“Take them.”
She carefully picks up the bowl of red crystal shards and carries them into the hall. Bucky shuts the door behind her, careful not to meet my alarmed gaze.
Why do I have to be stuck here with the furious alpha and they all get to escape?
“You need a minute?” I shakily ask Ellery, whose veins started to blacken the second the bowl left the room.
His pupils dilate and he licks his lips as he stares down at me. All that anger converts to something else.
Oh shit.
“I need—” Ellery steps forward into my body, and I take a step back, bumping up against the wall. He presses in close to me, so close that the heat of his body soaks into mine.
The world around us stills, and a devious little threat of desire ties me up in knots. My hands don’t know what to do or where to move, and suddenly they’re on his chest. I can feel his heartbeat underneath his uniform, and it’s meteoric. Inhumanly fast. Mine speeds up to match his as my throat dries out.
“Can I, please?” He doesn’t finish his sentence, almost as if words are too hard for him to form right now.
I can’t blame him, because my vocabulary has shrunk to basic sounds. Nerves skitter through me at his proximity, and yet I want him closer. I feel this visceral need to know that he’s alright, but for some reason, words don’t seem the best way to do that. No, my body is pushing me to shove my nose into the crook of his fucking neck and wrap myself around him.
Insanity.
And then he leans down, planting one hand on the wall next to my head, my wrist still gently but firmly locked in the grip of his other hand. Our eyes meet and the pent-up desire pouring from him floods me as if it’s my own. Or maybe it is my own. I can’t tell.
I stop breathing.
There’s an intensity to this moment that goes beyond anything I’ve ever experienced before. It feels like diving into an ice-cold lake and having every nerve in your body come alive at the same time.
His face comes down, closer and closer. “Noah,” he murmurs my name, and it’s the most erotic thing I’ve ever heard. His eyelids flutter shut.
I keep mine open. I don’t want to miss a second.
When Ellery’s lips brush mine, the ground rushes up at me because gravity forgets itself. He catches me, and I realize it’s not gravity but my legs that have given out. He smiles against my lips as he pushes me into the wall so that I can’t fall down again. And then his lips begin to nip and suck. He ravages my mouth desperately. Feverishly.
My arms wrap around the back of his neck, and my fingernails start to carve half-moons into his skin, marking him, staking my claim…my claim.
But doing so drags me out of the moment. Shit. I’m not ready for forever. For the permanence of the mate claim. I rip my lips away and bring a hand to them, feeling how plump and sore and deliciously well-kissed they are.
Fuck.
I want this kiss. I want more kisses, but is it smart? Will it mean what he wants it to mean?
Fuck. I don’t know, and for that reason, I push him back.
He lets me, makes no move to convince me to give him what he so clearly wants. I hate that I don’t give in. My body hates me even more, but I’m not going to play around with emotions I don’t understand and am not ready to return.
Heart pounding, I step around him and speed walk for the door. I want him, more than I’ve ever wanted anything, but that scares the shit out of me. I’m not prepared for this. Not prepared at all. I grab the handle and yank it open, fleeing to the safety and sanity of the hall.
A low, pained howl is the last thing I hear before the door to the conference room shuts behind me, locking the mournful sound away. I can’t help feeling like I’ve made the right choice and the wrong one all at the same time, and I have no idea where that leaves me.
Fucked, that’s where. Completely and utterly fucked.
18
NOAH
Karen takes one look at me and announces, “Retail therapy STAT!” and then pretends to shock me with an imaginary defibrillator. Before I can protest, she grabs my hand and pulls me after her through the maze of cubicles and out toward the front of the precinct. “No more hobo chic for you, Poodle, it’s time to show these boys what you’re workin’ with. Let’s go slut you up!”
“Ew, Karen, nobody says shit like that,” I argue, stopping in the middle of the lobby and side-eyeing her.
“Pretty sure I’m someone and I just said it,” she counters matter-of-factly. “And come on, you know you’ve got cake. Let’s make those boys wanna blow your candles out.”
I roll my eyes and fight an annoying smile from taking over my mouth. “Are you in middle school?”
Karen just cackles, a true evil witch cackle that makes me grin as I shake my head. She snatches my hand again and yanks me out of the front doors. As much as I hate shopping, I’m glad to leave the tension with Ellery behind for a bit. This is what I need. Something uncomplicated and silly to wipe away the aftertaste of uncertainty.
“We’ll be a little early for our appointment, but it’s close enough. Trista and Astrid won’t mind.” Karen links her arm with mine.
As we head down the steps, I note that the wind has picked up a little, and while the sun is still warming my shoulders, dark clouds are collecting along the horizon.
“No. Back off. This is girl time,” Karen snaps, suddenly vicious, pulling me closer.
Wondering what could have caused that over-the-top reaction, I glance to my side and spot two familiar figures lurking on the sidewalk. Perth is leaning against a squad car in jeans and a T-shirt, and Ruger’s standing next to him in all black, his tattoos and muscles on full display.
Fuck. My thighs tighten as attraction spreads through me like the flu with its accompanying fever and chills. My body almost feels shaky with need.
Shit. Can they tell?
My eyes lock onto them, and I stare them up and down like I’m starving. Or a perv. Or fuck, I’m not sure. All I know for certain is I want a police calendar with both of them posing shirtless on it. Maybe holding puppies so I can pretend I bought it for the animals. I have to swallow hard as my steps automatically slow when Perth catches sight of me and straightens. He smiles at me, and then so does Ruger.
Individually, they’re both hot. Dual smiles though? Shit. It’s sensory overload in every possible way. Complete logical meltdown. I can’t help it—my belly tightens and a soft smile creases my lips.
“Goddammit, don’t get puppy-eyed on me. That’s fucking gross.” Karen elbows me in the ribs.
“You just wanted me to slut up for them,” I hiss under my breath at her.
The guys’ smiles widen, and I wonder if they’re reading my unruly thoughts or if their hearing is better than I realized.
“Yeah, so you could show them who’s in charge. None of this dewy-eyed damsel crap.” She fakes a gag.
But her words startle me a little because…did I just look like I was fawning?