Grandmother ignores my mother-in-law and speaks to me. “What you need is the Decoction of Four Substances, which will help with your Cold depletion. It’s the best strategy for regulating Blood and emotions for nearly every female disorder—from rashes to post-childbirth woes. Angelica root, lovage, white peony root, and rehmannia will warm your center and inspire stagnant Blood to leave your body and new Blood to come into being, thus replenishing your qi.”
Miss Zhao once spoke of creating a circle of good to protect me. A circle of women surrounds me now. Poppy and Inky take turns standing by the door so they can let us know when someone is approaching. Grandmother and Miss Zhao bathe me, feed me, position me above the honeypot, and help me with my clothes. Grandmother reads my pulses at least five times a day. Miss Zhao unwraps my bindings and cares for my feet, since I’m too ill to perform this most basic task. It’s difficult not to think of my mother in these moments.
Slowly I regain strength, and after ten days I’m able to dress myself and walk around the room. I’m allowed to hold Yuelan, and I hope the thread that bound us when she lived inside me can be knotted back together. It hurts every time I return her to the wet nurse.
Although I’m recovering, Grandmother gives me a warning one day when she and Miss Zhao come to visit. “I don’t want what happened to your mother to happen to you. She was haunted by sad yin emotions. This frailty allowed evil influences to take root in her body.”
I have to contradict her. “You weren’t there. She died from an infection in her feet.”
“I did not treat your mother. I only know what Miss Zhao and Poppy have told me.” Grandmother thrums her fingers on the table. “The point is, Wind has found your body. Now Wind knows just how easy it is to invade you. This susceptibility has made you vulnerable to the Six Pernicious Influences, especially Cold.”
She’s right, of course. I became ill when I first moved here, and now this. It’s to be expected that Wind will be seeking me from now on. It’s a discouraging thought.
“We’re lucky Meiling came to get us,” Grandmother says. “When you didn’t recognize her, she came straight to me. We are even more fortunate that you are like a pearl in your grandfather’s palm. He sent us here to find out what was happening.” After a long moment, she adds, “It is a good thing we came when we did.”
I don’t like to think I was close to death, so I ask, “And Miss Chen? How is she doing?”
“It’s so like you to think of others,” Miss Zhao comments.
“Midwife Shi performed her duties without incident. Both mother and son are doing well,” Grandmother says.
A son… I had hoped that was just an ugly dream.
“And,” Grandmother goes on, “Doctor Wong has decided to use only Meiling on his cases going forward. People are to call her Young Midwife now.”
This news is unexpected. I thought Lady Kuo told me Doctor Wong wanted both Midwife Shi and her daughter. Grandmother must sense my confusion, because she says, “You’ve been ill, so I guess no one has yet told you about Midwife Shi.”
“Is she all right?” I ask.
Grandmother’s response is opaque. “These male doctors—all devout followers of Confucius—recite their sayings about treating women and how many women will die in childbirth, but they have no understanding of what that means.”
I can tell she’s trying to avoid upsetting me. “Grandmother, please tell me what’s happened.”
“First Doctor Wong told people that Midwife Shi forced a woman to push too early, which resulted in the baby’s death, but I’ve watched her deliver many babies and she’s never done something so careless. Doctor Wong was there when another baby came out with a head plump with water. The girl died two days later, which all considered a blessing. Still, it was another death. Then a baby tried to enter the world with the cord around its neck. Midwife Shi told me she did everything possible to slip the cord over its shoulder. In the end… Never mind! You don’t want to know these things. They will distress you. And you shouldn’t discuss them with Meiling.” Grandmother sighs. “Babies and mothers die all the time, but one, two, three fatalities in a row? Is this fate, destiny, or bad fortune? I cannot say, but it’s a well-known fact that in cases of the death of a mother, fetus, or both, midwives are always blamed.”
“Then why would Doctor Wong use one at all?”
“You know the answer. Doctors like us don’t touch blood, and someone has to catch the baby. Even your grandfather grudgingly accepts these truths.”
“And maybe Doctor Wong is showing his benevolence in helping Meiling.”
“Maybe.”
After a moment, I ask, “Can’t you do something about Midwife Shi?”
Grandmother folds her hands and sets them in her lap. “You should know one more thing. Performing the autopsy on the spinster is another black mark against the midwife. Doctor Wong has labeled Midwife Shi too polluted to attend a birth in any elite family, including this one.”
“But inspecting the dead is not a new trade for Midwife Shi.”
“Of course it isn’t,” Grandmother admits. “But news of what happened here has spread like spilled grain, which rats have taken to every corner of Wuxi. For now, Midwife Shi has lost her reputation. No husband wants to risk his future son’s life. No doctor wants to be associated with bad results. Not even me.”
“All on Doctor Wong’s say-so?”
“Yes, on his say-so.” Grandmother stares into the middle distance. “My main responsibility is to the health and well-being of the women in our family. If I now used Midwife Shi for one of your aunties or cousins and there was a bad result, how could I face your grandfather?”
“Why haven’t Midwife Shi’s failures stained Meiling?” I ask. “It seems no household would risk using her either.”
“I agree. Gossip and suspicion are as sparks and tinder,” she answers. “But Doctor Wong is telling people he appreciated the way Meiling handled the difficulties of Yuelan’s birth. The written message on her foot saved both of you. How fortunate for Meiling that you taught her to write basic characters.”
I’m unsure how to interpret this. Is she praising Meiling for learning to read and write? Or is she criticizing Doctor Wong for his poor performance during my labor?
“I don’t care for Doctor Wong, as you may surmise,” she rasps. “But we must be grateful to him for giving Meiling work. I’ll use Young Midwife too. And you should be happy, since this means she’ll now be the midwife to this household—”
“Someone’s coming,” Inky hisses from the door.
“So tell me, Yunxian, does your husband prefer to eat chicken or duck?” Grandmother asks, quickly changing the subject.
* * *
After another week, Poppy informs me that my husband is to visit. It will be our first time seeing each other since the embarrassing interlude with Doctor Wong. I dress in an embroidered silk tunic over an underskirt of fine silk gauze that will wisp behind me when I walk. I brush my hair, twisting it into a high bun decorated with gold and jade pins. I comb my bangs to fringe across my forehead like cormorant feathers. Grandmother and the others compliment me on how lovely I look, and then they depart to allow me time alone with my husband. I cradle Yuelan in my arms. She’s almost seven weeks old, and I’m grateful to the wet nurse for how pudgy she is. Maoren enters and sits next to me. He gazes at us with eyes of love, but when he speaks, his words shred my spirit.
“You’ve been ill a long while,” he says, “so you may not be fully aware of how much time has passed. In three days, I will leave the Garden of Fragrant Delights to take up my final months of study in Nanjing before the municipal exams.”
I close my eyes so tears can’t escape.
“I’ll miss you,” I say.
“I’ll miss you too.” He brings one of my hands to his lips and kisses the palm.
“I’m sorry I brought you a daughter.”
“Please don’t apologize. You’ll have a son next time.”
I must be brave, as my mother was when my father traveled for his work, as my grandmother was when my grandfather was stationed in Nanjing, and as Lady Kuo is when my father-in-law sojourns to the countryside to check on his land, crops, factories, and all the people who labor on our behalf.
“I suspect you’ll need books to help in your studies,” I say. “Will you let me buy them for you?”
Maoren smiles. “Father has purchased everything I need, but your offer tells me not only that you’re a good and proper wife but that we truly are a pair of mandarin ducks.”
“Floating together side by side. Mated for life.” For me, these are no longer words simply to be recited. The sentiments are real.
“I bring other news,” Maoren says. “Your grandfather is here.”
My heart leaps.
“He’s with my father right now,” Maoren goes on. “Instead of being sad at my parting, please be happy that you will see your grandfather shortly.”
Maoren stays a few more minutes. He sips tea. He tells me that our baby is pretty. He gives his regrets that I’ve been ailing. “It hurts me that we have not been able to be together again as man and wife, but Doctor Wong says this is how it must be until you’ve completely recovered.”