Bowen’s jaw goes tight. “We’re not supposed to interfere with the citizens of Threshold.”
Easy enough to read between the lines. It’s not even surprising that the C?n Annwn would overreach. Anytime there’s power to be had, there’s power to be misused. Threshold isn’t exempt from that rule. Absolute power corrupts absolutely, and all that.
“Then she’s still a threat. It won’t take her long to figure out she can’t kill her way to me or the family jewels on the Crimson Hag. She’ll take a different route.”
“You sound almost relieved.”
I am, damn it. Or at least I should be. I shiver. Bowen tucks his cloak more firmly around me. He wraps his arms around me for good measure. As much as I appreciate the comfort, it does little to combat the conflicted feelings inside me. “I won’t say I loved her, because that wasn’t what we were to each other. But I’m fool enough to give at least part of my heart to the people I sleep with. I don’t want her dead. If she comes for me, I’ll do whatever it takes to survive, but really I’m going to hope that she never finds me again.” If I can find another portal to hop through, it becomes less likely. Threshold is littered with them, so it’s just a matter of going through one that she doesn’t expect.
Which means leaving Bowen behind. For real this time.
CHAPTER 24
Bowen
AFTER GETTING EVELYN’S THINGS INTO MY CABIN, I leave her to get settled and go in search of Dia. Unsurprisingly, I find her near the stern, smoking. I prop my elbows on the railing next to her and exhale slowly. “You were there when they voted me out. How likely is Miles to pursue branding me a traitor for letting the dragon flee?”
She blows a smoke ring. “He will want to do it for spite, but a brand-new captain is in a precarious position. The crew might not like what you did with the dragon, or how you handled the witch, but you have many years of goodwill built up, even if their confidence in you waned in recent months. When they voted you out, they were very clear in their wishes. They don’t want you dead—they just don’t want you as captain anymore. Miles is too smart to push something that might turn them against him.” She pauses to inhale deeply. “I wouldn’t go handing him a knife and turning my back, but I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”
It’s what I wanted to hear, and yet it makes me feel so empty. “They just … sailed away.”
“Yep.” Dia offers me her joint and shrugs when I shake my head. “That’s one thing Ezra failed to teach you. The C?n Annwn may paint themselves in crimson and importance, but at their heart, they are a fleet of pirates. Pirates look out for themselves, Bowen. It’s time you do the same.”
I want to push back against what she’s saying. But it feels like another set of scales falling from my eyes. How many times have I looked at captains like Hedd and hated how they gave the C?n Annwn a bad name? They bully the locals and use the mantle of protectors to take what they think is owed to them. It’s not straight-up thievery if it’s a gift, even if that gift was the result of intimidation and underhanded threats. Sometimes they even hurt people, though any rumors or accusations I’ve heard have died quiet deaths before reaching the Council.
Or maybe they were snuffed out by the Council themselves.
The growing suspicion makes me sick to my stomach. “There aren’t many ships that are run the way Ezra and I ran the Crimson Hag, are there?”
“Nope.”
I nod. “Thank you for always being honest with me, even when I didn’t want to hear what you had to say.”
Dia snorts. “There you go again, being the best of us. Return to your witch, Bowen. No matter what course she takes, she’s going to need you before the end of this.”
I plan on doing exactly that. But I have one more stop to make first.
I find Nox at the helm. They look tired, but then, by my best guess, they’ve held more shifts on than off. Hedd isn’t a good captain, and if he’s not careful, he’s liable to be voted out. But then again, his crew embraces his awfulness. It paves the way for them to act the same way without recourse. Something that wouldn’t be true if Nox held the position.
I can recognize that and appreciate it, even if part of me still wants to wring their neck. “Stay away from Evelyn.”
They glance at me. “Just a bit of harmless flirting, Captain. Except I suppose you aren’t captain anymore, are you?”
I bite down on my instinctive need to throttle them. “I don’t want trouble, but I’ll happily wade in it where she’s concerned. Do you understand?”
Their amusement never leaves their blue eyes. But their smile does fall away. “I don’t go where I’m not wanted. If I’m not mistaken, she just moved into your cabin. That makes her preference clear, don’t you think?”
I could stand here talking in circles and get nowhere. Ultimately, they’re right. It’s not that I think they’re an active threat to this thing Evelyn and I have going on, but watching them flirt with her drove home the fact that I truly have no claim. She might have shared my bed, but she’s not mine. Not in any true way.
Even if she stayed in Threshold, how can I ask her to stay with me? I was her captor. I forced her into taking a vow that will cost her life if she tries to reclaim her freedom. Neither of those things is forgivable on its own. Together? We have no chance.
If Evelyn were standing beside me right now, she would point out that I’m making decisions without consulting her. Again.
I leave Nox at the helm and head down to my cabin. Inside, I find Evelyn with several small bowls emitting colorful smoke and strange scents. I close the door softly behind me. “What’s going on here?”
“It’s all a little hocus-pocus.” She doesn’t look up from her mixing. “I have expelled a number of my tattoos, and since they are my heaviest-hitting ones, I don’t feel comfortable getting off this boat without having them recharged.”
All of my earlier concern and stress falls away, replaced by curiosity. Obviously I knew her tattoos were magic, but getting to witness her set them up feels like the closest sort of intimacy. Or maybe I’m reaching for stars.
She pricks her thumb and holds it over the first bowl. The moment her drop of blood hits the contents, she speaks a single word. My skin prickles at the magic that rises in response. It’s gone just as quickly, pulled in by her spell. She quickly repeats the process with the other bowls.
“There.” She sits back and puts her thumb in her mouth. Evelyn winces. “That shit always stings more than it has the right to.” She holds up a small stick with a needle attached. “Since you’re here, how steady is your hand?”
“Steady enough,” I say cautiously.
Evelyn smiles. “Then get over here, big boy. Tattoo me!”
I know how it works, but I can’t pretend I have any skill at it. “Surely there’s someone else who’s better suited.”