“Well? Any news?”
“I said I’d call you when there was news to share.” There’s a little static on the line, but not so much that I can’t hear Nikolai’s irritation.
“You’ve had twelve hours. Do you need me to find someone actually competent to do the job?”
I should’ve known better. What I call follow-ups, Niko calls micromanaging. What I call delegation, he calls control. When I say the sky is blue, he likes to say it’s green, solely because it pisses me the hell off.
“These are delicate matters. I have to be discreet. We don’t want everyone knowing that our vors’s body parts are showing up in the mail, do we?”
I suppress a sigh. “I called all the main men. Pavel and Igor are the only two that didn’t pick up.”
“Igor always picks up.”
“Exactly. I just need confirmation.”
“As I said, I’m on it.”
I hang up before I say something regrettable. Then again, if I did, it would be the first time in a long time. These days, I tend to tread lightly around Nikolai and his ego. Not simply because I took the title that was meant for him, but also because he is my elder brother. And he’s also a good one—at least, when he’s not busy feeling sorry for himself.
The shatter of breaking glass gets me on my feet and out of my office room in an instant. I find Lev in the upstairs living room, shaking his head in distress and hugging his knees tight to his chest. Svetlana is standing a few feet away, marooned in place by the shards of crystal littering the floor between her and Lev.
She pales when she sees me. “I-I’m sorry, sir,” she says quickly. “I didn’t mean to upset him. I was just—”
“It’s okay, Svetlana,” I say gently. “Just tell me what happened.”
Her hands are trembling badly and she keeps glancing over at Lev, who’s muttering fast under his breath.
“I told him he couldn’t go down to the basement and he… he got upset with me…”
There are tears shimmering in her eyes. I kick away some of the glass. “This was my mistake. I should have been the one to tell Lev.” The frown lines on her face reduce drastically. “Could you give us a moment?”
She nods quickly and jumps over the broken crystal. Her feet land on a few straddling shards and the crunch has Lev rocking back and forth even faster.
“Lev, brat,” I croon softly as I approach him. He’s skittish, his eyes veering up and down, up and down, again and again. “Can you come over here for a second?”
He shakes his head furiously. The rocking doesn’t stop. “I want… m-my basement.”
“That’s not gonna happen today, buddy.”
He lets out an angry wail and lunges up at me. The first time it happened, he literally knocked me off my feet, but after seven years, I’m prepared. I grab him before he can throw the full weight of his body on me. I wrap my arms around him and squeeze hard like a boa constrictor.
Lev snarls but I don’t let go. I don’t even loosen my grip. I just apply pressure until he stops struggling as much.
“Lev, take a deep breath.”
“I don’t want breath. I want my basement!”
Keeping one arm firmly placed across his chest, I stroke his hair with my free hand. It’s a very different experience now than it used to be. Even at twelve, Lev was a tall kid. But the years have turned him into a man. His muscles have grown, his strength has grown, his body has grown.
His mind, though, has stayed right where it was.
“I know you do, buddy, but not today, okay?”
“It’s my basement! I want my basement!”
“You have a room up here, Lev. I made it for you special. It’s got green curtains and a fish tank. Just like you wanted.”
“I want my basement!”
I lean away to prevent him from bursting my eardrums. “Lev, you’re not listening to me.”
“I don’t want to listen. I want—”
“—your basement. I know.”
He’s trying to rock back and forth again. His eyes are watery with tears. He’s still struggling but it’s half-hearted.
“Lev, please. Take a deep breath.”
“My fort. I want to be in my fort… The train is coming… My enemies are coming… I want…”
“There is no train, Lev. There are no enemies, either. I’ve taken care of all of them.”
Lev shakes his head. “My books… My games… My paints…”
His body has gone limp, which is how I know it’s safe to release him. His outbursts are abrupt, sometimes unpredictable, but they fade away as fast as they come. I turn him around slowly so that we’re face to face.
“You have books, games, and paint in your new room.”
His eyebrows are pulled together tight enough to erase any gap between them. His dark brown eyes zip past me, back to me, then past me again. “I don’t like the new room.”
“Tell me why.”
He makes a sound that comes from the back of his throat. It happens anytime he doesn’t like something but he doesn’t know how to express himself.
“Use your words. Tell me why.”
He shakes his head. “Not safe… too bright…”
I take both his hands and squeeze. “Who am I?”
Lev looks at me, his mouth dropping open. “My brother.”
“Your big brother,” I say with a nod. “And what is my most important job?”
Lev’s frown slowly starts fading. “Me.”
I smile encouragingly. “That’s right. Taking care of you is my most important job. Protecting you is my most important job. I would never do anything that wasn’t good for you, Lev. You know that, right?”
His mouth twists like he’s not sure whether to smile or cry. He looks down at our linked hands and takes that big breath I’ve been trying to coax him into. He’s never been good at getting words out when he’s distressed, but the moment he calms down, it gets easier.
“But I… miss my basement. I don’t like being up here… alone.”
He pummels his head against my chest and I clutch the back of his neck. “You’re not alone. I’m right here. I’m always here. How about this: just for tonight, you can sleep in my room.”
Lev jerks his head up. “Like a sleepover?”
I stare at my not-so-little brother’s face, marveling at all that childlike joy, the innocence that has become a permanent part of his personality. I still see the boy he was. The boy he is, frozen in time. Trapped in a body that left him behind a long time ago.
“Yes, like a sleepover.”
He grabs me for a tight bear hug. “Sleepover!” he exclaims. “Sleepover! Sleepover!”
Nikolai would accuse me of enabling Lev’s fears instead of helping him to face them. But I see it differently. I want him to face his fears, too.
I just don’t think he should have to face them alone.
13
URI
Alyssa is lying spread-eagled on the bed with her eyes trained on the ceiling. But the moment the door snaps shut, she jerks upright.