“Which is stupid,” Claire said, the pitch of her voice rising. “You clearly like each other. She’s all you ever talk about in the group chat.”
Iris winced but smoothed it out quickly. “We’re together all the time because of the play.”
“Perfect situation to develop feelings,” Jordan said.
Iris sighed. “Look, I’m helping Stevie, okay? She’s a little nervous when it comes to hookups, so—”
“I don’t think you’re being honest with yourself, Iris,” Astrid said.
Iris gritted her teeth. Astrid had spent years pretending her entire life was perfect, and ever since she liberated herself from a job she hated—not to mention her mother’s expectations for what her life should look like—she had an extremely sensitive bullshit meter. Hardly anyone could pull a frown without Astrid probing them to be honest with themselves.
“I’m being perfectly honest,” Iris said. “You all know I don’t—”
“Date,” all four women said in unison.
Iris pursed her mouth. “Good. We’re all on the same page, then.”
“What we don’t understand is why,” Claire said, then she scooted closer to Iris, that maternal look on her face she got whenever her daughter, Ruby, had a meltdown. “Honey, I know you’ve been hurt. You’ve had some real assholes in your life, but that’s got nothing to do with you.”
Iris laughed sarcastically, then grabbed Claire’s wine and took a swig. She’d heard this all before. More than once in the last year, Claire had tried to have this conversation with her, sometimes with Astrid in tow, sometimes alone. But they didn’t get it. They didn’t understand what it was like to realize the common denominator to all her shitty relationships was, in fact, her.
It had everything to do with Iris.
“Claire, don’t,” she said. “Please. Just let me sit here and drink, okay?”
“Why do you feel the need to drink if you’re fine with Stevie and Jenna?” Astrid asked.
“Seriously?” Iris said, looking to Delilah for support.
“Don’t look at me,” Delilah said, presenting her palms. “I’m on their side.”
“So there are sides now,” Iris said.
“In terms of you self-sabotaging everything good in your life, yeah,” Delilah said.
Iris’s mouth dropped open. She didn’t fucking self-sabotage everything good. She worked hard. She loved her friends—well, maybe not so much right now, but usually. She’d built a business from the ground up and she was smart enough to know when it was time to walk away from that business. She put herself out there with her writing, and it had paid off. She was the lead in a play, and she was giving it her all. But now, just because she didn’t want to lock herself into a relationship that would eventually end, she was self-sabotaging.
Well, fuck that.
“You know what?” she said, grabbing her bag from where Delilah had laid it on the booth. “I’m gonna go.”
“Honey, no, don’t,” Claire said. “All we’re saying is—”
“I know what you’re saying,” she said. “Loud and clear, okay?”
She got out of the booth before anyone could say anything else awful and shoved herself into the dancing crowd. She scanned the floor for Stevie, quickly finding her sitting with Jenna at a table, deep in conversation.
She watched them for a second and . . . yeah. All the signs were there. They were leaning close, only a few inches between their faces. Jenna’s hands crossed the middle line of the table, well into Stevie’s space, and every now and then, as though to emphasize something she said, Jenna placed a finger on Stevie’s wrist.
And Stevie . . . she was smiling. Laughing, even. She looked relaxed and beautiful and perfect and something in Iris’s chest started to ache.
Stevie looked up and caught her eye.
Smiled.
And Iris smiled back. She nodded toward the door, then offered Stevie a thumbs-up in question.
Stevie’s smile faded, but only for a second. Iris watched her throat work and could almost feel Stevie’s deep breath. But then Stevie nodded, presenting her own thumbs-up in return.
Okay, then, Iris thought. Mission accomplished.
And without another glance in Stevie’s direction, she turned away, pushed open Stella’s heavy door, and left.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
STEVIE WATCHED IRIS leave, a sinking in her stomach she couldn’t explain.
“Hey, you okay?” Jenna asked, one of her fingers tapping Stevie’s arm.
Stevie looked back at her. She really was pretty. And sweet. So sweet. When they’d danced, she’d held Stevie tenderly, asked her questions about acting. It wasn’t the wild first encounter she’d had with Iris, but that was probably a good thing, as that hadn’t exactly turned out well.
No, Jenna was calm. She was slow and safe, and Stevie knew she was the perfect person to be with right now. Maybe even date. Stevie could see it—going to dinner with Jenna, holding hands in an ice cream shop, watching rom-coms on a rainy Saturday afternoon.
Jenna made sense.
“Yeah,” Stevie said.
“Do you want to dance again?” Jenna asked as another slow song came on.
“Absolutely,” Stevie said.
They stood and ambled out to the dance floor hand in hand. Stevie took a deep breath and pulled Jenna close. She led the dance, trailing her fingers up Jenna’s back and down to her waist before settling on her lovely wide hips. Jenna rested her head against Stevie’s, her fingers in her hair, pulling gently.
God, it felt good.
Stevie closed her eyes, her breath picking up, but not in a panicked way. She turned her head just a little, so Jenna’s mouth grazed her cheek, then kept turning when she heard Jenna’s own breath speed up.
“Okay?” she asked when their mouths were close, and Jenna nodded. Then Stevie kissed her. It was delicate and soft and perfect, and Stevie was absolutely not thinking about anyone else in this moment.
Not a wild redhead.
Not a loud and tender Beatrice.
Not a fake girlfriend with a single blue freckle.
“Do you want to go back to my place?” Jenna asked when they’d parted.
Stevie blinked, her stomach fluttering. But yes. Yes, of course she wanted to go back to Jenna’s place. That’s what all of this was for, and goddammit, she didn’t want to face Iris at rehearsal tomorrow and tell her she’d chickened out. So she nodded and Jenna smiled and before Stevie knew it, the two were walking down a cobbled Bright Falls street holding hands, reaching Jenna’s apartment in a couple of blocks.
“This is me,” Jenna said, unlocking a unit on the third floor. The building was cute, only three stories tall, and was on the other side of Main from Iris’s place.
“Great,” Stevie said, stepping into the small space. It was clean and modern, all gray walls and furniture, bright splashes of coral and aqua pillows and artwork here and there. A calico cat rubbed against Stevie’s legs.
“Oh, that’s Nyla. You’re not allergic, are you?” Jenna asked.
“No,” Stevie said, leaning down to scratch the cat’s head.
“Let me just feed her and then I’m all yours,” Jenna said as she disappeared into the kitchen. “Want something to drink?”
“Water is fine,” Stevie said, inching into the living room. Her palms were a little sweaty and she wiped them on the back of her shorts, then took off her hat and set it on the couch.
“Here you go,” Jenna said, handing her a glass of water.
“Thanks.” She took a single sip, eyes locked on Jenna, and then set the drink on an end table before reaching out and circling an arm around her.
“Oh,” Jenna said, laughing, her hands going to Stevie’s arms. “Down to business, then?”
“Yeah,” Stevie said, her voice only a little shaky. “If that’s okay.”
“More than okay,” Jenna said, then leaned forward and kissed Stevie.
Stevie gripped her hips and kissed her back. She tasted delicious, like wine and sun, and she definitely knew how to use her tongue. It was a perfect kiss, a kiss that promised other things. Stevie’s stomach gave a tiny, barely-there lurch, so she focused.