Constantine: Don’t listen to him.
I swiped my key fob to enter my apartment complex and went inside. It wasn’t too fancy of a place. No lobby with a security guard, and now that Maria was living next door, I was beginning to wonder if I needed to upgrade our location. Tap into some of the money I told myself I wouldn’t touch to get a more secure place and then somehow not let her know the actual cost.
Alessandro: Watch her with another man the way you had to do with Thomas? Genius idea. Your control has its limits, bro. You’ve waited long enough. You’re bound to snap soon.
I finally joined their exchange because he’d struck a nerve on purpose.
Me: What choice did I have? She was married.
Constantine: And she’s not now. WTF is wrong with you?
Me: You know my problem. ALL of our problems. What we’ve done . . .
Constantine: Was exactly what needed to be done. And you know that.
Alessandro: If you’re not going to make a move, then I’m going to get back to the two women who are having too much fun without me right now.
Constantine: THAT’S why you bailed on this important dinner meeting I’m now handling alone? Get your ass here PRONTO.
Alessandro: Easy with the caps, bro. One of the three of us needs to get laid.
I laughed as I stepped into the elevator. They’d never change. I missed them, though. And at least I felt a bit calmer now before I faced Maria.
Me: I’ll leave you two to argue. Later.
I pocketed my phone and stepped onto our floor a moment later. We had the only two apartments on our level, and yeah, luck had nothing to do with the fact my neighbor abruptly moved out last November, freeing the place for Maria.
I knocked and rang the bell. After no answer, I checked the door handle, which was locked.
Good girl. I grabbed my keys from the gym bag and used the key she’d given me to let myself in.
“Maria?” I dropped my bag in the foyer and went into the living room in search of her.
The bedroom door was open, so I poked my head in, surprised to see Chiara on the bed, since it was her father’s night with her.
Chiara’s eyes widened as she let go of her favorite stuffed animal. She opened her arms and stood but lost her balance and fell back. “I thought you were with your dad, silly?”
“Enzo!” Maria exclaimed on my way to get Chiara, and I turned to see her exiting her bathroom in only black jeans and a lacy bra, and her tits were trying to escape the damn thing. Fuck. “Chiara spilled her juice on me while I was getting ready. I didn’t hear you ring, sorry.”
“Getting ready for your date?” I let go of a frustrated breath, tense all over again at the fact she had on such a sexy bra for her date. Did that mean she hoped someone would see it?
Maria’s brows lifted in surprise. “Who told you?”
“Maybe cover up before we talk?” I rasped, my voice a bit harsh, but she was testing my patience.
She didn’t pin her arms to her chest to hide her body as she walked closer to me, and a gorgeous smile slid across her red lips.
“Maria,” I hissed, and I turned and reached for Chiara.
I’d accidentally seen Maria in a bra twice while she’d been married. This was by far the most memorable, since she was single and I didn’t have to feel guilty about eyeing another man’s wife’s breasts. Of course, her husband had been an ass, so I’d never felt that bad about seeing her in a bra back then. I’d only been upset that I couldn’t swipe the pad of my thumb along the underside of her breast before placing her nipple between my teeth.
Chiara cupped my cheeks and smushed my lips, and my heart dropped like it always did when she exclaimed, “Dah-dah.”
I wish, sweetheart. I sighed and faced the storm coming. My Maria. And she’d always been mine, even when she was with Thomas. She owned my mind, heart, and soul. My fucking everything. I just couldn’t be with her for reasons I had no clue how to explain.
“Has she called you that before?” She lifted her perfectly shaped brows in question as she buttoned up a silky gold blouse, thankfully hiding her breasts before Chiara witnessed my control snap.
I looked back at Chiara and tried to talk, but she kept squishing my lips, so I nodded my answer. A few times.
Maria retreated to the bathroom, presumably to finish getting ready. And I peered at her adorable daughter, shifting Chiara’s shoulder-length dark hair away from her face. She had the same dark mass of curly hair as Maria, but Maria’s was often styled to be wavier instead. Her ex used to make her straighten it, though, and . . .
I sat on the bed, trying to discard my anger toward Chiara’s real “dah-dah” for being such a horrible human being. But the dark, shitty side of me was secretly glad he hadn’t been husband of the year. Because if he had, he’d still be with Maria right now. And Alessandro was right, my self-control had its limits. Maria may have been married when I moved here, but her eyes and the way she’d always looked at me betrayed her secret. Her eyes weren’t just a window to her soul. They were a mirror of my own thoughts and desires.
And fuck, I didn’t just want this woman, I craved her. Needed her like fire needed oxygen. But if I had her, then I’d do what fire did best—ravage and consume her. And then I’d ruin her life, because ruining lives was what I was good at. And that was why I was so hell-bent on not giving in to what we both so desperately longed for even though she was now single.
But Alessandro was right, I’d barely survived her relationship with Thomas. How would I handle someone new?
“I’m crazy, huh?” I asked Chiara in a soft voice while holding her little fingers, and she giggled her answer, as if saying, Yes, you are. I bounced my leg up and down like I knew she loved as Maria opened the bathroom door.
She folded her arms and leaned into the interior frame, and I took a moment to study her. Her hair was like a bed of silky waves that stopped just shy of her belly button. She wasn’t tall or short, about five-six, but in her heels right now, she was tall enough that if I fisted her thick hair and pulled, I could slant my mouth over hers without too much effort.
Her light-brown eyes and long lashes beneath those dark brows always did a number on me. And I could feel her gaze piercing me, so I gave her my attention and did my best not to imagine her on her knees looking up at me with hooded eyes.
“Were you working out when I texted?” I lost sight of her brown irises for a moment as she peered at Chiara bouncing on my thigh.
“I was sparring with Ryan, yeah. We were just finishing up.”
“So he told you about my date tonight?”
I nodded, and this news had her straightening, relaxing her arms at her sides as she crossed into the room as if delicately stepping over the invisible line that I’d done my best to maintain between us.
“Never offer yourself to me again,” I remembered telling her six years ago, and I’d meant every ugly word. If she wanted a happy life, untainted by the likes of me, then it was best if she never let me have her. Because I also meant what I told her three weeks ago, if she were to ever be mine, there wasn’t a chance in hell she’d ever be with anyone else. “I thought she was staying with Thomas tonight?” I steered my focus to the issue at hand—her dating someone. “What happened?”
“He had a work thing run late, so he bailed on me.” She frowned. “I was hoping you could watch Chiara.” At her words, she took her from me.
“You’re asking me to watch her while you’re on a date?” I slowly stood, and I was wrong, I still towered over her, even in her heels. “It’s only been five weeks since you’ve been divorced, maybe you should wait?”