“I’ll take care of him,” Nathan said, “I promise.”
Later, Joe’s assistant did a double take when Nathan walked out of the elevator. He lifted the greasy food bag and pointed to Joe’s door. Once inside, he found Joe sitting behind his desk, staring out the window. The sound of the door made him start, swivel around, and reach for a file without looking up. “I said I’m busy, Carrie.”
“Doing what?” Nathan closed the door behind him. “Admiring the landscaping?”
Joe frowned. “What are you doing here?”
“Brought you lunch.”
“I don’t have time.” He stared at the bag. “Are those—”
“Fries from The Stand?” Nathan pulled out a tiny condiment container. “Yeah. Miguel sent extra sauce.”
Joe’s eyes sparkled like a kid on Christmas morning. He really needed to eat something besides juiced grass and tofu.
“Give it to me,” Joe said.
Nathan sat down but kept the food in his lap. “I have a question for you first.”
“Fuck you, I’m hungry.”
“Thought you were busy.”
“Don’t make me call security.” He reached for the phone for dramatic effect.
Nathan laughed. “So they can what? Shake me down for fries?”
Joe grunted and rocked back in his chair. “What’s the question.”
“What’s going on with you and Zara?”
Joe’s face fell. “Can I at least eat while I tell you?”
Nathan tossed Joe the bag and watched him pull out a tray of greasy fries. “You know they probably cook those in anim—”
“Shut up.” Joe dipped a fry into the sauce and closed his eyes as he took his first bite. “Do not ruin this for me.”
After a few more fries, Joe started talking. Zara was the one who had suggested separating, and Joe was half listening at the time, as always. To him, it wasn’t much different from their regular living arrangement. “With me at the office and her running around making movies, we barely saw each other. I thought she just wanted another condo, but she started seeing this other guy a few months later.” Joe sounded irritated, like his wife falling in love with someone else had screwed up his work calendar.
“I’m sorry, Joe,” Nathan said.
Finally, a streak of pain broke through Joe’s stoicism. “Yeah, it’s fucked. But I can’t change it.”
“Does Mom know you’re splitting up?”
“Do you see her twerking in the streets? No, she doesn’t know. And now she’s wrapped up in your art thing. It’s a good distraction.”
Nathan snatched a paperclip from his desk. He pried it apart while Joe finished his meal. “So, about that,” he said. “What makes you think I can do something this big without screwing it up?”
“I don’t know.” Joe rocked back in his chair. “I don’t have faith in much anymore. Maybe I need something to believe in. Even if it’s you and your blurry dragons.” He rolled his shoulder, as if he were trying to shake off the admission. Being raised by Beto made sentiment feel like a hazard.
“They’re not dragons.”
“Whatever. Get out of your head. Mom and Dad are proud. That art lady loves you. And Rachel Abbott does too, for some reason.” Joe narrowed his eyes. “Is that why you punked her husband?”
He should have known. Joe liked people to think he was constantly distracted, but he never missed anything that didn’t bore him. “He was being a jerk.”
“Right. But she’s also hot, so I understand the impulse to rescue.” Joe dug out another fry from the bag. “How did Abbott pull her anyway? He’s fucking stupid and his face looks like a potato.”
Nathan tried to sound bored with the conversation. “Are you interested in her or something?”
Joe snorted. “You mean am I a piece of shit? No. I don’t date married women. But I thought after she fought so hard for you, that you might have a crush.”
Nathan slumped lower and flattened his voice. “I just met her.”
Joe pointed at Nathan’s chest. “Sit up straight, man. Jesus. Your posture’s a power suit.”
Nathan didn’t respond with his usual “Okay, Dad.” That joke only worked when your real father wasn’t dying. Or when it didn’t feel vaguely true.
“Speaking of unlikely marriages, I could never figure out what Mom saw in Beto,” Nathan said. “He’s not exactly a good time.”
“Money.” Joe popped a tiny fry in his mouth and shook the bag, seeking more. “He was better looking back then too. More Diego Luna and less Gomez Addams.”
Nathan laughed and shook his head. “I don’t think it was only money. Mom’s not like that.”
“Not like what? Human?” Joe sighed. “They’re just people, Nate. You get that now, right?”
He thought he did. Or at least, he was starting to. It was getting more difficult to see Beto as an all-powerful malevolent force if he was being defeated by a few mutated cells. Joe had been saying for years that Nathan gave their father too much power over his life. Nathan used to think it was hypocritical, but now he realized that it was a warning. Joe had really been saying, Don’t be like me. I took these hits so you don’t have to.
Nathan sat up straighter in the chair. “Thank you. For believing in me.”
Joe cleared his throat and started shuffling papers on his desk. “It’s nothing,” he mumbled. “Now get out of here so I can get some work done.”
Nathan saw a picture on the wall on his way to the door. Joe was at the family lake house, beaming, holding up a tiny fish Angel had caught, while Zara leaned away with exaggerated disgust.
“Is it really over?” Nathan asked. “With Zara?”
Joe stared at the picture. “Yeah, it is.” He paused. “I always thought I’d be good at this family stuff. Because I wanted it so bad. But I don’t know. First Mia. Now this. Maybe it’s not my thing.”
His brother had nearly fooled him. Nathan had almost walked out of this office thinking that while Joe was stressed, he wasn’t on the verge of another breakdown. But Joe never mentioned Mia Williams. Not since she dumped him by leaving her engagement ring with his assistant, wrapped in a Post-it with a note written on the back: Tell Beto he wins.
Nathan still saw Mia regularly at the laundromat because she couldn’t afford to replace her washer and dryer. She would always bring something with her, like muffins from a new bakery or a book she’d been reading, and use it as an excuse to stay and talk. But he never told Joe about those conversations. Knowing that she’d stayed in Nathan’s life would break his brother’s heart all over again. After she ended things, Joe had barely spoken to anyone but his assistant for months. Beto had finally snapped him out of it by threatening to fire him. Nathan always wondered if things would have turned out differently if Joe had fought for Mia the way he had his job.
“Why don’t you ever fight for anything, Joe?” It slipped out before Nathan could stop it.
Joe was still staring at that photo. “I don’t know,” he said, and then looked at Nathan. “Why don’t you?”