I run a hand through my hair and down the rest of my current drink. “I need a fucking minute,” I mutter to anyone in earshot, knowing they won’t say a word. They’re here because of me. Perks of being the star.
A low chuckle hums across the room. They’re assuming I’ve got a hard-on that I need to calm down.
They can think whatever the fuck they want. It’s not like I’ve ever cared one way or another, and I sure as hell don’t now as I casually make my way toward the exit doors Bristol just pushed through.
McMann steps in my way. “Everything okay? Need me to take care of something for you?”
I hold up my cell. “Need to make a quick call.” It’s the only explanation I give.
“Not a problem,” he says as I move past him. “Oh, and if you need anything, I’ve assigned our junior associate Bristol to you. She can take care of whatever your needs happen to be.”
I’ve got a whole lot of needs when it comes to her, Xav. You might not want to say that.
“Ten-four,” I say and keep moving right on out the door.
CHAPTER FIVE
Vince
She’s standing a few feet to the left of the exit. Her back is to me with her arms crossed and shoulders hunched to ward off the cold night air.
Why is seeing her again fucking with my head? She was a lifetime ago. Done and over with.
Have I missed her? Christ, after I walked away the last time, she owned my mind right along with my breaking fucking heart. She’s the only thing I’ve ever loved other than music. I hated leaving her, but it was the right thing to do.
I get that she might still be mad at my chickenshit exit that morning, but this tension between us feels so wrong. So . . . off.
In the past, we’d see each other and the rights, wrongs, and everything in between would just evaporate into thin air until it left just us again. That had always been our M.O.
How do I get that back? How do I fix this?
Slow down, Vin. Your time here is limited. Don’t start what you can’t fucking finish.
“Bristol.”
“Please, Vince. Don’t do this right now.”
“Do what? Since when is talking a crime?”
Her shoulders slowly drop, and then she finally turns to look at me.
Fucking hell, she’s gorgeous.
The dark hair in waves down her back. The big, light brown eyes. The pouty, pink lips. The full curves of her body—that she always hated and felt judged for—underneath her black jeans and sweater.
She’s still stunning.
“This is not the time or place to rehash our past, okay? I need you to just get back to work.”
Beautiful and professional.
So why do her words feel like a punch to my gut?
“Sure. Fine. No rehashing. But can you at least explain why you’re angry at me?” When she just continues to stare at the ground, I take a step closer. “Talk to me, Shug.”
She grits her teeth and meets my eyes. “Look. You have a roomful of people in there waiting on you hand and foot,” she says, all business and completely ignoring my question. “You should get back to them.”
“According to what Xavier promised me, you’re supposed to be doing the same.”
I go for the wisecrack and only get her hands fisted at her sides in return. It used to be so easy to make her laugh. What am I missing here? Why is she so closed off?
“I don’t wait on anyone hand and foot.” There’s that fire of hers I used to love. “But as the person who’s been tasked with making sure you do what’s needed, I kindly request that we stop talking so you can get to work. I assure you that everyone inside would like to finish sooner rather than later so they can go home to their families before the sun rises.”
“Fine. I will. Right after this conversation.”
“Why even have it?”
“Because I’m more than certain it’s an important one.” I take a step closer and instinct, old memories, I don’t know what, has me trying to run my hands up and down her biceps to ward off the night’s chill. She takes a hasty step backward.
“I don’t bite.” My chuckle this time earns me an exasperated sigh.
“Vince, you can’t just walk in here and act like there is no past between us, but touch me like there is.”
“Then maybe we should talk about that past. You’re the one trying to ignore it.”
Her face pulls tight but her eyes relay that there’s so much more than her words are saying. “I can’t do a repeat of seven years ago where you play with me while you’re in town and then return back to your glamorous life without ever looking back.”
Um, wow. Okay. I sure as fuck wasn’t expecting that one.
“Play with you? That’s what you called what happened last time? Because from where I was standing, you were a more than willing participant.”
“Were. Past tense.” She gives a quick nod of her head. “Rest assured that won’t be happening again.”
“Who said I wanted it to?” My words are cruel but serve a purpose.
Her reaction is what I needed to see.
The wince in her expression. The flare of her nostrils. The grit of her teeth.
She’s bluffing. There’s still something there. Always has been. Good to see I’m not the only one who feels it.
And fuck me for still wanting it.
Then again, haven’t I always despite convincing myself otherwise?
“Keep thinking along those lines,” she says, her words betraying the look in her eyes. “There is no want on this end either.”
“So who is he then?”
Shock flashes through her eyes and lands like a punch to my gut. She’s with someone? Dating? Married?
Don’t ask questions you don’t want answers to, Vin.
My stomach churns at the thought as I glance at her finger, looking for a ring, but her hand is tucked under her other arm and I can’t see it.
“That’s rich. You thinking the only reason I don’t want anything to happen between us is because of another man. Maybe there is one. Maybe there isn’t. My life is none of your business.”
And why does not getting a concrete answer drive me mad?
“Fair,” I say and let a slow smile crawl on my lips. “But c’mon, it’s us we’re talking about.”
“There is no us, Vince.”
“And yet you still think about me.” C’mon. Smile for me, Shug. Once I get that, I know I’ll be able to get more out of you. Like why you seem so angry with me.
“Never. Rarely. It’s just . . .” She draws in a deep breath. “It’s not that easy anymore. Life’s not that easy.”
“It’s only hard if you make it that way.”
“Not all of us have choices like that.”
“What does that even mean? What happened that I don’t know about?” How about seven years’ worth of life, Vin? The look in her eyes says she’s thinking the same damn thing. I shove my hands in my pockets and rock on my heels. “So, how long ago did you make the move out here?”
She looks up at me from beneath her lashes almost as if she’s debating whether answering the question will be letting me in too much. The slightest nod of her head says she doesn’t think so. “A while ago.”
Not all of us have choices like that.
Her words hit my ears again and pique my curiosity. “Is that why you’re a junior associate for McMann?”
“Come again?”
Huh. Touchy subject. Maybe if I push enough of her buttons, I’ll sneak past that goddamn wall she’s put up and get a reaction out of her. A reaction that isn’t so measured and guarded. One that will give me a fucking clue into what she’s being so protective of.
“You said not all of us have choices like that. What did that mean? What happened? Is life being hard why the dreams you had are still just that, dreams?”
“Talking to me for ten minutes after seven years doesn’t give you the right to ask that question.”
“Maybe it doesn’t, but I’m confused why you’re with McMann in a job that’s way fucking beneath you.” Her wince is telling. I just wish I knew what it told. “Being a babysitter for spoiled assholes is overrated, Bristol.”