"Actually." I look down at the empty glass in my hand. "I am." I look over, seeing that most people have stayed. "Better now than later, right?"
"She wasn’t the one," my mother says now, and I look at her and see her dabbing the corners of her eyes. "When it’s the right one, you’ll know." My mother looks over at the bar. "Maybe the right one was at the wrong time."
I look over at the bar. "Or maybe she was the right one all along, and I was stupid and scared she wouldn’t pick me."
"Only one way to find out." She comes to me and kisses my cheek. "Truth be told, you might still be stupid and scared."
"Not sure about scared," I joke with her. "Definitely still stupid." I look back over at Harlow and see her moving behind the bar as if she does this all the time. I wonder how she’s been. I wonder if she is happy. I wonder so many fucking things, and all I can do is stand here staring at her. But there is no mistaking that she still takes my breath away and makes me feel things I thought were gone forever.
"I’m proud of you." She cups my cheek. "Now, I shall go and mingle."
She walks away from me, and I have to say that that went better than I could ever imagine it going, like tenfold. I walk toward the bar and see my college friends all huddled on one side. I get closer, and the guys look up at me, and one of them just hands me their drink, and I take it without caring what it is. "Well, this is nice," I say, and I laugh.
"Listen, if you wanted to see us so bad," Frankie starts, taking a pull of his beer. "All you had to do was ask. You didn’t have to go out of your way and pretend to get married."
I throw my head back, and I laugh at him. "Guilty," I say, taking a gulp of the drink. I look to the side and see ten people now running in, all wearing black with white dress shirts. Two guys come over and walk behind the bar.
"I think this means I’m fired," Harlow declares and walks over to the sink to wash her hands. I follow her every move. I don’t think it sank in that she’s really here. She walks over to Bennett now. "Good job," she says, holding up her hand for him to give her a high five. "But I still won."
"I didn’t know where any of the bottles were," he whines to her retreating back. "We should have a rematch."
She shakes her head and walks out from behind the bar. Rachel whispers something into her ear, and she smiles and nods her head. "Okay, people," Jake says. "We know the drill." He looks over at the bartender. "We will take nine shots of tequila." The bartender nods at him and pours nine shots, and then he looks at all of us. "It’s time to play monkey business."
Everyone now groans and then laughs. "Got to bring it back old-school," I say, looking over at Harlow, who made up the game.
"If there is ever a time for monkey business," Harlow says and turns to hand me a shot. I laugh because she always had a way to make me feel better. If I had a crappy day at school, she would order my favorite food. If I got a bad result back, she would turn off all the lights in the room, and we would play touchy-feely, as she called it, trying to find each other. That’s Harlow, that is who she is. That is who I pushed away and forced myself to believe that I did it so she didn’t have to choose me over her family. I pushed her away because I was scared that she would sacrifice everything that she wanted for me, and then she would end up resenting me. I pushed her away, scared that in the end, she wouldn’t pick me. "It’s definitely now. Who wants to start?"
Chapter 8
Harlow
"Tomcat," Bennett says, and everyone laughs at him. "It’s an animal."
"No, it’s not," Presley says from her spot beside him. We moved from the bar to a table when the music started. People slowly started to leave, and now it was just our table left. We’ve been playing this game for the last hour, and the drinks have been flowing. The tension of me being here is gone, or at least it doesn’t bother me now because I have booze flowing through my system.
Sitting at the table between Rachel and Victoria, it’s definitely different from when we did this before. Especially since I used to either sit beside Travis or on top of him. Now he is facing me, and I am having a hard time not looking over at him. I would, of course, have to look over at him when it was his time during the game, but when it wasn’t, I would sneak looks over at him and hope he would miss me. A couple of times, I caught him looking and just smiled at him. My whole body was on high alert as if it was waiting for his touch. When he came to the bar and I handed him a drink, it was to make myself not reach out for him. It was what I always did. I had to tell myself that it was the past and he was with someone now. It was hard for me to swallow, but I did it for him. I did it because I promised him that I would be here and I was a woman of my word. I mean, I also promised to kick him in the balls the next time I would see him, so there is a promise that I don’t know if I will keep.
His voice when he said it was canceled, I thought I wasn’t hearing him correctly. I thought it was a mistake, and then he announced it, and I had all the questions in the world. What the hell was happening? Where was the bride? Who changed their mind? All the questions yet knew that he owed me nothing.
"I’m going to the bathroom," I say, standing up, the room spins, and then I sit down and laugh. I look around the table to see if anyone is watching and find his eyes on me. His eyes are a touch lighter than they were when he walked in. His side smirk makes my stomach flip and flop, and then the feeling goes a touch lower to a specific area he definitely made happy daily. It’s the smirk that I used to reach up and touch with my index finger right before I leaned in and kissed his lips.
"What is that smirk about?" I wrapped my arms around his neck as he placed his hands on my hips. His hands always were on my hips, where he squeezed me and pulled me toward him.
He would lift one of his hands and push my hair to the back of my shoulder so he could lean in and whisper in my ear. "Because I know what I’m going to be doing to you after we leave here." I would throw my head back and laugh, and he would take the opportunity to lean in and kiss my neck while he wrapped his arms around my waist, and I would be stuck to him.
"You are fortunate that I like you," I would say to him, and that would make him laugh, giving me the opportunity to kiss his neck and slip my hands into the back of his hair. "I like you a lot." His eyes would come back to mine. "I love you, Harlow," he would say, and no matter where we were or how loud it was, I could always hear those words clear as day. It would fill my whole body; it would make me feel complete. It would make my heart full in my chest. It was a feeling I thought would never go away.
I blink away the memory. "Okay, take two," I say, getting up, putting my hands on the table to steady myself, and when I don’t wobble, I want to give myself a high five. Instead, I giggle to myself.
"I’ll come with you," Shelby says, getting up. "I need to pee also."
We walk side by side through the tables and into the bathroom, and I stand here in shock. "Oh my God." I look around the square room that has all exposed red bricks. Wooden beams are exposed on the ceiling, with a crystal chandelier hanging down.
Five white sinks are along one of the walls, but what gets me is the big white bench right in front of a mirror that fills most of the wall, but it’s the thick gold antique frame. "This is gorgeous." I walk to the edge and touch the intricate lines with my fingers, tracing the tiny flowers.
"It’s the perfect place for a selfie," Shelby suggests, taking her phone out of her pocket. "Sit down," she says, motioning to the seat in front of it, and I do. "Face the mirror," she instructs me, and I follow her lead. "Put your legs to the side." I laugh when she says this. "Smile."