Before I can step aside, the company splits down the middle and runs around me, so close I can feel the breeze from the air they displace like I’m a boulder in the middle of their rushing creek. I hold completely still to avoid impact, not even daring to breathe as they run by.
When the last of them pass, I exhale, then continue into the bailey. A group of healers crosses in front of my path, and when they clear, I see Xaden striding toward me across the courtyard, his face unreadable. My heart stutters, then pounds, but I make myself move forward.
Not sure how it’s possible, but I simultaneously want to climb the man and kick him hard in the shins.
There’s a group of riders in the courtyard behind Xaden, but they’re only a blur of black because I can’t look away from him, can’t see past him. As complicated as our connection is, it’s also undeniably simple. He’s the horizon, and nothing exists beyond for me.
“I’m going to have to force your hand and I’m sorry,” he says quickly as he approaches, cutting through my shields like they’re nothing but lace where he’s concerned.
“What else is new?” I pause, noting that everyone between us gets out of his way.
“You have about two seconds to decide if you want time to talk in private tonight.” He’s less than a dozen feet from me.
“Not sure you want to be alone with me, considering what I’m carrying.” I bristle. That’s the first thing he has to say to me after the way he cut out last week?
“Choose.”
“Yes. Of course I want to talk to you in private.”
“Tell me to kiss you. Even if it’s just for show.” There are only heartbeats between us now, and he’s not slowing.
“What?”
“Now, Violet. Or you’ll be sleeping in someone else’s room tonight.” The look in his eyes demands an instant answer. Right. Because he told me months ago he’d only kiss me when I asked him to. He reaches for me, one hand sliding to the back of my neck and the other bracing my waist as our bodies collide.
The impact sends every sense reeling.
“Kiss me.” Just for show.
“I missed you,” he says a second before his mouth crashes into mine.
“You walked out on me,” I accuse, nipping the soft skin of his bottom lip with my teeth.
“Fight later.” His hand slides along my face, and he presses his thumb just above my chin. “Now kiss me like you mean it.”
“Since you asked so nicely.” I part my lips under his and immediately regret every second I’ve spent not kissing him lately.
I whimper at the first stroke of his tongue along mine, and his hand flexes on my waist, gripping me tighter as he sinks into the kiss. Yes. One touch, that’s all it takes, and the world around us ceases to exist. This is everything. The energy thrumming in the air around us pales in comparison to the power that floods my veins, the need that ignites within me as we both work to control the kiss.
He wins, consuming me, devouring every thought in my head besides getting closer. The bags slide from my shoulders, hitting the ground beside me with a thud, and I wind my arms around his neck, arching against him. I kiss him back like my life depends on his surrender and tilt my head for that perfect angle. He finds it without even trying, taking the kiss deeper, stealing little pieces of my soul with each swirl and slide of his tongue with an expertise I can’t fight.
I can’t remember why I ever wanted to.
Why would I deny myself the explosive pleasure of kissing Xaden? This is when we make sense. When nothing else matters but the feel of his lips, the flick of his tongue behind my teeth, the lust burning through me I know only he can fully sate. My heart gallops and my body floats as my hands slide into his soft hair.
Weightless. He makes me feel totally, completely weightless, like it’s possible to fly on nothing but waves of sensation.
Gods, I fucking want him. Just like this. Just us.
“Violet.” It’s a mental groan as his mouth thoroughly lays claim to mine. “Oh for fuck’s sake.” A familiar voice intrudes on my own little piece of heaven, and that’s when I remember.
This is supposed to be for show, and here I am, completely losing myself in him. In the middle of the courtyard. In front of gods only know who. And that weightless feeling? It’s because I’m anchored against his chest by one of his strong arms, my feet dangling off the ground.
“Good enough show for you?” I draw back slowly, dragging my teeth across his bottom lip before releasing him.
“Fuck the show.” His eyes flare with the same heat that has me ready to combust. At least I’m not the only one losing control. I know that look on his face. He’s just as turned on as I am.
He kisses me again, losing his polished finesse in favor of untamed demand, and I melt.
“Put my sister down, Riorson. You made your point.” That familiar voice— My head whips to the right, breaking the kiss. “Mira?”
She taps her fingers along her folded arms, but her stern expression—eerily close to our mother’s—doesn’t last more than a breath before her mouth curves into a smile. “Good to see you, Vi.”
“What are you doing here?” I grin as Xaden sets me down. Then I step over the discarded bag to hug my sister.
“As of yesterday, I’m stationed here.” She holds me tightly, just like she always does, then pushes me away by the shoulders to do her customary inspection for mortal wounds.
“I’m fine,” I promise her.
“Are you sure?” Her hands move to the sides of my head, and she rises up on her tiptoes to look down at me. “Because I’m thinking you must have taken a pretty serious blow to the head to be involved with this one.”
I blink. What the hell am I supposed to say to that?
“Play along, or you’ll be in her room tonight. Not mine,” Xaden tells me.
“She’s been more than adamant.”
“Right, well…” Shit, I really don’t want to lie to my sister any more than I have to.
“I’m going to take your bags to my room,” Xaden says, helping me out of the pack on my back, then picking up the two I dropped.
“Thank you,” I say mostly out of habit.
He leans in and brushes a kiss over my forehead. “I have duty today.”
“No,” I whisper, my stomach dropping in disappointment. That doesn’t exactly leave us time to talk—which is probably the point. “I guess we can’t fight if we don’t talk?”
“We’ll have time later,” he promises. “Have fun with your sister. I’ll see you tonight.” He brushes a flight-loosened strand of my hair behind my ear and grazes his knuckles gently down the side of my cheek.
“All right.” If it wasn’t all for show, I’d be a puddle. And the heat in his eyes when they meet mine for a second? I’m instantly warm despite the mountain air.
“Don’t let her set anything on fire,” he says over his shoulder to Mira as he walks away, heading for the corridor near the southwestern staircase.
I scoff, but that doesn’t stop me from watching him go.
“Keep your shields up.”
“It’s not like they help block you out.”
“Told you, I’m harder than most,” he replies. “Keep them up anyway. It’s not me you have to worry about.”
“He’s…carrying your bags up to his room for you,” Mira says slowly, moving to my side and glancing between Xaden’s retreating back and me.
“He is.” I nod. Or is he? The ache in my chest turns bitter. Maybe he’s actually taking two of those bags to a drop point and leaving me with Mira to distract me. I hate that I can’t trust him, that he can’t trust me, that we’re at this impasse.
“Oh shit,” Mira mutters.
“What?” I sigh as he disappears into the building.
“You’re not just fucking him, are you? You’re falling for him.” She stares at me like I’ve lost my mind.
My gaze swings to hers, and though I know I should, I can’t lie to her. Not about this. “Not exactly.”
“Who do you think you’re fooling? He basically swallowed you whole, and now you’re watching him with those big, soft eyes that are practically oozing with”—she gestures at my face, her nose crinkling like she smells something bad—“what even is that? Yearning? Infatuation?”
I roll my eyes.