“I wouldn’t go so far as to call you one of the good ones, but you’re not half bad,” Grandma says.
Ben bursts out laughing, the sound echoing off the quiet porch. “I will take that compliment, thank you.”
I lean my head back with a sigh. She’s right. She’s always right. She was right about me coming back, about her party, about Ben. I’ve been angry with Ben for dredging up the past, but it needed to be dredged up.
No one protected Savvy back then. The very least I can do is find answers for her now.
“You’re not half bad,” I repeat softly. One side of Ben’s mouth turns up, and when our eyes meet, I have to look away.
Grandma squints, and I follow her gaze to a gray-haired man walking down the road in our direction, swinging a cane like some kind of dapper gentleman from the 1920s. “Oh, hold on.” She gets up and struts toward him, glass in hand.
I watch her greet the man with a kiss. The vodka buzz is intensifying, and I actually feel a little jealous. I’m reminded again of how long it’s been since I had good sex.
“That’s a different man than the one who came by when I interviewed her,” Ben says with a soft laugh. He pauses for a moment. “Do you agree with her about Matt?”
I look at him in surprise. “What about Matt?”
“Have you finished episode five?”
“No, I only got about halfway before I had to meet you.”
“Oh.” He’s watching Grandma and her suitor. She laughs at something he says. “You should finish episode five.”
“Why? What’d she say?”
He takes a long sip of his drink. “She thinks Matt killed her.”
Listen for the Lie Podcast with Ben Owens EPISODE 5—“A MYSTERY WOMAN”
If I’m being honest, Beverly Moore is the reason you’re listening to season two of this podcast.
I reached out to her last year. I didn’t even expect a reply to my email, but she called me up within hours of receiving it. Told me she’d be happy to talk to me about Lucy.
Ben:???????????????Mrs. Moore, I really appreciate you sitting down with me today.
Beverly:?????????Oh, hon, you can call me Beverly.
Ben:???????????????Okay. Beverly. Can you tell me about your granddaughter? What was Lucy like when she was younger?
Beverly:?????????She was a real no-nonsense girl. Just didn’t have time for any shit, you know? I’ve always admired that about her. I was so concerned with whether or not everyone liked me at that age.
And people hate that quality in a young woman, don’t they? They don’t know what to do with a girl who isn’t looking for their approval. They feel like they have to bring her down a peg.
Ben:???????????????You knew Savannah, didn’t you?
Beverly:?????????Of course. Lovely girl, and I’m not just saying that because she’s dead. Some young people, they don’t want to talk to us old folks, but Savvy was a real sweetheart to everyone. I used to help out at the bakery, and she’d come in a few times a week. She’d often stay and chat for a while.
Ben:???????????????Tell me about how you met Matt.
Beverly:?????????Lucy brought him home … I guess it was the summer before her senior year of college. They’d already been dating for a bit.
Ben:???????????????What did you think?
Beverly:?????????Well, I could tell that Lucy was madly in love. And I wanted to like him, for her sake, but … I didn’t really. He was so charming, in that way that’s always felt suspicious to me.
Ben:???????????????Can you elaborate on that?
Beverly:?????????Some men, they’ve got to put on a show when they’re around women. It’s like they don’t actually know how to talk to us, so they choose over-the-top chivalry. “If I pull out her chair and make a big show of talking about how moms are heroes and women are actually the strong ones, they won’t notice that I don’t have any interest in listening to a single word that comes out of their mouths.”
Matt was like that.
Ben:???????????????Did you tell Lucy your concerns?
Beverly:?????????Not at that time, no. She was twenty years old. No one wants their grandma weighing in on their boyfriend at that age. At any age, honestly. So, I kept my mouth shut until they got engaged.
Ben:???????????????You said something then?
Beverly:?????????I did. Lucy called me all excited, telling me Matt proposed, and I said, “Honey, why don’t you wait a bit? You’re so young. Go to Europe. Buy an old van and travel the country. Don’t get married. You have your whole life to be married.”
She didn’t like that, of course. And when she asked if I didn’t like Matt, I told her, no, I didn’t. I said that I got a bad feeling from him, and that if he really loved her, he would understand that she wanted to wait a few years to get married. What kind of twenty-two-year-old boy wants to get married these days anyway? We’re not Mormons, for Christ’s sake.
Ben:???????????????What was her response?
Beverly:?????????She was polite, but it was obvious that she wasn’t going to take my advice. I can’t blame her. I was the same way when I was her age. Stars in my eyes. Thinking about my pretty white dress and the chubby little babies who would look up at me adoringly.
In the end, life is just sweatpants and children who resent you and all your choices. But no one wants to hear that.
Ben:???????????????What about after they got married? Did you warm to Matt?
Beverly:?????????Goodness no. I hated him even more, and I don’t care who knows it.
The act started to fade a bit, and I’d catch him sniping at Lucy. I’d see him roll his eyes at something she said. And he started to slip, say things that he really meant after I’d known him a few years. Men can only hide it for so long, you know?
Ben:???????????????Hide what?
Beverly:?????????Who they really are. Matt’s real, horrible self was shining through after a few years.
Ben:???????????????What kinds of things did he say?
Beverly:?????????Well, let me tell you the one that really matters. I may be old, but I remember this word for word. We were out to eat at the restaurant where Savvy worked. We saw her over at the bar as we walked in, and Don leaned over and said something to Matt. I don’t know what. But Matt goes, “That little slut hates me.”
Ben:??????????????? … He said “little slut” in front of you?
Beverly:?????????He sure did. He muttered it under his breath, and he looked a little embarrassed after, like he hadn’t meant to say it. Don just laughed a little, like he was embarrassed too, and I don’t think either of them realized I’d heard.
Ben:???????????????Did you tell Lucy?
Beverly:?????????No. I considered it, but I didn’t know what purpose it would serve. But I really started to worry at that point. If that was something he’d say to his wife’s father, what sorts of things must he be thinking? Or saying to Lucy?
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
LUCY
“Mom, you should have at least talked to me first.” Mom greets Grandma at the door this way. From my spot leaning against the kitchen counter, I can see Grandma pull off her sunglasses to reveal an unamused expression. I pop another donut hole in my mouth.
Grandma steps into the house, waving off her daughter. “I don’t need your permission to tell people my opinions.”
“Ben isn’t people, he’s—” She stops with the front door half-closed, using the end of her crutch to prop it open. “Whose truck is that?”
“A friend’s.” Grandma plops down at the kitchen table.
“Which friend?” Mom closes the door and hobbles over.
“Just a friend.”
“How many friends do you have these days?”
“I don’t know, Kathleen, a few,” Grandma says, exasperated. “I’m a likable person.”
“Wouldn’t know what that’s like,” I quip.
She puts a soft hand over mine. “Better to be interesting than likable, in my opinion.”
Mom wrinkles her nose like she disagrees.
“Do you want some coffee?” I ask Grandma. “I just made a fresh pot.”
“Yes, hon. Thank you.”
I pour her a cup and drop the box of donut holes in the middle of the table. Grandma fishes out a powdered-sugar-covered one.