I can’t believe what I’m hearing. Esther faces me calmly, and shrugs at my expression.
“I’m just saying. I didn’t do it.”
It’s awful, but I don’t know if I believe her. Nor do I believe Tanya and Chloe, not after their discussion on whether we should just cover the whole thing up. My three oldest friends, and I don’t think I trust any of them.
“Does anyone remember anything about last night now?” I ask. “Does anyone know the last time they saw Poppy?”
As I say it, a memory comes back to me. The four of us, sitting around the fire pit, and Poppy returning from her walk. She’d been gone for hours. She told us something about sunbathing, but we ignored her and pretended she wasn’t there. And then she went inside the lodge, not turning to say good night. I think someone (Tanya?) shouted after her, calling her rude names. And we all laughed.
I tell the others what I remember, but I’m met with frowns.
“No, that wasn’t the last time,” Chloe says. “She came out again, remember? She stood on the decking and stared at us all.”
Did she? I try to think back, but come up blank.
The others are nodding though.
“Yes, it was odd,” Esther says. “Even considering everything that had gone down.”
“What about the rest of the night?” I say. “Like, when did we even go to bed? Did anyone hear anything?”
They shake their heads.
“I have no clue.” Esther folds her arms. “But I did wake . . .”
“Wake what?” I prompt, when she stops speaking.
“No, never mind.” She waves her hand at me. “I don’t know what I was going to say.”
“Do we really all not remember?” I’m suspicious, but I can’t help it. “All four of us got that drunk that we all blacked out and woke up none the wiser?”
“It is odd,” Tanya concedes.
“The gin,” Chloe says. “What if it was the gin?”
Esther frowns. “You think the gin was spiked or something?”
“Poppy didn’t drink any. It was all us. Our prize, remember?”
Shit. Realisation dawns on our faces.
“But why?” Tanya asks.
Oh, God. Thinking back, I remember it tasting a little bitter, us all complaining it wasn’t worthy of being called a prize. But we knocked it back, shot after shot, until the whole bottle was consumed. What if it was bitter because Poppy had put something in it?
“Poppy did say there was more to come,” Esther says. “Maybe she was planning on something today while we all felt this rough, or maybe she was going to do something when we were out of it last night.”
“Maybe she did,” Chloe says. “Maybe she started doing something, going into one of our rooms, and whoever it was caught her and—and killed her.”
We take this in with a beat of silence.
“No.” Tanya shakes her head. “Poppy was in her own room. Not one of ours. Someone had to have come in to find her deliberately.”
“Is it such a bad thing?”
None of us know how to take Chloe’s question.
She shrugs her shoulders at us. “I’m just saying. We all wanted her dead for what she did, didn’t we? We were all talking about getting revenge.”
“Maybe we all did it and we just don’t remember,” Tanya says.
“Is anyone actually sad that she’s dead?” Chloe says.
Jesus Christ. I’m already sick of the sight of Chloe’s face, and this just gives me another excuse to showcase my disgust. “It’s one thing to say we’re going to get revenge, another entirely to actually do it.”
“I’m not sad she’s dead,” Esther says. “If anything, we should be toasting to that. And whoever did it deserves a medal.”
God. This would be so much easier if I trusted them. But I don’t.
“Look, let’s just . . .” I look around the kitchen wildly, then come to a decision. “Let’s just take some time out, and we can calm down and figure this out later.”
Half of me expects them to argue with this, so I’m surprised when they just nod, accepting my judgement.
We start walking out of the main lodge, broken off into pairs: me and Esther, Tanya and Chloe. Esther’s breath is jagged, I can hear it walking next to her.
“You okay?” I murmur, then pull a face. “I know that’s a stupid question.”
She doesn’t look at me, but reaches for my arm and gives it a short squeeze. “This is mad, isn’t it?”
“Do you really think we should just be happy she’s gone?”
Esther leans closer, indicating her head behind us, where Tanya and Chloe have slowed their pace. Their heads are close together too, whispering away. “I can’t believe those two wanted to cover it up. That’s suspicious, isn’t it?”
I can already sense the battle lines being drawn, us versus them.
“Maybe they were just . . . looking out for us.”
Esther snorts at that. “Maybe we should go along with what they’re suggesting, is all I’m saying. And then figure out what to do from there.”
We reach the lawn, the main lodge looming behind us. The scene no longer looks picturesque, postcard material. Remnants of our previous nights are scattered about, deflated balloons and even a puddle of sick on the decking. The banner congratulating Poppy hangs limply, one side fallen. Nothing about this place screams a celebration has taken place. If anything, the landscape seems to know, despite the scorching paradise weather, that something awful has happened. Everything looks too bright, too colourful, a sickly masquerade of a good time.
Esther wraps an arm around my waist as we survey the scene, putting her mouth to my ear. “Remember, you owe me, Annabel. Don’t go getting any stupid ideas.”
Fear grips me. “That has nothing to do with this.”
“Even so.” Esther releases me and tries to smile, but it twitches at the edges and I can see how nervous she is. “Me and you need to stick together, if this all starts going wrong.”
“It’s already going wrong.” But Tanya and Chloe have caught up to us now, and Esther starts backing away.
“I’m going to go for a run,” she says. “I can’t think like this.”
“I need to have a shower,” I say, pressing my hand to my forehead and feeling nothing but sweat. “I’ll be ten minutes.”
Tanya and Chloe head for the decking area outside, but look uncertain of each other. The main lodge remains an uncomfortable presence. That closed door, the knowledge of what is behind it, will remain at the forefront of our minds.
After I’m done showering, I head back. Tanya and Chloe have set up at the dining table outside. Rather than sit opposite one another, they’re sitting together in deep conversation.
I know I shouldn’t. There have been enough secrets, and I’m not innocent. But I stay where I am, hidden in the shadows of the trees on the path, and listen to what they’re saying.
“It could very well be,” Tanya says. She’s calmer now.
I’m still in shock that she’s been on drugs the past two years. So many revelations, so many things I didn’t know.
But it shows she can keep a hell of a secret.
Chloe is more panicked. She looks behind and for a second I think she sees me and I freeze, but then she turns around and carries on. “It’s the only way.”
“Don’t worry. We’ll stick together.”
It’s so similar to what Esther said to me.
We are drawing lines in the sand, making alliances.
“Hey both of you!” I call, making my presence known.
They break apart, guilty expressions on their faces.
If it weren’t for Poppy revealing what a conniving bitch Chloe was, maybe I’d be leading the celebrations. We’d toast to her death, confess who did it, and make a plan to turn her death into an accident, a mysterious disappearance. We’d cover for each other and live happily ever after.
But I can’t do that.
It doesn’t matter, I want to tell them. Make your alliance.
I don’t trust any of you.
Twenty-One
Chloe
May 21, 2023
Look, when it comes down to it, Poppy deserved it.
Deserved to die such a bloody, brutal death? No, maybe not quite to that extent. I’m not a monster, for Christ’s sake. But after everything she did, I mean she should have seen it coming. Talk about putting yourself in danger. And now here Poppy is, turned up dead. It could be any one of us. We all had our reasons.
I can’t believe we haven’t all agreed to just cover it up. Is that really so bad? Who really cares about Poppy, especially after what she did to us all? But no, she had to go and reveal that Andrew cheated with me. And then Esther had to go and blab that she’s the one who turned Tanya in and left her without work for months on end. So Annabel hates me and Tanya hates Esther. The four of us aren’t going to work as a team.