“That won’t happen again for some time,” Zyion stated, his eyes holding mine. Tipping my head, I silently thanked him.
“I will employ a shield, one created from magic. Once it’s placed, they’ll know we’re there. I should have just enough time to put it up, then call up the dead army. Everyone else will spread out within them. They won’t attack, nor will they fight during this battle. I have something else planned for them. The moment that they’ve finished with their purpose, I’ll begin destroying her grids. There’s one beneath the ground of the courtyard. That’s her main source of power. A smaller one lies at the fork of the river. Soraya, you’ll be disturbing it first. Then you’ll reach for my magic. I will connect, you’ll have less than five minutes to pass through a portal after connecting me with the grid. I’ll then destroy it and move to the one Esmeralda will be disrupting.”
“All we have to do is reach for you once it’s been disabled, then leave?” Soraya asked carefully.
“Yes, because I’m not merely disrupting it this time. I’m destroying it so that she no longer has use of her intricate web of stored magic. I don’t want to just hurt her. This time it’s personal to me. She went after Lore, who was used against Knox, who she then sicced on me. She hit us hard and she hit us where it hurt.”
Agreement went up around the table, which was sad. Considering she’d brought us down so low, and so effortlessly, was honestly terrifying. I wanted to make sure she didn’t try it again anytime soon. Inhaling a soothing breath at what I was about to admit, I let it out slowly.
“I want to bring down the entire citadel.”
All eyes swung to me, some with worry, some with wariness, but none with pride. Chances are, there were people inside who weren’t filled with darkness. There could be some inside who weren’t fully dark, as well. But if I intended to fight against a monster, then I had to become one.
“I know,” I whispered. “I know what you’re thinking, but if we do this, we have to be as cruelly savage as she is. We can continue fighting against her while holding the idea that we’re the good guys. But Knox once asked if war made monsters, or if they were born. I now know the answer. War creates them because, in order to rise from the ashes, we have to die first. It wasn’t about us at all, it was about what war creates out of pain. He also told me that this world needs a villain more than it does a hero. Do you want to throw a couple of soft hits, or do you want to fuck this bitch in her ass so hard that she can’t sit without feeling us in her guts?”
“Dayum,” Lore whispered and then smiled brightly. “I choose option two.”
“Same,” Killian concurred. The moment he did, the entire table slowly, begrudgingly agreed.
“What if there are children in there?” Esmeralda asked.
My eyes closed as I felt my stomach churning. “Then they die. I can’t separate a few to take out the many. If they’re in there, then she’s either already used them or she intends to. In short, they’re someone else’s death. I don’t want to murder children, but taking her down even for a little while saves many more. Their lives or the lives of the others. We can’t be judge, jury and executioner. We have to pick one.”
“Aria,” she whispered, her eyes rounding. “This is fucked up.”
“Life is fucked up, Esme. I wish I’d listened to him. To Knox, when he told me no matter how I tried, that I couldn’t save them all. I can’t be the girl who rushes in to save them, and the one who destroys the evil in this world. I learned that lesson already. But right now? If we don’t hit the bitch right where it hurts, she’s coming here to hit us. So, you pick. Pick which one we do. Who lives and who dies?”
“I can’t choose who lives and dies,” she gasped, horrified that I’d told her to do so.
“I know you can’t. That’s why I did. I am choosing to turn unimaginable pain into power. Right now, I’m choosing to hit her hard enough that she has to recover from what she’s done. I told you that it isn’t what we would do to win. We’re going to do whatever it takes, and we’re going to show her that she can no longer hide behind the innocence of others.”
“May the gods have mercy on your enemies,” she stated, shaking her head. “I get it, I do. But if you cross this bridge, where does it stop? What separates you from her?”
“I don’t want them to suffer, she does. I want to free them from oppression. To have a chance at life without being amidst a never-ending war. One they didn’t ask for. In order to do so, I may end up carrying their deaths with me. If I have to pay that price, I will. I’m not asking you—not any of you—to kill someone. I’m fine being the villain. Right now, this world needs the monster, not the soft, caring girl I was.”
“Okay. I just needed to hear you say it, Aria. I know you don’t wish to kill them, which is the difference. But I needed to know if you realized the price.”
“I’m always the price I pay when I unleash the magic inside of me onto a keep. Knox taught me that lesson as well. I unleashed my grief, but that isn’t what this is. It’s a hit to prevent Hecate from coming here to hit us when we’re down. So, we’ll turn our pain into power, strike her hard and fast. Everyone should rest. Tomorrow is going to be a long one.”
Chapter Thirty-Six
Aria
I sat beside Knox, allowing myself a moment to imagine a world without him. There was no future I could see myself living, not without him there with me. It was a weakness. One I’d allowed to grip my heart harder than I’d ever imagined it could. Love was fucked up that way. I’d always preferred the antihero, knowing he’d burn the world down to be with me. But I’d never understood how divinely violent I’d become to protect him, either. That I’d willingly turn into the monster the world feared to keep him safe.
I’d walked through hell to save him, even if I’d pulled out his body. Would I kill innocent lives to protect him? No, not if it was only for him. That was a bridge he wouldn’t want me to cross. But if I didn’t get him back, Hecate would double-down. The army of dark witches she’d gathered would come here, and it would kill many more innocent lives. Standing up, I walked over to where he was suspended in the glowing light of the land.
“If you’re in there, I’m going to need you to let me in. Either way, I’m coming inside that head of yours.” Turning, I found Esme standing behind me.
“You know that’s dangerous. I don’t even need to say that, right?” she asked.