Will tilts his head. “Trick question. Because you want to be asked where you want to go for a first date.” He steps even closer and brushes his fingers against mine. Like his body is pleading with mine for something. “And the problem with your failed date a few weeks ago wasn’t because you were boring either. It’s because you were bored, Annie. You want someone exciting and passionate and—”
“Someone like you?” I say in a sharp sarcastic tone. I threw that comment out on purpose and it hit a bull’s-eye. Will’s face falls and I give one short sad laugh. “What was the purpose of that speech, if not to get in my head? Which really isn’t fair, Will, because last I checked, we were never an option. Did we not just lay everything out on the table this morning?”
He rubs the back of his neck and emotionally retreats. “You’re right.”
“And nothing has changed for you in the last four hours, has it? You’re still leaving town after the wedding?”
He nods silently.
“Nothing has changed for me either. So please leave. Because although I know you mean well, this isn’t helping at all. And frankly, it wasn’t fair of you to show up here like this.”
Will doesn’t skulk off or pout like a man-child.
My breath catches when he steps forward, a blazing look in his eyes as he clasps my hands. “I’m sorry. You’re totally right. I really didn’t mean to mess this up for you today, I swear. I just wanted to…I don’t know, make sure you were safe. Taken care of. And then I heard that guy already slicing away at the things you’ve been telling me you wanted to do—and when I thought of you having to sacrifice all of that…I couldn’t handle it. I know your goal is to get married, but…” He lets go of my hands to cup my face. “Please just promise me you’ll marry someone who sees you and loves you and who makes you excited and happy—not just someone who looks right on paper.”
You. I want you, Will.
“I promise,” I say softly, resisting tears with every fiber of my being. “You have to go now. And I’m going to give Brandon more than a ten-minute shot because maybe he has some adventure under all that beard hair.”
Will winces like I punched him in the stomach. “You just had to mention the beard hair.” His wince slowly unfolds into a smile that twists my heart into taffy. He then casts one tortured look at my mouth before stepping away. “I’ll head out now.”
“Thank you. And take Joe with you.”
When I go back to the stands, Will and Amelia are gone. I hand Brandon one of the waters I purchased at the concession stand, but hold on to the small box of popcorn. He smiles kindly and thanks me. I can’t help but notice that he doesn’t have a dangerous black rim around his irises.
“So…did your friends finally leave?” he says as I sit down beside him.
I snap my eyes to him. “You knew the whole time?”
He laughs. “Absolutely. And that dude is in love with you, right?”
I breathe in and decide to stop playing games with myself and be nothing but honest. “Yeah, I think he might be.”
“What’s the deal there, then?”
I stare down into my popcorn. “We’re both scared of different things.”
“Been there,” he says, in a thoughtful tone of voice that clearly has a story behind it. A story I’ll never know because Brandon is not the man for me.
“Um, so Brandon, I don’t think…” I pause to find the right words. Unfortunately, no inspiration hits.
He laughs and saves me. “It’s okay, Annie. I’m not quite feeling a connection either if that’s what you were going to say.”
My shoulders slump with relief. “Oh good. I was worried I was going to hurt your feelings. Friends?”
“I think it’s for the best. You want me to drive you home now?”
I look down at the water and popcorn and then at the baseball game. “Actually, if you’re not eager to get rid of me, I think it would be fun to stay and hang out.”
He smiles. “Absolutely.”
And that—John—is how you tactfully end a bad date.
* * *
—
Later that night, I lie in bed restless and unable to sleep from unending questions somersaulting through my head. So I text the one person who has become my absolute safe place. “I can’t sleep. Come over?”
Ten minutes later, even though it’s against his rules, Will is slipping into my bed and wrapping his arms around me. He kisses my neck and my jaw and my temple and then with his arms around me, I fall asleep with my finger tracing the raised lines of his butterfly tattoo—scared of the day when I call and he’s too far away.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Will
I rip a clump of weeds out of the front beds of Mabel’s Inn. I don’t fully know why I’m out here—at six a.m. no less. I just know that I woke up in Annie’s bed at four thirty this morning after promising myself I wouldn’t sleep over there again, and then immediately got up and went for a run to clear my head. I jogged through town to make sure everything looked safe (apparently, I’ve designated myself the town vigilante), and before going back up to my room, I noticed that Mabel’s flower beds were overrun with weeds. So here I am. Hands and knees, ripping clumps from her garden like they cheated on me and I need vengeance.
But really, I am desperately trying to keep my mind from thinking about Annie. I can’t figure out how to shut these feelings down. I’ve never had anyone stuck in my head like this before. When I close my eyes, I see her face. I hold her in my dreams, and I hear her voice in my ear when I’m waking up. I imagine leaving her after the wedding and my fists ball up.
I rub my chest.
It’s time to talk to someone. Shifting from my knees, I sit in the grass and scrape my hands through my hair wishing I could scrape these thoughts out too.
Before I talk myself out of it, I pull out my cell phone. Miraculously, I have service right here in the dirt of Mabel’s garden. I press the contact name open on my screen.
He answers on the second ring. “Will? What’s wrong?”
“Why do you automatically think something is wrong? Can’t I call my brother for no reason?”
“Not at six a.m. you can’t. And not after ghosting me for several weeks.” I hear the shuffling of covers and a female voice ask who’s on the phone. Hannah. Of course she’d be in bed with him. They’re a couple, and couples sleep together. All night. Side by side.
My mind flashes once again to Annie—the way she looked waking up on my chest yesterday morning. I think of her soft blue eyes flashing up at me under her thick dark lashes and the curve of her smile. And suddenly I think of seeing that every day for the rest of my life, and that painful tug in my chest happens again.
Ethan whispers to Hannah that he’ll be right back, and then I hear a door shutting softly. “Okay, what’s going on? You’ve been dodging all of my calls and texts for weeks, and now you’re calling at the crack of dawn?”
“Hardly the crack of dawn. Some of us live a whole life before six a.m.”
“I’m not one of them. I haven’t had coffee yet, and I feel like shit before seven, so you better have an amazing reason for needing me this early.”
“I’m sorry,” I say, and my words are followed by a thick pause. “Not for calling early. I mean, I guess I’m sorry for that too. Or, no I’m not. You should wake up earlier. It’s good for you.” I clear my throat when I realize I’m nervously rambling. “I’m sorry for not supporting you, and for generally being an asshole about the engagement. I was never truly upset with you for proposing. I think I was just jealous and bitter that you were able to when I wasn’t. And honestly, I didn’t understand before…about you and Hannah.”
“But you do now?”
“Support you guys? Yeah, I—”
“No,” he says, quickly. “You said you didn’t understand before. But you do now?”
Damn. I walked right into that one.