I can tell Ashleigh doesn’t know if she’s being serious or not, but before I can clear it up, we get to the bar.
We each show our IDs at the door before funneling inside and hurrying up the stairs. We push through the heavy glass doors at the top and walk out onto the perfect night spot. From the street, all we could see were hanging lights and people milling around, bobbing—Ohioans’ preferred method of light dancing—to whatever music was playing. But now, up here and part of the crowd, it’s so much more. The space that is so much larger than I anticipated is broken up into different sections. A huge bar that extends from indoors to out sits right by the door. Modern and industrial design blend seamlessly with clean lines, wood, metal, and a shock of greenery dispersed across the patio.
One corner has a stage where a band is setting up their instruments. Another space ditches the wide planks and opts for turf. Two games of giant Jenga are playing out while a couple competes in a very intense round of cornhole. High-top tables with umbrellas and barstools are interspersed with giant plush couches and lounge chairs all across the space—a lack of seating never an issue—and flames dance across a long, rectangular fire pit table. It somehow manages to be fun, casual, and romantic all at the same time.
We find an empty table close to the stage, and even though none of us are very hungry, we still order bacon-wrapped dates, truffle fries, and crispy Brussels sprouts when the waitress—Julie, who has an amazing haircut and eyeliner so precise a robot must’ve applied it—comes by. Oh, and a round of frozen palomas because why the hell not?
“Oh, actually,” Ruby stops Julie before she can walk away, “can you put an extra shot of tequila in mine?”
“My kind of woman.” Julie winks and scribbles it down on her notepad. “Of course we can. Anybody else?”
“You know what? Why not?” Ashleigh looks like a kid who just stole a piece of candy from the grocery store. I’m pretty sure this is the naughtiest thing she’s ever done.
Julie aims a pointed look in my direction. “What about you?”
I feel Ashleigh’s and Ruby’s stares, and this might be the most peer pressure I’ve faced in years. Usually, I’d give in. I’m trash for people pleasing and also booze, but for some stupid freaking reason, I can only see Nate’s cringing face as he reminded me of my intolerance for tequila. “I’m okay without it, but thank you.”
“Did you just deny yourself extra tequila?” Ruby reaches across the table and presses her palm against my forehead. “Are you feeling okay?”
“Ha ha. Real funny. I feel fine.” I swat her hand away and contemplate whether or not to tell her what I’m thinking.
If anyone can talk some sense into me right now, it’s definitely Ruby. And Ashleigh—forgetting that she has sold both leggings and essential oils since I’ve known her—has been so supportive and kind since we’ve met. I know that if I want to keep from locking myself inside my bedroom for another week, I’m going to have to open up to them.
“Okay.” I drop my voice to a whisper and lean toward the table. “I need you to both help straighten me out because my mind is all jumbled.”
“The entire point of this trip is to straighten you out.” Ruby takes a long sip of her water before leaning back in the metal chair and making herself comfortable. “So shoot.”
Ashleigh nods emphatically. “I’m not the best at straightening people out, but I am a good listener.”
Since she’s listened to multiple rants from me and sat quietly during the longest HOA meeting ever, I know this to be a fact.
“Okay.” I take a long breath and try to figure out where to start. “So Ruby already knows, but just to make sure we’re all on the same page, Nate and I used to be really great friends. Besides Ruby, he was my best friend for quite some time, so he actually knows a lot about me.”
“Obviously I’ve always been her fun friend,” Ruby says to Ashleigh.
“Obviously.” Ashleigh laughs.
“Anyways!” I pretend to sound annoyed, but I’m sure the smile on my face gives me away. “When I was over at Nate’s the other night, even though a lot of time has passed and we’ve both lived a lot of life, it was really nice talking to him again. There’s something so comforting about having a shared history with someone and not having to explain myself. I don’t know, it just really made me miss him and our friendship.”
“That’s kind of sweet.” Ruby couldn’t sound more annoyed by this. I don’t blame her. I feel the exact same way. It’s the worst.
“It was. Which is how I got lost in the moment and I forgot what things are really like between the two of us now. I forgot I couldn’t trust him to not use what happened with Peter against me.”
I keep trying to figure out how I missed his true intentions. But every time I think back on that night, all I remember is sincerity in his hazel eyes and compassion in his deep voice. There was no way I could’ve known. The saddest part is, even knowing what I know now, if he were to look at me the way he did the other night and open up, I’d make the same mistakes all over again.
“Wait.” Ashleigh sits up straight in her seat. “I know you’re pissed about the video getting out—as you should be; that was super uncool—but are you saying you think Nate’s behind it?”
I can’t tell if this is a rhetorical question or not. I look to Ruby for help, but she just widens her eyes and shrugs.
I try to think of something other than duh or are you fucking kidding me to say, but it’s not easy. Becoming a better person is really hard. Maybe I should reward myself with an extra shot of tequila . . .
“Well, yeah,” I say after some thought. “I talked to him one night and a few hours later it’s plastered all over the HOA website by the woman who is always clinging to him? It doesn’t take a detective to piece those clues together.”
The part of all this that stings but that I haven’t given life to is the woman he told. I might’ve known that Angela was a bitch the moment I laid my eyes on her, but I can’t deny that she’s very pretty. Or that she looks an awful lot like Nate’s ex-fiancée . . . and the girlfriend he came back to school with after the summer he disappeared on me.
Ashleigh’s cornflower-blue eyes dance with mischief, and the smug smile pulling on the corners of her lips looks out of place on her perpetually kind face. “I hate to break it to you, but if you’re thinking about a second career as an investigator, you might want to think again.”
I tilt my head to the side, narrowing my eyes as I try to comprehend what, exactly, she’s trying to say. Ruby, my not-so-mild-mannered friend, slams her hands down on the tabletop and screams, “Come again? What do you mean by that?”
It feels as if the bustling rooftop comes to a screeching halt and all eyes focus on our table. I want to shrink beneath the attention. I want to crawl right back into my bed and throw the covers over my head.
But I can’t.
Not now.