I nod silently.
“Great,” he whispers and then releases my hands. My arms fall limply at my sides because I am a sack of Jell-O at this point. Will, however, is completely unaffected and goes back to the couch. “Come sit down so we can talk about the lesson plan.”
For a moment I can’t do anything but stand here and lean against the door. My insides are blazing. My stomach is all twisted and bunched, and I feel absurdly let down that he’s over there and I’m over here.
“H-how did you do that?” I say, finally finding my voice as my feet carry me in a daze back to the couch. My brain isn’t working right yet, so instead of sitting, I stand here like a robot waiting for its next command.
Will grins and hooks a finger in the baggy back pocket of my shorts and tugs me down to the couch. I sit, wide-eyed.
“Confidence,” he says, picking up his laptop and opening it.
I lean over and shut it again.
He chuckles.
“But how?! What if you don’t feel confident?” I’m not sure I’ve ever felt confident a day in my life.
“You fake it, Annie.”
“No way.” I shake my head in disbelief. “You don’t fake that kind of confidence. All of that…” I circle my finger toward the door where the ghost of Annie who had never been seductively entranced by Will Griffin still lives, “…was natural for you.”
He grins. “Not true. I was nervous.”
I take in his pirate eyes with the dangerous black rim around his irises, the tattoos wrapping down his arm with the masculine veins that universally turn everyone on, and last but not least, the rebellious wave of hair that flops down above his brow every time he rakes his hand through it. “I don’t believe you for a second.”
Will’s eyes narrow on my face, jaws clenching as he debates something. And then Will raises his hand level between us. That’s when I see it. His hand, that beautiful, strong, inked hand, is trembling. Will Griffin is shaking from touching me.
“If I waited until I felt confident to live my life and do the things I want to do, I’d never live.” He stares into my eyes. “This lesson is one as old as time: Fake it till you make it. If you want something, pretend you’re the kind of person who’s not scared of it.”
I let out a huh sound as I sink back against the couch. “You do that?”
“All the time,” he says, still looking at me. “You should have seen me the first time I went skydiving. I actually thought I was going to shit my pants on the plane.” We both laugh. “But I told myself I was Tom Cruise at that moment and somehow it worked. Ended up being one of the most fun things I’ve ever done.”
I’m mesmerized by him. I pull my legs up onto the cushion, fully facing him. “You seem like a thrill seeker.”
He smiles. “I absolutely am. It’s addicting.”
“Were you that way as a kid too?”
Will looks away. “You mean when I dropped out of elementary school and joined the circus to work as a lion tamer? Definitely…”
Okay, that’s the second time he’s deflected a question regarding his childhood. Apparently, that means any conversation surrounding his adolescence is off the table. Interesting.
“What other adventurous things have you done?”
He takes in a deep breath, his chest expanding under his soft T-shirt. Oddly, my brain nose-dives to how nice it would feel to sink onto him and rest right there—in the crook of his shoulder. To have his arms encircle me and just hold me.
“Let’s see…during Amelia’s last world tour, I went ATV riding on the Atlantis Trail in South Africa. I’m scuba certified and have gone diving in a lot of places—but I think Mexico was my favorite. And hiking in Red Rock was awesome.”
“That’s a lot of ing words,” I say, suddenly realizing how little I’ve done in comparison to him. Once again, Will unhelpfully reads my face. He knocks his knuckles against my knee.
“There’s still time for you to do anything you want to do.”
I shrug. “I don’t think adventure is the life for me. Anyone who knows me will attest that I’m more built for a steady, safe routine. My dream is to get married to a nice man and have babies whom I can eventually pass down my flower shop to. Soccer games on the weekend and harvest parties in the fall. And all of it taking place right here in Rome. That’s my future.”
He holds my gaze and smiles softly. “Hmm.”
“What?”
He tips his head to the side. “It’s just that I’m not totally sure what you said is true.”
“It is,” I say, feeling a frown between my brows.
“Okay.”
“Really!” My voice is an octave higher than usual. “That’s what I want.”
He tips a brow, looks down, and opens his laptop. “If you say so. Now, for these lessons. Do you want to—”
I slam the laptop shut. “You really don’t believe me?”
The challenge in his smiling gaze cuts directly to mine. “No. I really don’t.”
“Why not?”
Will’s eyes feel like a caress on my face. “Because you told me not to call you Angel Annie. Because you wrestled me in your shop and then masterfully maneuvered me into being your dating coach. Because you read books about women who are pulled from their average lives and thrust into huge adventures where they thrive and find passion. Because even though you say you were relieved when you realized I lived in this old lady’s room, I could see the disappointment in your eyes.” His gaze drops to my lips, holds for two seconds, and comes back up again. “It seems to me, Annie, that you are just waiting for someone to give you permission to be yourself out loud.”
My heart trips over his words. I stay quiet. I wasn’t disappointed at the sight of his room—I was relieved. Right? Sure, I’ve had a crush on Will this whole time, but it’s not like I’m harboring any secret ambitions to be anything more than friends with him.
No, none of what he said was true. It can’t be true—because if so, then this void I’m feeling is not going to go away with the future I described to him. It’s going to get worse. And with Grandma’s health failing and so much change already happening all at once to Noah with his wedding, my family won’t be able to handle Annie having an early life crisis on top of it.
So I’m going to put his words out of my head and not dwell on them. All I need are these dating lessons so I can snag myself a husband and get married and live happily ever after just like my mom and dad. That’s it.
I look down when I feel Will’s hand gently splay across my knee. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“You didn’t,” I say quickly, swallowing my feelings and looking up at him with the best smile I can muster. He nods slowly and turns his eyes to his laptop, opening it once again. This time I let him.
Without looking at me, he adds, “Tell you what, Annie. We’ll get you your committed relationship and your white picket fence, and if for some reason it doesn’t feel right and you want that adventure after all—” He looks at me. “Call me and I’ll come hold your hand on the flight.”
His words wrap around my heart and squeeze. And it’s in this moment that I realize BuzzFeed wasn’t able to capture the most wonderful expression I’ve seen from Will yet—tenderness.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Will
“As much as I appreciate it, you didn’t have to repair the siding, you know? Would’ve had Darell come back and fix it,” says Mabel. She’s hovering behind me in her pink pullover gown, steaming cup of coffee in hand.