“He’s perfect for you,” she counters. “You need centered and uncomplicated. Does he call you out on your crap?”
“Yes. All the freaking time. It’s like I can’t get anything past him.”
Her smile widens. “Good. Is the sex any good?”
I glance up, letting her read my expression, and her smile turns into a laugh. Pretty soon we’re both laughing, holding our sides with tears in our eyes.
“Oh, you are in so much trouble,” she says with a slow shake of her head. “These Rays are something else, huh?”
“Says the woman who snagged not one but three,” I reply.
“Right?” She laughs. “You’re talking to the expert.”
“So, what do I do, oh wise one?” I tease. “Teach me the ways of the Rays Whisperer.”
She’s somber for a minute, her smile falling as her tone turns serious. “Don’t worry about Ryan or who you think he wants you to be. If you want to be fun Tess again, be her for yourself. Dance in your underwear, eat whipped cream from the can. Wild Tess is yours before she belongs to anyone else.”
Her words coil deep in my heart, settling in my soul. Wild Tess is mine. Wild Tess is me.
54
Jake and Caleb got a ride home with Doc from the practice arena, meaning I’m alone in the truck with Mars as he drives me back to the bungalow. I’ve never been alone with Mars before. It’s weird. What do you say to a guy who doesn’t talk? I sit in the passenger seat, gazing out the window as the palm trees pass by overhead.
“So uhh…how do you like living in Florida,” I say, trying to break the silence.
“It’s too hot,” he replies, his eyes locked on the road.
“Yeah, it’s hot near the equator,” I mumble, feeling like an epic douche. “I mean, not that we’re that close to the equator here. But like, closer than Finland or—”
“Langley?”
“Hmm?” I say, glancing over at him.
“You don’t have to fill the silence.”
“The awkward silence,” I say under my breath.
“Silence doesn’t have to be awkward. You Americans all think all silence must be an awkward silence. But two people can sit, not speaking, and simply enjoy each other’s company.”
I raise a brow at him. “You enjoy my company?”
He just shrugs, still not looking at me.
“That’s glowing praise coming from you,” I say with a smirk. “You’re gonna make me blush over here.”
The corner of his mouth tips up and, goddamn it, I feel like a puppy wagging his tail. I don’t know why I so desperately want his validation, but I do.
“So, is that what you and Jake do together?” I tease. “You’re telling me you sit in silence with him? That’s like, a thing he does?”
“I don’t discuss my partners or our life together,” he replies.
Well, shit. Now I feel like a puppy who’s just been wapped on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.
“I know people are curious about us,” he says more gently. “But there’s no reason to be. We’re just four people living our lives. We’ve chosen to live them together. Who we are to each other, and how we live, is no one’s business but our own.”
“Well, and Tess’s,” I tease. “Seeing as you entertain her in your bed. What’s the deal with you two?” I add, glancing his way again.
That earns me a glance back. “Who?”
“You and Tess. Is it a friends thing? A coworkers thing?”
His mouth sets in a firm line. “Are you threatened by me, Langley?”
It’s my turn to shrug. “I think any man with two cents worth of sense would feel threatened by you—as an athlete, as a man, likely as a lover. I’ve seen the heat you pack,” I add. “I bet you keep your partners well satisfied.”
“I’ve heard no complaints,” he replies.
“And Tess?” I say again.
“She is my wife’s closest friend, which must make her my friend. I will care for her and protect her as I would Rachel.”
“But you don’t…with Tess, you’ve never…”
“The only woman I have been with in the last four years is my wife,” he admits.
“But…you’ve only been with Doc for like half a year,” I reply. “So, you—oooh,” I say, eyes wide. “You were celibate for three freaking years? How…why? Mars, you could have anyone you want. You’re like Jason Momoa-level hot. You could literally have anyone.”
“I’m picky,” he says with a shrug.
His confession doesn’t surprise me. “Yeah, I am too, actually,” I admit. “How did you know Doc was the one?”
He turns, glaring at me. “Did I not just say I don’t discuss my partners? I spoke English, yes?”
I huff. “Jeez, it was just a question. Could you not just person with me for like three minutes? I promise, I’ll jump out while the truck is still moving if it’ll make you feel better.”
Then he shocks the hell out of me by laughing. It’s deep and baritone, coming from his chest. His shoulders shake with it.
“What’s so funny?” I say, eyes wide.
“Rakas said something similar to me once,” he says. “On the plane. She threatened to jump out the side without a parachute.”
I smirk. I can practically hear Doc’s voice saying the words. “So, how did you know she’s the one?” I ask again.
He considers for a moment. “It was her eyes,” he says at last. “She doesn’t look, she sees. From the first moment we met, she saw me. She saw what I was hiding, she saw what I needed. She sees me.”
I nod, my mind wandering to Tess. I think of the way she is when all her defenses are down—when she’s naked in my arms, or right on the edge of sleep. I think of our natural give and take, the easy flow of our conversations, the comfort of our silences.
“How did you know Tess was the one?” he asks, breaking my concentration.
I go still, heart racing. “Umm…I don’t—I never said—”
“Relax,” he says with a soft chuckle. “She’s not here, Langley. It’s just me.”
“What makes you think I think she’s the one?” I parry, glancing his way.
He glares at me. “Just answer the question.”
He already knows half my secrets, why not know this one too? “It was her laugh,” I admit. “That’s what hooked me at first. And then I saw her face, and I watched the sound come out of her mouth. She was standing in the surf, the ocean a bright blue behind her. She wore those big sunglasses and the red bikini…” I sigh, rubbing my chest. “She laughs with her whole body.”
“I’ve noticed,” Mars replies.
“She doesn’t laugh enough,” I add.
“Then you must give her more reasons to do so,” he replies, his tone solemn.
He makes the last turn onto Harbor Way, stopping outside the drive for unit 1006. His unit. I’m squatting in his house, and I never even asked.
“Hey man, about the house,” I say, unbuckling my seatbelt and turning his way.
“Don’t,” he says, raising a hand.
“But I never asked you—”
“Stay as long as you need,” he replies. “Stay for Tess. Stay for yourself. Go make her laugh.”
I narrow my eyes at him. “Why are you so okay with all this? Barely a week ago, you were warning me away from her. Now, you’re telling me I can keep crashing in your pad and chasing after her. Why?”
He jerks the truck into park and glances my way. “Because life is short, Ryan. Life is beautiful and short, and you only get one. Live it on purpose.”
I make my way into the bungalow through the unlocked front door, and I’m instantly greeted by the sound of the blasting sound system. Dua Lipa’s “Pretty Please” is playing, and I can’t contain my smile.
“Hey,” I call out, slipping my shoes off. “Tess?”
At that moment, the blender strikes up, adding to the chaos. I step around the corner and stop, heart swelling tight in my chest. Tess is wearing a pair of cheeky black undies and a baby pink bra, her hair down. Those auburn curls bounce around her shoulders as she dances to the beat, hips swaying. She’s got a wine glass full of crushed ice in one hand, the finger of her other hand pulsing the blender in time with the music.