“You okay?” he asks, for the fortieth time, and for the fortieth time I say I’m fine, because it’s easier than saying no and then having to deal with why.
“I’m sorry.” I apologize for the millionth time for getting caught up, for not paying attention, for all of it.
Ellery gets a little wrinkle of consternation between his eyebrows. He reaches a long arm out, snags my ankle from underneath my blanket, and then pulls me across the couch until I’m next to him.
Well, that was hot.
“We’ve been over this, Noah,” he tells me softly. “You have nothing to be sorry for. You should be able to run wherever the hell you want and be safe. Your first shift should have been nothing but playing, bonding, and discovering just what your wolf is capable of. I’m sorry that it wasn’t.”
I roll my eyes at him. “Listen, if I’m not allowed to be sorry, then neither are you,” I point out, and he chuckles.
Perth comes down the stairs from the office, spots us, and walks over to plop down on my other side. I bounce on the cushion and can’t help the smile that sneaks across my face as he settles in next to me.
“She still trying to apologize?” Perth asks, like the situation is that easy to read.
“Yep,” Ellery confirms, and I scoff.
“He did it too,” I tattle, and Perth gives me a dazzling grin that makes me forget how to breathe for a second.
He grabs my hand and starts tracing the lines in my palm with his finger. “God, I can’t wait to sink my teeth into those fuckers who tried to claim you,” Perth declares casually, but the flicker of his wolf brightening his eyes for a second tells me there’s nothing casual about it.
“We’re going to rip their necks open and bathe in their blood,” Ellery growls in agreement, and I have to stop myself from fidgeting in my seat or fanning my lady bits, because damn.
I’m not sure when declarations of violence started to feel like foreplay. But they certainly do now. Hello!
I rub my thighs together as subtly as I can underneath the blanket, but I’m pretty sure the guys know exactly what’s going on. Ellery gives me a heated look before he focuses back on his computer.
Gannon clomps down the stairs and sits on the end of the massive couch, away from the three of us. His eyes hone in on the way Perth is still playing with my hand, and a nervous little flutter works through me. Ruger strides into the living room with a bowl in his hands.
“More donuts?” he asks softly before handing me my fourth serving of homemade powdered sugar donut holes. They’ve been helping me power through not just post-shift exhaustion, but post-traumatic stress.
“Thanks,” I offer warmly as I sit up. He waits while I roll back the sleeves of Perth’s shirt so I can take the bowl from him. Then Ruger reaches out and cups my cheek for just a second. His green eyes are strong and steady as his gaze roams over my face, and I soak in his strength, leaning into his tattooed hand. His thumb strokes me gently for a moment before he pulls away, turns, and heads back into the kitchen.
Each time one of the guys walks by, they touch me as if they can’t stand not to. Their palms sweep across my upper back, their hands cup my shoulders. Once, Ellery even buried his fingers in my hair and massaged my scalp.
They’re comforting me, but I’m pretty fucking sure they’re also scent marking me, because each touch leaves behind a lingering bit of their essence.
I’m totally here for it.
After the horrid, terrifying feeling of being stalked by another den, after hearing their delusional determination inside my head, I want all the safety and security I can get.
Ellery’s phone rings and he answers it, greeting his dad.
I turn to whisper a question to Perth. “If Ellery and the alpha can mindspeak, why do they call each other on the phone?”
Perth huffs out a small laugh. “Mindspeak can feel intrusive at times, so we use it sparingly, mostly for really important things. Our den has a ‘no mindspeak interruptions at work’ policy. Unless it’s an emergency. There are some limitations when it comes to distance and things like that, but for the most part, everyone tries to be respectful and courteous,” he explains, and I nod my head.
“The orc operatives are on their way. My dad’s stuck at the pack house, but he sent a beta to bring them over,” Ellery announces, setting his laptop aside and getting up. “They should be here soon.”
“I’ll go talk to them with you,” Ruger volunteers from the other room.
“Sounds good.”
“It’s time to check in with the enforcers and run the perimeter again,” Perth declares, and he leans over and plants an innocent peck on my lips before getting up and walking out with the other two.
I stare after them, slightly astonished as I lift the hand that Perth was playing with and press my fingers to my lips. You’d think he just kissed the ever-loving shit out of me with the way I’m sitting here stupefied, and in a weird way, he did.
That little no-big-deal peck was just so natural and easy, and it has me suddenly thinking of all the quick everyday kisses that could be mine. They’d line up next to the silly little nicknames that always pop up in a relationship and the inside jokes that become part of a couple’s vernacular over time.
I look over to see Gannon still watching me, and I drop my hand from my lips, trying to cover up the girly shit I was just daydreaming about by popping a donut in my mouth. I close my eyes and give a satisfied groan, savoring the perfect bite the way it deserves. I go to pop another one in my mouth and catch Gannon adjusting himself on the other side of the couch.
An awkward silence seeps into the room and pollutes my peace while I eat. He and I haven’t spent as much time alone as I have with the rest of his den, and it keeps things from feeling as relaxed as they do with the others. It also doesn’t help that our alone time has been mostly contentious up to this point.
But we ran together today. That’s something, right?
It was surprisingly fun. There was no sense of lingering hurt or friction then. Our attraction to one another seemed to overpower everything else.
My nipples tighten as I remember our kiss out on the deck. Attraction nearly overpowered everything else then too.
My eyes drift over to Gannon, and I meet his steely gray gaze. He inhales deliberately and I can tell that my scent has changed. My cheeks color because he knows exactly what I’m thinking about, and he doesn’t need to go digging in my head to find it.
He’s wearing the most casual outfit I think I’ve seen him in—a white T-shirt and loose black gym pants. He stretches one arm across the armrest while the other stretches along the back of the couch. His intense gaze watches me as though I might implode at any moment.
I just might.
I shift on the couch and avoid his eyes as I mutter, “How’s a girl supposed to freak out around here when these damn shifter hormones keep interfering with my well-deserved breakdown?”
I can hear the smug smirk in his voice when he counters, “Maybe your hormones are telling you how to deal with that breakdown.”