“Yeah, well, that may be the hardest task of all.”
I nod once, focusing on the spinning figures around us, spotting Andy dancing with a blushing girl I’ve never seen before. My eyes wander to where Kitt and Jax are laughing, the former ruffling his little brother’s hair with a wide grin. I had seen Blair earlier, though it isn’t difficult to find her again with her bright green dress burning my eyes. I look away before I find myself searching once again for a certain prince in the crowd.
There are only five of us left.
I briefly wonder how many will survive to see the sun set tomorrow. Briefly wonder what parents will be mourning their child. Death is what these Trials bring—not honor, not glory, not happiness. Only death.
“Are you alright?” Lenny’s soft voice washes over me, and I turn my attention back to his big, brown eyes.
“Are any of us alright?”
He gives me a half-shrug. “Good point.”
The dance ends and our hands drop, but not before Lenny transfers the key into his palm and then his pocket. “Be careful tomorrow.” His voice is a low whisper, laced with worry.
“Awe, are you worried about me, Lenny?” I croon.
“Maybe a little, Princess.” He almost rolls his eyes. “Don’t die, okay?”
“I can’t make any promises, but for your sake, I’ll try to stay alive. Wouldn’t want you to have to live without me.” He smiles and shakes his head at me, but I catch his arm before he can turn away. “Hey, good luck. And remember what I told you about the passage. Oh, and—”
His laugh cuts me off. “Plagues, have a little faith in me, Paedyn. I’ve got this.”
I sigh and give him a slight nod before he turns and disappears into the crowd.
I smooth a sweaty hand over the thick corset of my dress before running it down the soft fabric billowing beneath. Then I turn on my heel, my legs sliding easily through the skirt’s slits I begged Adena to make extra high so I wouldn’t feel restricted by fabric. Maybe that’s the claustrophobia talking or maybe I simply like to have the option of sending a high kick towards someone’s face if need be.
I nearly run into Jax on the dance floor, and he grins at the sight of me. “Paedyn, hi! Do you want to dance? Andy ditched me. Not to mention that she has had far too much wine, and I don’t trust her not to fall on top of me.”
With a laugh, I nod before we begin spinning around the floor. A mellow waltz has started, the type with specific steps and switching partners, the type I typically try to avoid. But I let my feet guide me, trusting myself to remember the correct steps while trying to forget exactly why I can do this at all. Try to forget being held in the dark, led with strong arms and—
Stop.
Plagues, get a hold of yourself.
I look at the boy in front of me, all smiles and excitement. “You look dashing, Jax.”
His smile shifts into something akin to shy. “Thank you. Um. You look—”
We spin, and I’m pulled into the arms of a different gentleman. I nod politely to the young man, and he does the same as we step in time. Before I know it, I’m being passed around, held in the hands of men I’ve never met before. The waltz is a long one, making me regret stepping onto the dance floor.
My feet are killing me.
Then I’m turning into another body, encompassed by arms belonging to a grinning Kitt.
“There you are. I knew I’d get you back.”
I crack a small smile. “Took you long enough.”
I hear him laugh before I’m pulled flush against a new partner.
“You’re avoiding me.”
My heart flutters at that voice, the butterflies in my stomach doing the same as the slight scent of pine washes over me. I blink at the broad chest, very aware of the strong frame hiding beneath the crisp, white shirt. Taking a deep breath, I lift my gaze to meet his.
Oh, and I wish I hadn’t.
His eyes are mesmerizing, like melted steel, morning fog. They cut through me as though he is unafraid to see every part of me. His gaze feels right, familiar. And when his eyes lock with mine, I wonder why I ever bother looking at anyone else.
No. No. No.
Despite him feeling so right, I feel so very wrong and so very confused.
He hasn’t taken his eyes off me, and the weight of his gaze is pressing as he patiently watches me puzzle things out. Puzzle these feelings out.
“I wouldn’t call it...avoiding.” I sound very unconvincing, and rightfully so since I have been doing just that. And even though my very life is a lie, it seems my skills of deception have run out for the evening because I’m not fooling him.
The corner of his mouth twitches upwards, and I have to make a conscious effort not to stare at his lips. But just like this morning, I find myself wanting to lean into him. I don’t know what would have happened if I’d stayed in his room any longer, and yet, all day I’ve been kicking myself for not finding out.
It took everything in me to push him away despite how badly I wanted to pull him closer. But then I remind myself of who he is, what he is. Where he is the prince, the future Enforcer, the son of the man I hate, I am a Slummer, an Ordinary, the embodiment of the thing he has been taught to hate.
My thoughts scatter when a dimple catches my eye. “Then enlighten me. What would you call it, Gray?”
He spins me out with one hand before pulling me back into him, my back connecting with his chest. My hands are crossed over my stomach where he’s holding them from behind me, our bodies swaying together to the beat of the music.
“You seemed preoccupied, and I didn’t want to interrupt,” I say, recalling the women he’s danced with. His huff of laughter tells me he does too.
The brush of his jaw against my hair has my heart racing. He leans down so his face is beside mine, lips brushing the shell of my ear. “Hmm. Do you want to know what I think?” He tugs on my hands, pulling me closer. “I think you’re avoiding dancing with me because you can’t handle being so close.”
I nearly choke on the laugh that escapes me. “Please. I have no problem being close to you.”
Lies. Lies. Liar.
It seems my skill for deception is back.
“Is that right?” His lips are against my ear, fingers laced with mine, body pressed close.
I’m hot and cold, yes and no, right and wrong. I’m the embodiment of opposites, a jumble of confusion and contradictions.
I want this.
I don’t want this.
He dips his head so his chin rests on my shoulder.
Oh, I definitely want this.
Oh, but I definitely shouldn’t.
“Then why do you push me away?”
I still. There was so much emotion in his voice, so much raw uncertainty as the words left his lips. He spins me to face him slowly, not bothering to take a step back or put space between us.