“This is the bestest day ever,” Avery chirps to me as she puts her hand in mine and we walk over to the rides. We spend all day and end up eating lunch and dinner there. We even sit on the grass to wait for the fireworks starting at ten. She sits next to me with the big bear as her backrest.
I put her on my shoulders when we get up and head to the car because she’s tired and her feet are going to fall off, according to her. She gets into her car seat, and I’m not even in drive by the time she falls asleep. The car ride is quiet as Addison puts her head back on the rest. When I pull up to the house, I look over at her. “You get the bear. I’ll get Avery.”
She nods at me and we literally drag our feet up to the third floor. I walk in and head straight to her room. Placing her on the bed, I take off her shoes and socks. She doesn’t even stir when I put her pj’s on her.
“She’s out for the count,” I say when I walk back out seeing Addison drinking a glass of water by the counter. The only light on in the house is the one beside the couch. “I’ll get going.” I point at the door, even though I don’t want to go.
Addison follows me to the door and I open it right before I turn back and see her. “Thank you,”
she says, standing by the door as I step outside, “for today.” Her hand comes up to hold the handle of the door. “She is never going to forget it.”
I turn to face her. “It was my pleasure,” I reply softly to her. “It was one of the best days I’ve had in a long, long time. Actually, every single time I’m with you guys, it’s the best time of the day.”
She looks down, not sure what to say, and I know I should leave. My head is saying one thing, but my heart is the one in charge here. I take steps toward her to close the distance. She looks up at me.
“The only thing that would make this day even more perfect,” I say to her, my head bending, “is kissing you.” It’s the last thing I say because my lips are crushed to hers.
addison
. . .
I don’t know if it happens in slow motion or not, but all I see is Stefano in front of me. All I can see is his green eyes, which were light all day, but now in the semi-darkness of my entryway, they are a deep green. The scruff on his face is a bit longer than usual, but all I could do all day long was wonder if it would prick my lips when he kissed me or if it would be soft. I spent the whole day trying not to fall in love with him because how could I not? The way he treats me and our daughter, my heart is no match for him. I know I have no right to him. I know I have to stop the ridiculousness of this and remember he goes home to another woman every night. I know I should put that thought front and center, especially when it’s dark and he’s close to me, and the smell of him just makes my stupid body forget it all. My hand grips on to the door handle tighter and tighter as his body gets closer and closer to mine. His head lowers to mine and my head screams out No, while my body moves in closer to him. I think my breath hitches right before his lips smash onto mine, but I’m not sure.
I’m not sure of anything at this moment. The only thing I’m sure of is this kiss is one million times better than I remembered it was. His hands reach out to grab my face, and I swear my body melts into him as his tongue slides into my mouth. I don’t know if I moan into his mouth or if my mouth swallows his moan, either way my whole body awakens for him, just like it did five years ago. He tilts his head to the side to deepen the kiss, our tongues going around and around. I’m lost in this, lost in the kiss.
Lost in the fact, even after all these years, his kiss still cuts me off at my knees. Lost in the fact I think I could kiss him for the rest of my life and still get butterflies when he’s around. But he’s not yours, my head screams. My eyes flicker open, right before my hands go to his chest, and my eyes close for one more second before I push him away from me. “That was a mistake,” I say, my hand coming up to my mouth as my fingertips touch my lips that can still feel his lips on mine. “That was a big mistake.”
All he does is nod his head and leave without saying anything. I don’t bother watching him walk down the steps, instead I close the door. The sound of the click echoes throughout my apartment and I’m sure the staircase. I lock the door, another sound that seems louder than it ever was before. My head falls to the door as I close my eyes, and I can still picture his eyes right before he kissed me. It was the same look in his eyes all those years ago. “He’s with someone,” I tell myself before I push off from the door and go to the bathroom.
I turn the water on in the sink, avoiding looking at myself in the mirror. The guilt of me kissing a man who is with someone isn’t a look I want to see. I turn the shower on, stepping in and putting my head back so the water can run down my face. Even when I get out of the shower, I avoid looking at myself as I slip on my shorts and tank top.
I peek in on Avery, who is out for the count. Today has been the most she’s ever done at the fair.
She must have done that teacup ride ten times in a row, happily showing the girl her bracelet each time. I bend to kiss her forehead. “I love you,” I whisper to her, and all she does is turn over on her side.
I tiptoe out of the room toward mine and slide into bed. My lips still tingle from the kiss.
“Asshole,” I hiss when I lie down and think about the kiss I shouldn’t be thinking about. “He just kisses me,” I blurt out. “You let it happen also.” I’m about to argue back to myself when the beep from my phone makes me turn to look at the side table where it came from.
I just stare at it as another beep comes in, this time I reach out and grab the phone, seeing it’s a text from Stefano.
Are you up?
I don’t know why I answer him. I should just put the phone down and ignore it.
No.
I’m about to turn on the do not disturb when the phone rings in my hand. Seeing his name pop up just gets me angrier that he’s put us both in the situation. Maybe he’s used to doing things behind his girlfriend’s back, but I’m not going to enable him. I press the green button. “Hello,” I answer, waiting for him to say something.
“Hi,” he says, letting out a huge deep breath, making my stomach get all these damn flutters. Why is him breathing out such a turn-on?
“Listen.” My voice comes out a little higher than I want it to, and you can definitely hear the pissed-off tone. “I am all for you being a dad to Avery, but that is where it ends with us.”
I wait for him to say something to apologize for putting both of us in this awkward place, but instead, he shocks me with his question. “Go on a date with me?”
The shock quickly leaves and it’s replaced with rage, and I sit up in bed. “Excuse me?” I ask him because what if I think he asked me out but instead he asked me to take Avery out?
“Go on a date with me?” he repeats the same question, but this time I know I heard right.
“Are you insane?” I snap out. “I am not going to date a man who is dating someone else. This isn’t Sister Wives.” I shake my head. “The audacity.”
“Addison,” he says my name softly, “I’m not dating anyone.” His words stop me from cursing him out.
“What?” I ask, shocked by this news. “When?” I toss the covers off me and get out of bed. The
nerves are running through me so fast that sitting down is going to drive me crazy, so instead I just pace my small bedroom.
“When we first met to talk about Avery.” His voice is soft and all I can do is sit on the bed.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” I close my eyes, wishing I knew this before he kissed me so I could have—I don’t know—made it last longer. Maybe jump his bones at my front door. Maybe climb him like a monkey and never let him go.
“You never asked,” he replies, and I take the phone away from my ear and put it on speakerphone.
“What was I supposed to ask you exactly?” I chuckle nervously. “Oh, hey there, did you tell the blonde who chased you around all night at the wedding that you’re a dad?” I wish I had an off switch when it came to my mouth and being nervous.