Emma had gone to see Juliette after that, but the look on her face when she found Emma at her doorstep was enough to send Emma running back to the train station.
Her sisters had made it clear that they didn’t want or need her in their lives. Only the house still connected them. She thought with a pathetic, desperate kind of hope about calling them one last time, asking them to come, just to get the house ready to sell. To make peace.
To say goodbye.
But it was too late for that.
“Emma Palmer. I didn’t realize you were in town,” a voice said, low and alarmingly close to her ear. Emma spun. A man stood only a couple of feet away, a good six inches taller than her and broad in the shoulders. It took her a moment to place the crude angles of his face, now half-hidden beneath a thick gray beard.
“Officer Hadley,” she said. Her voice sounded scratchy. Her hand at her throat, she could feel the pulse in her neck, galloping.
“Emma,” he said, giving her an almost imperceptible nod. He wasn’t in uniform, just wearing a faded gray T-shirt and jeans. The memory of a cold gray room sprang up in her mind. Hadley’s hand smacking the table, making her jump. His voice raised to shout as she curled in on herself, tears running down her cheeks.
“What brings you back here?” he asked. She’d last heard that voice nine years ago. It had taken him that long to stop calling her on the anniversary and on her mother’s birthday, telling her that she would never be safe. He’d sent her letters, too. Unsigned, just vague enough that she couldn’t claim they were actually threatening.
She refused to quail in front of him as if she were sixteen again. She straightened up, lifted her chin. “We’re staying at the house for a while. Me and my husband.”
Hadley scratched the side of his neck. “That so? Well, it is your house. Though you ought to know—people around here still talk,” he said, like he wasn’t the reason for that.
“People can say what they want to. It doesn’t bother me,” Emma said, and realized that she was quoting her mother. It was something Irene Palmer had said many times, chin tipped up just like this, and it had been every bit as much a lie. “And if you have a problem with me being here, you should just say so.”
“It’s your house,” Hadley repeated with a shrug. “A nice early inheritance. Must be worth a pretty penny.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked.
A grunt. “Just saying. If you wanted to sell, it wouldn’t be a bad time for it.”
“It needs a lot of work,” Emma said darkly.
Hadley leaned in toward her, voice dropping. “You’ve really got no problem sleeping in the house where your parents were murdered?” he asked. “Where your mother bled out on the floor?”
Emma wrapped her hands around the handles of the basket she was carrying, heavy with paint remover and glass cleaner and other odds and ends. “Stop,” she said. It was barely audible at all.
“Your dad was my best friend. I swore I would bring the person who killed him to justice. You should know I still intend to keep that promise.”
He’d never let it go. All these years later, he was still sure it was her. She felt the frantic need rise up in her, the urge to speak. She’d said so much back then, so many ways. She had started out trying to protect her sisters, but at some point fear had taken over. All that had mattered was convincing him that she wasn’t to blame, but she couldn’t absolve herself—not without condemning someone else. And so in the end she’d only been able to repeat the same things again and again. I didn’t do it. I don’t know. I wasn’t there.
“Hey there,” Nathan said, coming up behind her. He put a hand on her shoulder, his standard affable smile affixed to his face.
“You’re the husband, I take it?” Hadley asked.
“Nathan Gates,” he said. He put out his hand to shake. Hadley reached out, his own smile sharp.
“Rick Hadley. Officer Hadley, when I’m working,” he said. “Welcome to Arden Hills, Mr. Gates. Your wife and I were just chatting. I’ve known her since she was a baby, you know. Her father was a good friend of mine.”
“Stop,” Emma snapped, wound close to breaking. Nathan gave her a startled look. She glared at Hadley, jaw clenched. “It’s our house and we’ve got a right to live in it. Just leave us alone.”
“Emma,” Nathan said, giving her a baffled and embarrassed look.
“That’s all right, Mr. Gates. Emma and I have some history. No hard feelings, Emma—and I’m happy to leave you and yours alone, as long as you don’t make your business my business. Oh, and Emma? Say hi to Gabriel for me.” He gave Nathan a nod—nothing for Emma—and ambled away casually.
Emma’s skin felt flushed. Her grip on the basket was so tight her fingers hurt and she wanted to shout after Hadley, but she had no idea what she would say—what words could possibly turn the fear and hurt inside her back on him as she wanted to.
“What the hell was that?” Nathan asked.
She looked up at him. “He … Back when my parents died, he…” Her throat tightened.
“I know you have history, but you were coming across a little Karen-y there,” Nathan said with infuriating cautiousness and an edge of humor she wanted to cut him with.
“You didn’t hear what he said,” she ground out.
“Look, you’re not exactly in a good frame of mind,” he said. He reached for the basket. “Why don’t I check out. You can wait in the car.”
“I’m fine, Nathan,” she said—and realized she sounded like she was about to cry. Which was ridiculous, since she hadn’t cried once—not finding out about the layoff, the offer, the baby, confessing her deep dark secrets to him. Except as soon as she’d thought it, it was like all of it hit her at once.
“Fuck,” she said loudly. A man at the other end of the aisle looked her way.
She pinched the bridge of her nose. That ever-present nausea was surging again, and the store felt unbearably hot. She wanted to get outside under the sky and take a breath that didn’t stink of paint fumes.
Nathan rubbed a soothing hand along her upper arm. “Hey, it’s okay. Go wait in the car, turn the air-conditioning on. I’ll go pay, and we can get out of here.”
She nodded mutely. She walked out into the sun, a hand over her stomach. Still flat enough she could forget she was pregnant at all—except for the sickness and the sore boobs and the fatigue that walloped her by seven every night.
She stalked over to the car and clambered in. They’d parked in the sun and the heat inside was like a solid thing. She got the AC going and leaned her head back.
If she were smart, she’d leave. It wasn’t like Hadley actually had anything on her. Let Arden Hills talk; she didn’t need to listen.
Except that she couldn’t put the genie back in the jar, could she? Nathan knew. And he knew that she’d lied about it, by omission if nothing else, which meant he had good reason to wonder why. Good reason to wonder what if.
Nathan arrived. He put the bags in the trunk and came around to the front. He opened the driver’s-side door, leaned down. “Want me to drive?” he asked.
They swapped places, and Nathan reached for the key to start up the engine, then paused. “That guy, Hadley. He said to say hello to Gabriel? You mentioned a Gabriel earlier,” Nathan said. Not making it a question—quite.
Emma looked over at him steadily. “He’s a friend. Or he was. He looks in on the house sometimes. Deals with the maintenance people, since he’s local.”
“What’s Hadley’s issue with him?” Nathan asked.
“Can we not do this right now?” she asked. Her voice cracked.
Nathan frowned. “Fine,” he said.
As they pulled away, Emma let her head drop back against the seat once again. She’d thought that they were well matched, she and Nathan. Her flaws balanced against his. But that was when she’d thought she would never have to come back to Arden Hills, or tell him about her parents. Or about Gabriel, for that matter.
Now the scales would tip, and tip, and tip, with each doubt-filled glance he cast her way.
Whether they stayed or left, it was only a matter of time.
* * *