“Weird.”
I scrub at my eyes. "Yeah, it is. At first, I thought he was banging some buckle bunny, but I know that he wouldn’t, so that fear has morphed into there being something really, really wrong. Like a car accident or something. I even googled to see if there are any active serial killers in Billings.”
Summer covers her mouth, pretending to conceal a yawn, but I know it was a laugh. “There isn’t a chance in the world that man so much as looked at a buckle bunny. Are you really oblivious to how gone he is for you?”
“I see it, but I don’t trust it. It feels too . . . perfect. Any time something feels perfect, it blows up in my face. A sister. A husband. A baby.” I drop my head back and close my eyes. “I don’t want Theo to blow up. I’ll never recover.”
“Ma.” Vivi reaches for me, and I take her. The squishy feel of her in my arms never fails to comfort me.
“I’ll call Rhett and see—”
“Yeah, could you call Rhett and ask him which hotel and room?”
“What?”
“Right after I looked up serial killers, I booked an eight a.m. flight to Billings so I could ream Theo out in person. Because over the phone just isn’t going to cut it after this shit.”
Summer’s eyes widen, but she recovers quickly. “Alright, I’ll pawn my clients off for the morning and drive you to the airport.”
Theo never backed down when I snarled at him.
And now I’m going to return the favor.
Because he and I? We’re more.
39
Theo
Rhett: You alive?
Theo: Yeah. Why?
Rhett: It’s been nice knowing you.
Theo: What’s that supposed to mean?
I’m pacing my room, phone in my hand, practicing what I’m going to say when I call Winter. Sorry won’t cut it, so I need to figure out how I can apologize for the way I doubted her.
Because I didn’t just toss out a question about the paternity. I questioned her integrity. And that is one thing I’ve never doubted about Winter, no matter how prickly or unapproachable she was.
A knock at my door startles me, and it must be Rhett. He’s probably gotten an earful from his wife by now. I bet he’s coming to knock some sense into me.
“What?” I growl as I fling the hotel room door open. The entire world stills around me and I stop in my tracks.
Winter is standing in the hallway, with a duffel bag slung over her shoulder, eyes narrowed like she might strangle me with her gaze alone.
In contrast, Vivi is smiling at me from her stroller, Peter’s rubber chicken in her hand.
And when I look lower, Peter is attached to the end of a leash, trembling, like always.
“Da!” My head snaps back to Vivi, who is pointing at me. “Dadadadada.”
“Did she just say ‘dad’?”
Winter’s hip cocks out, her pearly-white fingernails tapping on her bicep. “She did, Theo. She said it last night for the first time when she saw you on the TV. And when I tried to call you and tell you about it, do you know what happened?”
I swallow, but it doesn’t help the lump of dread forming in my throat. It feels stuck there, like it’s growing the longer I stand here putting things together.
“It went straight to fucking voicemail, Theo. All. Night. Long.” Her lips thin as she sucks in a deep breath through her nostrils. She reminds me of a dragon.
“Is that why you’re here?”
“No, I’m here because I wanted to kick your ass in person. I haven’t slept because I stayed up all night worrying about you, your stupid handsome face, and your big, talented dick.” One hand waves over the length of my body. “And just your stupid general wellbeing because you fucking consume me.”
My stomach sinks, but I’m frozen in place, hand gripping the door. “Winter, come in.”
“No.”
“You came all the way here, and you’re not going to come in?”
“I came here to see that you were in one piece and alone. And I have seen it.”
Alone. Fuck. My fingers itch to grab her and yank her in here with me.
“Why did you bring Peter?”
“Because he’s part of our family, no matter how much he reminds me of the weird squirrel from Ice Age. And I like it when he sleeps between my feet, so he’s stuck with me now. Just like you.”
“The squirrel from Ice Age?”
“Tell me why your phone went straight to voicemail.”
I swipe a hand through my hair and blow out a breath. “I had a moment, okay? A weak, petty, insecure one. I needed a pity party. You said you didn’t need me. Everyone else was blowing me up. It didn’t feel like I could fix anything, and all I did was make things worse. And I knew you were angry at me, so I figured I’d shut it down for the night.”
“You don’t get to shut it down for a night, Theo!” she shouts. “You got to ditch your phone once before and that really fucking sucked for me. I should have showed up then and demanded you pay attention to me. But I didn’t. So I’m here now, demanding you pay attention to me.”
“Winter, I am so fucking sorry.”
“There are people who need you now. We’re stronger than this. And yeah, I was angry with you. That was a dumb thing to say. But guess what? I’m going to get mad at you from time to time. People who are together get mad at each other. They say shitty things they regret. It’s normal. Being happy-go-lucky Theo, who ticks no one off and never has a bad day, is not normal. You’re allowed to freak out.” She pauses, breathing heavily. “But you have to freak out with me.”
My nose burns. Even Vivi looks serious now.
“I’m sorry.” My voice cracks when I drop my head.
“You have to freak out with me because I need you. And I love you. I love you so much it paralyzes me to think of carrying on without you. You’re not allowed to shut me out. Because you made me need you, and now you have to deal with the consequences.”
I don’t ignore the ache in my hands this time. I reach for the woman standing across from me and crush her to my chest. A surprised yelp leaves her mouth at how quickly I move, but she doesn’t resist. My arms wrap around her tiny frame, and I suck in a deep inhale of her warm cinnamon sugar scent as I cradle her head against my heart and close my eyes, sinking into her.
“I’m really mad at you, Theo.”
“Understandable.” I glance down at the stroller beside us. Vivi’s wide dark eyes gaze up at me. “I’m mad at me too.”
“Really, really fucking mad,” she amends.
I dust my lips back and forth over her hair. “But you love me?”
She doesn’t hesitate. “So much it hurts.”
I squeeze her tighter, soaking up how well she fits against me. Warm and soft. “Welcome to the club, Tink.”
She tips her head back and holds my gaze. Although she looks tired, her eyes are sparking like they were the first time she tore a strip off me. “I love you.” She says the words again like they’re unfamiliar in her mouth, like she’s getting used to how they feel on her lips. Like it’s a new language to her entirely.
My hands comb through the warm golden strands of her hair. “I love you too. Now would you come in here so we can all be together while you’re being really, really fucking mad at me and I freak out because I love you and want to kill your ex?”
She pulls away and dusts off her perfectly clean clothes. “Yeah. That sounds perfect.”
I glance down at Peter, who is now sitting and shaking. “I don’t think this is a dog-friendly hotel.”
Winter scoffs. “He’s barely a dog, more like a rat or a squirrel.” She pushes past me. Bag. Stroller. Baby. Dog.
My entire life in one room. And she’s right. I’m still freaking out.
But somehow, I feel better with them here.
“No sluts in here, right?” she quips, glancing around the room, looking for evidence of something I would never, ever do to her.
“Only one,” I reply as I hug her from behind and rub my stubble over her cheek.
And Winter Hamilton rolling her eyes at me has never felt so good.
“Okay, Theo.” Rhett snaps his fingers in front of my face while we sit atop the fence.
I should be listening. I should be watching. I should have my head in the game.
Except my girls are in the stands.
The one who has been saying the same syllables over and over again all day. And the one who napped in my bed and scowled at me the minute I came back to my room with Peter and Vivi in hand.
“Still mad at me?” I asked.
“No, I’m mad at myself.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m supposed to be mad at you, but watching you roll around with a toddler and a chihuahua makes me want to . . .” She wobbled her head and rolled her hand around as a way of explanation.
“Drop to your knees and put that snarky mouth to good use?”
She glared, but her lips twitched. The tiniest twitch. “Never mind. I’m still mad at you.”
But now she’s in the stands, holding our daughter. And wearing a pair of cowboy boots with an ornate steel toe, tight fucking jeans, and a tank top that does nothing but show off her breasts. I swear there’s oil on them, judging by the way the lights reflect off the round tops.
“Dude, wake the fuck up. Get your head in the game.” Rhett pokes me in the ribs and I recoil.