Evelyn goes still. For once, there’s no amusement on her pretty face. She frowns. “You don’t see a problem with that at all? I suppose I’m to blame for jumping through a portal without getting all the information about its destination first. I’ll own that. But surely even you can see the lack of justice where they’re concerned? It wasn’t their choice, foolish or otherwise, that brought them here.”
The squirming inside me grows in strength. I swallow and do my best not to let the sensation present as an outward fidget. I took no pleasure in their vows, but I would have taken even less in their deaths. “The law is the law. Like I told you earlier, intent matters less than the fact they ended up here.”
“Fascinating. You’re like a windup toy. Question the laws and that’s your only response.”
“In a world that touches on every realm in existence, surely you can understand how important it is to have rules. Without the C?n Annwn, it would be anarchy. Monsters would slip from realm to realm, hunting those who are ill-equipped to deal with them and killing indiscriminately.” I give up on trying to be still and drag a hand through my hair. “Things are the way they are for a reason.”
“Why are the C?n Annwn the ones who get to make the rules?”
I’m temporary distracted by her popping an olive into her mouth and chewing slowly. I shake my head roughly, trying to focus. “What do you mean?”
“I would think the question is self-explanatory. There was a time in my realm when the myths about the C?n Annwn didn’t exist, which would suggest there was a time when they didn’t. Or at least when they kept to whatever realm spawned them. Who set them up as the protectors of Threshold? This system benefits someone. I’d like to know who.”
“It benefits the people of Threshold,” I say through gritted teeth. “Even with us doing our jobs to the best of our ability, there are people we can’t save. Without the laws in place, even more would die in horrific ways. Our origins matter less than what we accomplish in the present time.”
“Yikes.” She makes a show of shuddering. “Maybe that’s true. Maybe it’s not. Either way, it’s not very pirate-y, anti-authority, anti-capitalist of you to be sailing around, scooping up refugees, and giving them a bullshit bargain where there’s only one option because the other outcome is death. Come on.”
She takes a few more bites while I sputter.
“Listen, I’m not from around here, but at least ask some questions, man. You’re in a cage just like the rest of us. Don’t you want to know the boundaries?”
“Did you not hear me when I said we save lives?”
“I heard you.” She sips her wine and makes an appreciative noise that I’m too frustrated to, well, appreciate. “I still don’t think it outweighs the lives you’ve ruined by forcibly recruiting them to your cause.”
I have been one of the C?n Annwn for twenty years. Ever since I woke up, thirteen years old, soaked and half dead on the deck of a ship. This ship, in fact. I never did regain my memories of my life before that point, but Ezra, the former captain of the Crimson Hag, brought me under his wing like I was his own son. He took as little joy in following the laws of the C?n Annwn as I do, but he never faltered.
I won’t falter now.
“I told you what would happen if you broke your vows. That same fate awaits anyone who does. The Council may keep a loose grip on most of our captains at this time, but that’s only because they are still fulfilling the role set out for them in Threshold. If a captain went against that? If I went against that? Not only would they make an example of me, but they would do the same with my entire crew. It’s not just a single life that hangs in the balance of these decisions, Evelyn. I have to think of my people.”
“Sure.” She shrugs. “Like I said, I understand you not breaking these laws if the consequences are so dire. But I’m curious by nature, and I don’t think it’s a bad thing to question why things are the way they are. It’s the first thing my grandmother taught me.”
I’m pathetically grateful for the chance to shift this conversation into safer territory. Though, truth be told, I want to know more about Evelyn and what kind of life she must’ve lived to turn her into the person she is today … and to cause her path to cross mine. “Your grandmother raised you?”
“I was orphaned at six. Bunny picked me up and I never looked back. She taught me everything I know.” She stares at her plate, but it’s blatantly obvious she’s looking into the past.
I recognize the grief that flickers over her face. I feel the same when I think of Ezra, gone now three years. The ship’s just not the same without him. Even years later, there are times when I’m faced with a difficult decision and I find myself looking to where he used to stand behind the helm. I always feel foolish when I do it. He gave me every bit of advice he could when he was alive. He trained me to be able to make these decisions on my own, once he was gone.
It doesn’t mean I don’t miss him, though.
“How did you end up here?”
I expect another laugh, or maybe a playful comment, but Evelyn freezes. Is that true fear on her face? She carefully sets down her fork. “We’re still on the move, right? We’re nowhere near where I came in?”
“We’re leagues from there now.” I lean forward. “Why?”
“I damaged the portal, but Lizzie is too damn smart to have only one route available. There’s got to be another one in the house, if not more. How do portals even work in Threshold, anyway? I should have asked that the moment I woke up.” Her words tumble over each other in her apparent panic. “It was really foolish of me to steal from her, but it seemed like a good idea at the time, and she didn’t have to be such a bitch about kicking me out of her house when I didn’t even want to be there to begin with. She practically kidnapped me. Which I wouldn’t have been opposed to, except for the whole ‘her family showing up and killing me for fun if they stumbled on me’ thing. Really, I was justified in stealing from her.”
I blink. “Lizzie is a … friend? Girlfriend?”
“Lizzie doesn’t like labels. And neither do I,” Evelyn says primly. Or at least she tries. She’s gone pale, her movements becoming jerky. She’s still talking too fast, even for her. “But I suppose if you were going to put a label on it, ‘lover’ is as good as any. That’s not the point. The point is that there’s a decent chance she’ll follow me to Threshold on sheer principle, since she threatened my life and all. If she does, we’re all in danger. She’s a bloodline vampire, and the power she wields is …” Evelyn shudders. “Trust me that I don’t know a single person who could survive a fight with her. I certainly couldn’t.”