in my head. The sound of it left me a bit off-balance.
As if he’d seen it—because of course he’d seen it—Raihn’s hand lingered at my lower back, a steadying touch.
“They won’t stand a chance,” he said.
But did I imagine that he, too, sounded uncertain?
I turned a little, intending to face him, but the movement just pressed me against his arm. I ended up leaning against his shoulder, laying my head on it.
It was just… nice, to soak up these last few minutes of private companionship. It was different than having sex with him. Different, even, than sleeping beside him. It was somehow more intimate.
His arm folded around me. His face tilted, and when he spoke, I could feel his breath on my forehead. “Just want you to know, Oraya,” he murmured, “that you were the best part of it. The best part of all of it.”
My chest clenched violently, so sudden and sharp it felt like the aftermath of a blow. The earnestness of what he’d just said cut me open.
But worse still was how much it sounded like a goodbye.
I said, voice tighter than I intended, “You accuse me of going soft when you’re spewing that sappy bullshit?”
He laughed, and I scowled. But I still didn’t move, settling more comfortably against his body. And when his hand moved down to mine, I threaded my fingers through his like it was the most natural thing in the world.
I wasn’t sure how long we stayed like that. Just watching the minutes tick by until the end of it all.
55
ORAYA
The minute the sun set, Jesmine roused the warriors. The bloodthirsty excitement of the night before was gone. Now, the soldiers were efficient, focused—a set of well-oiled gears grinding to life for one purpose alone. Warriors silently donned their weapons and armor, all ready and waiting. We didn’t have much time to strike. Every second counted.
The summoners had been preparing their sigils the entire journey, calling Nightborn demons the moment the sun disappeared beneath the horizon. Now I understood how Jesmine had used so many demons in her attack on the armory, what felt like a lifetime ago—she, wisely, had recruited many summoners to her army. Smart, because demons were far more expendable than people, especially in an army this woefully undermanned. I was grateful for the beasts now, disgusting as they were. We needed the bodies, and while demons weren’t as smart as vampires, they were certainly just as vicious.
We didn’t bother breaking down our tents, leaving them discarded in the sands, an eerily abandoned sea of debris left in our wake—looking as if thousands of people had simply disappeared into the desert.
We knew that either way, in victory or defeat, we wouldn’t be coming back.
Our offensive would be a fourfold attack. Vale’s allies’ fleets would circle Sivrinaj from the sea, splitting the attention of Simon and Septimus’s forces. Raihn would spearhead the airborne assault with Vale, bringing hundreds of Rishan and Hiaj warriors straight to the inner city. The demons and a smaller team of soldiers would approach by ground, breaking down the barricades and cutting a path to the castle, led by Ketura. And finally, Jesmine and I would lead an army into the tunnels, heading directly for the castle itself—between the two of us, we knew Vincent’s secret routes through the city better than anyone.
With the sun gone, Sivrinaj had become a ghostly silver outline, ominously lit with the flaring white of Nightfire. Sivrinaj was not usually so bright, not even on festival nights. They knew we were coming, and they were preparing for us.