He follows my request, turning it into a whole ordeal as my body slides down his.
My cheeks burn by the time I land on my feet.
“You put up a good fight.” He hands me the stuffed unicorn he picked out.
“Save me from the fake display of sportsmanship and get on with your gloating.”
“Fine. It felt good kicking your ass again.”
“There’s the cocky Julian I know and despise.” I grin.
Before I have a chance to stop him, he steals a quick kiss. It’s nothing more than a soft brush of his lips over mine, but it makes my head spin and my heart race like I ran a marathon.
“Sorry.” He pulls away and scans the group of random festival attendees waiting for their turn at the game.
“Just…You…We have rules for a reason.”
His gaze drops to my lips. “I know. It won’t happen again.”
Except the strange look on his face doesn’t fill me with confidence.
Julian places his hand on the small of my back and steers me toward the other side of the fairgrounds, keeping his touch to a minimum as we navigate the large swarms of people.
“So now that you’ve officially won, what do you want?” I ask as we near the entrance.
“You’ll find out when the time is right.”
“Julian!” I grab at his arm, but he steps out of reach before I have a chance to latch on. “Where are you going?”
“Far away before I give in to temptation and kiss you again.”
I’m beginning to hate my rule about no touching in public, especially when I’m hit with a sudden feeling of emptiness as he disappears into the crowd.
I was so distracted by his words that I forgot to get an answer from him.
Damn.
CHAPTER THIRTY
Dahlia
While Julian’s carnival competition kept my mind occupied last night, I wake up on Sunday at four a.m. with a heavy weight pressing against my chest. I battle between wanting to get out of bed and wishing I could disappear into the dark pit of despair threatening to swallow me whole.
That’s the depression talking, I remind myself.
I’ll be damned if I let myself sink into deep sadness today, no matter how tempted I am. So instead, I reluctantly slide out of bed, throw on some workout clothes, and head out for a run like my therapist suggested once.
Good for you for getting out of bed, I chant to myself as my sneakers smack against the pavement.
No one but you defines your life’s purpose. I wipe my sweaty forehead.
There are plenty of ways to have a child. Julian’s words from yesterday ring true, erasing the last bit of self-doubt.
By the time I return home an hour later, I’m feeling loads lighter after challenging every single one of my negative thoughts.
And now that my mind feels clearer, I’m able to take on the second day of the Harvest Festival.
But first…
I pull out my phone and get to work, planning something much more worthy of my time and energy.
After Julian tricked me into losing yesterday’s carnival games, I have one goal in mind. Thankfully, Lily, Josefina, and my mom are all on board for my prank since I’m down one arm and need all the help I can get.
“He’s never going to forgive me.” Josefina unlocks the front door to his office building.
Mom’s face pales. “Will he be mad?”
“Mom. Relax.” Lily grabs her shoulders and gives them a squeeze. “You’re so tense all the time.”
She does a quick prayer under her breath before passing over the threshold with bags filled with Christmas decorations.
My prank is silly and unexpected, which will only make the whole thing that much better when Julian enters his office tomorrow morning.
“Do I need to ask?” Lily pulls out a nutcracker smoking a joint.
Josefina and I break out into a fit of laughter while my mom covers her eyes.
“Ay, Dios. ?Dónde está la natividad?” My mom searches through the plastic bags of stuff I bought.
I cringe. “I forgot to grab one.”
“No, no, no. That’s unacceptable. I think I have a spare one from the flower shop.” Mom rushes out the front door and toward the store.
Josefina steps outside and returns with the fake Christmas tree. “Where do you want to put this?”
“I’m thinking Julian’s office.”
She steers me in that direction. “He’d absolutely love that.”
“Wait until you see the ornaments I bought. They’re truly one of a kind.”
Her cackle bounces off the tall ceilings, making Lily and me burst into laughter too. Mom shows up with a nativity scene and sets it up on a coffee table in the waiting room while Lily gift-wraps Sam’s desk.
Josefina and I enter Julian’s office and get to work assembling the Christmas tree in the corner opposite his desk.
“What gave you this idea?” She plugs in the cord in a socket, and the bulbs covering the tree flicker to life. The twinkling lights reflect off every shiny surface, nearly blinding us with their sheer intensity.
“Well, it all started with finding the Christmas tree at the art store in Detroit, and the plan kind of spiraled from there.”
Ay, Dios. ?Dónde está la natividad?: Oh, God. Where is the nativity?
“Does Julian know?”
“Vaguely.”
She laughs while shaking her head. “You two and your pranks.”
“Do you think he’ll hate it?”
“Maybe for a moment. He hasn’t decorated his house for Christmas, let alone his office.”
I gasp. “Like ever?”
She nods.
“That’s blasphemous.”
“I know. I bought him a fake tree because of his allergies, but it’s still in the garage gathering dust.”
“Why?”
“I haven’t wanted to ask. But I know this”—she motions at the pile of ornaments waiting to be hung—“will be good for him.”
“How so?”
“Because this is what life is all about.”
My brows tug together. “Decorating?”
“Living rather than going through the motions.”
Her comment hits far too close to home, so I thrust myself into the task of hanging the first ornament.
Ho for the Holidays.
Josefina breaks out into laughter at the cartoon image of Santa wrapped around a candy cane stripper pole.
“I love it.”
“My mom would have a heart attack.”
“Should we bring her in to watch her gasp and clutch at her cross?”
I laugh. “Tempting, but we’re on a time crunch.”
Josefina grabs one of an elf smoking out of a candy cane bong. “Classy.”
“Wait until you see the other ones I got.”
The twinkle in her eyes has little to do with the lights of the Christmas tree reflecting off them. “I’m so happy you’re back.”
Her sentence has two meanings, one of which has my throat getting all scratchy. If anyone understands the ups and downs that come with depression, it’s her.
“I’m happy I’m back too.”
She wraps her arms around me. “I’ve missed you.”
My sniffle could be misconstrued as an allergy to the Christmas-scented candle I lit, but I know the truth. I lost myself over the years and became a fraction of who I was meant to be, all because I thought that was a part of growing up.
I don’t plan on making that mistake again.