“Because of the jerk ex-boyfriend? I’ve never wanted to hit someone so much in my entire life. I was worried about letting you leave with him, but I didn’t know what else to do.”
I break his stare and swallow down the emotions rising to the surface when I think about that night. He couldn’t have done anything. I know that, but the what-if scenarios still taunt me. “No, not because of him. I can take care of myself.”
“I have no doubt,” he says in a playful voice that causes me to look back at him. He really is too handsome for his own good. Some of that playfulness takes on a serious edge when he adds, “I really did look for you. Every game I kept hoping you’d show up again.”
I have no idea how to respond to that. Do I even believe him? I finally settle on, “I don’t really like hockey.”
“How come?”
“I don’t understand it, and everything moves so fast.”
“No, not that. How come you aren’t dating right now?”
“Oh. I’m too busy.”
“With?”
“School and work.” I wave a hand around the room. “The stress of dealing with patients who won’t sleep at night.”
That pulls a smile out of him. “That’s it? I’ll be on my best behavior. Promise.”
“You? Doubtful.”
“I’ll have you know I’m a gentleman.”
“Sorry.”
“Too busy,” he says quietly. “That’s an excuse I haven’t heard in a while.”
We both know I could make time for dating if that was the real issue. He manages, and I know his schedule must be insane. Then again, everyone Ash dates probably lets him dictate everything from when and where they go out to how often they have sex. Which I bet is a lot, as cocky as this man is. And now I’m thinking about having sex with him. Dammit. Why can’t I keep my thoughts out of the gutter?
Frustrated, I shake my head. “I’m going to lunch. I’ll check in again when I get back.”
“Okay,” he says, voice despondent.
I get all the way to the door before I pause and reconsider, but I force myself to go. He needs rest and I need to catch my breath. This day, this month, has been a lot.
On my way downstairs, I eat a protein bar. The elevator doors open on the pediatric unit. Mindy, the charge nurse on the floor, looks up and smiles when she sees me.
“Is she up?” I ask her, tipping my head toward the direction of the patient rooms.
Mindy nods. “Yeah. I think she was hoping you’d stop by.”
“Thanks.” I smile and head down the hall. Everything on the pediatric floor feels warmer, happier. It’s decorated basically identical to every other unit, but the air is different I swear.
Kids have this amazing ability to find joy in every situation. It’s one of the big reasons I want to work here eventually. I don’t ever want to stop finding the joy. No matter how bad things seem.
At Liza’s room, I knock quietly and peek in.
“Come in,” she calls over the TV. She sits at the end of her bed watching the screen on the wall in front of her. She turns quickly to see who it is, then does a double take and a big smile spreads across her face. She tries to hide it quickly, but her smile won’t cooperate. “Hey.”
“Hi.” I walk all the way into the room and toss a new book of Sudoku puzzles on the bed next to her. “Can’t sleep?”
“It’s barely midnight.” She snorts and tosses her red hair over one shoulder. “Besides, I have three episodes left in this series.”
I glance at the screen. “What is it about?”
“It’s too hard to explain, but that girl in the hospital bed fell off a cliff as she was about to get with the guy she likes. He confessed that he’d been in love with her for years, but now she has amnesia and doesn’t remember any of it.”
“She was going to get with that guy?” I ask as on the TV a dark-headed, broody-looking guy appears next to the hospital bed with tears in his eyes.
“No. That’s a different guy. She was dating him, but secretly had feelings for the other guy. This dude is all wrong for her.”
I laugh and take a seat on the bed next to her. “Sounds complicated.”
She shrugs one shoulder and takes a drink of juice.
“How’s your blood sugar?”
“Shit, obviously. I’m here.”
I laugh softly and she gives me a rueful smile. “I’m dehydrated and my sugars are a mess.”
I check her chart while she keeps watching the TV. She’s improved since they admitted her this morning, so that’s good.
Liza was my very first patient. I was doing clinicals when she was admitted to the hospital and diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. For the past nine months, she’s been in and out as they struggle to get her levels steady. Her parents both have big corporate jobs and most of the time she’s here by herself. They visit, but it’s not like the other kids who have parents hovering over them for their entire visit. Even when she was here the first time, her mom only stayed the first night and the rest of the time she visited for an hour or two once a day.
Liza’s sixteen, plenty old enough to be left alone, I guess, but it frustrates me that they leave her alone so much while she’s sick. That’s probably why I bonded with her so deeply. I felt this huge responsibility to make sure she had someone looking out for her.
Mindy lets me know any time Liza is admitted and I try to come down during my lunch break. The sassy teenager is a total night owl, which works out nice for me since I don’t take my long break until around midnight.
“I heard you had some famous hockey player on your floor. Is it true?” She takes her attention off the screen long enough to look at me as she asks the question.
“How’d you hear that?”
“Please. That’s all anyone has been talking about. Have you met him?”
“Yep. I sure did.”
“Really?” Liza pauses the TV and turns on the bed to face me. Her eyes light up. “You met Ash Kelly?!”
“A second ago he was ‘some famous hockey player.’”
She rolls her eyes dramatically. “My dad watches hockey and sometimes I sit with him so we can spend time together.”
My chest squeezes at her admission and I like her dad even less than before. I wonder if he has any idea his daughter is trying so hard to get his attention.
“So, tell me, what’s he like?”
“He’s…fine.”
“Fine?” She studies me closely, then stiffens. “Is he an asshole? Was he mean to you?”
The fire in her eyes at the thought of someone treating me badly is heartwarming.
“No,” I say quickly. I don’t want her to get the wrong idea. Ash might be frustrating, but I’m pretty certain that he’s not a jerk. “He’s fine. Normal.”
“I’m not buying it. You’re not telling me something.”
Now I’m rolling my eyes. “There’s nothing to tell. He just won’t sleep.”
“O-kay,” she says the word slowly like she’s trying to decide why that’s a problem.
“He needs rest to heal and instead of doing that like I keep suggesting, he’s wandering the halls and signing autographs for every person on the floor.”
Liza nods slowly. “He’s probably just bored or lonely.”