“No anal sex, Bailey,” he deadpans. “I know you’re really interested, but I’m just not that into it.”
I jolt, eyes about to bug out of my head. My hand shoots up over my lips, and I force myself to swallow the beer in my mouth so I don’t spray it all over him. “Oh my god!” I say from behind my fingers. “It was just a question!”
“Yup. A question that no other person has just casually lobbed out to me.”
“Well, who else am I supposed to ask?”
“Google?”
I lean back in the chair, groaning as I stare up at the ceiling. “It didn’t seem like a weird question in the moment.”
Truthfully, I enjoy watching him react. He’s so … unaffected by me all the time. But when I ask questions like that, I get a reaction. It’s like proof of life.
“Really?” He’s laughing at me now. And who could blame him? He must think I’m nuts.
“No, I just saw the video, and it got me thinking. It was funny. And you seem experienced, so I wanted to know. You could have told me it was personal if you didn’t want to answer.”
On a chuckle, he says, “Have you had anal sex, Bailey?”
I snort and tip my chin back down to meet his gaze. “I haven’t had any sex, Beau.”
All the humor that laced his body moments ago drains away. I swear I watch it just—poof—evaporate.
“Any sex?” He looks incredulous.
“None. Big fat zero. Felt like I should lay that out on the table if we’re being honest with each other tonight.”
“How?” His eyes spark with interest. Not disgust or pity, just … disbelief. “Aren’t you twenty-two?”
“Yes, but I don’t know. I just don’t go anywhere. The opportunity hasn’t presented itself and I don’t want to tick it off like an item on a grocery list. And … who is there? In this town, it’s people who wouldn’t touch me with a ten-foot pole or people who want to touch me just to say they did.”
I hold up a finger like I’m having an aha! moment. “In fact, that was the last bet I was unknowingly involved in. So, yeah, I need there to be a very clear plan so nothing gets confused.”
So my feelings don’t get hurt.
He stares at me for several beats, a glint of steel in his silver eyes. His jaw pops as his teeth grind, and I can’t help but notice the way his long fingers flex around his mug, like he’s envisioning strangling someone. “We’re not going to have sex, Bailey. That’s not the point of this arrangement.”
I’m slightly disappointed by the conviction with which he conveyed that message. But it also puts me at ease. Honestly, part of what kept me up last night was worrying about how far we’d have to take the act.
And how I’d keep from getting attached if we took it too far.
“Let’s just keep anything physical public. Does that work? Has anyone kissed you?”
I give him a droll look, offense flaring in my chest. “Just because I haven’t had sex doesn’t mean I’ve been living in a bubble,” I bite back. “I just haven’t found someone I want to go all the way with. But I want to.”
“Bailey.” He scrubs a hand over his face. “God. It’s like you have no filter around me at all.”
I chuckle and glance toward the plush sectional in the living room, envisioning us cuddling there. The weight of his body against mine. The way he might roll me under him and—
The sound of him swallowing is what hits me first. Then him taking a sip of tea. When I finally glance back at him, I can see the amusement swirling in his eyes.
“Shut up.”
His lips press together, barely containing the laughter that threatens to spill from him. “I didn’t say anything.”
I wave a hand over him, my cheeks tugging up as I do. “You might as well have. You say my name like it’s a bad word. Or like I exhaust you.”
“You’re entertaining, Bailey. Possibly even funny. You don’t exhaust me. You invigorate me.”
“Gee, thanks. Now I feel really fucking young.”
He ignores my jab and forges ahead. “Okay, so if you meet this person who you really want to have sex with, you’re going to tell me. And we’ll break it off.”
My eyes close. “I hate this conversation passionately.”
He laughs now. It’s deep and warm and makes me wonder how I’ll ever find someone else I want to have sex with when I’m spending all my time with Beau Eaton.
When my lashes flutter open, I pin him with my glare. “Same for you. If you meet someone who you actually like, you’ll tell me.”
“That won’t happen. But fine.”
He sounds so sure.
“Why not?”
“An actual relationship?” He flicks a hand over the table as though swatting a fly away. “You don’t see the shit I’ve seen and still believe a single thing is permanent. I saw the way it crushed my family when I went missing. I don’t want to put anyone else through that. Once you’ve been sent on your way with a shiny new reputation, it’ll just be me and my tea. I’ll never fall in love, won’t let myself.”
He holds the mug up in a cheers, but it’s not a happy one.
There’s a profound sadness—a profound loneliness—about the sentiment, and I don’t cheers back.
“When we break up, you have to do something awful,” I say.
His brow quirks in question.
“Well, if you dump me, you’ll be Poor Beau, who got swindled by the trashy Jansen girl. If I break up with you, I’ll be the she-devil who hurt Poor Beau. But if you do something shitty, everyone will forgive you and I’ll still get to walk away with my head held high.”
“Why do you care? If you’re leaving and never coming back?”
I breathe out a heavy sigh that leaves my lungs feeling almost painfully empty. “I’m just so tired of being the bad guy.”
“I’ll be the bad guy,” he says with a firm nod, not needing to think about it.
My chest flutters, but I press on. “How will we convince people it’s real?”
A sly grin graces his handsome face as his tongue traces his bottom lip. “Act like we can’t keep our hands off each other. Just follow my lead.”
“Right.” I force my breathing to remain calm at the thought of touching Beau. Kissing Beau. I’m accustomed to hard work, but this doesn’t seem like it’ll be a real hardship.
What are the fucking chances?
I brush a crumb that doesn’t exist off the table. This place is immaculate. “Sure. Cool. I could use the practice.”
A rough huff of air sounds from his side of the table, and I glance up to see him shifting uncomfortably.
“What about your family?”
His brow drops lower at the mention of the Eaton clan. “What about them?”
“Should we tell them? You all seem so close. Will that bother you?”
Beau drops his gaze and stares thoughtfully at the liquid in his mug. “That’s the thing, Bailey. I’ve been lying to them for years. And they’re just now figuring it out, I think.”
“What does that mean? Oh my god.” I gasp. “You’re gay, aren’t you? Everything makes so much sense. I’m totally cool with it, by the way.”
He chuckles, moving that sly, playful look over my face. “Bailey, I am very straight.”
I swallow. “Well, I can see how someone would think you weren’t.”
His head quirks, his stare unnerving. “Oh yeah? How so?”
I shrug, having to blink away to escape the pressure of … him. “Never seen you with anyone.”
“Been watching me?”
I blow a raspberry and roll my eyes. “Please, everyone in this town watches you.”
Strong fingers rap against the table as he fires back, “I’ve never seen you with anyone, either.”
I laugh, because of course he’s never seen me with anyone. “I suppose my extensive vibrator collection doesn’t prove much either, huh?”
He groans and shifts again. “Jesus, Bailey. You always just blurt shit like that out?”
I shake my head, trying to push my embarrassment back down. “Nope. I only seem to blurt stuff out to people I’m comfortable around. So, you. And maybe Gary.”