Sure, I’m staying in a beautiful mansion, but my freedoms are pretty restricted. Luckily, Stella visiting me helps immensely.
It took some time to get used to living here, but I’ve adapted slowly. It doesn’t quite feel like home, but I eat breakfast with Maggie in the kitchen, and she tells me fantastical stories about the fae realm before I work more hours than I probably should, stopping to grab food and take a moment to spend time in the gym Ben had showed to me. He even got some equipment I told him I needed for my gymnastic workouts. Sometimes I take my sketchbook out and explore the countless rooms in the house or the grounds.
The land included in Kalos’s estate is a mix of forest and curated garden. There’s even a small maze with a fountain shaped like a coiling dragon at its center. It’s fun to lose myself in sketching the nature or architecture around me.
I live in Kalos’s home, and my world revolves around avoiding him, but it’s grown comfortable. I keep focused on my own tasks and try not to think about the dragon.
Most of the time I even forget I’m pregnant since the heat he feeds me has caused the symptoms I’d had before to disappear.
It isn’t a bad way to live, but it is monotonous.
“Thank you for hanging out today. I know it can be boring—”
“Kat, stop,” Stella says. “It’s not boring to hang out here. I know why you can’t just leave when you want to. It’s more important for you to be safe than to go to a café together. Let’s move over to the grass. I know you like being in the sun, carrying a being that literally sucks heat from your bones and all, but it’s really hot and my sunscreen isn’t invincible.”
I agree, and we move to the grass and trees.
“This place is beautiful though,” Stella says. “The only bummer is that I have to deal with your errand boy.”
I hum. “I don’t know why you dislike each other so much.”
Stella picks a blade of grass and glares at it. “Vibes. Some people you can just feel it.”
The way Stella and Ben snap at each other could be an Olympic sport for all their perseverance and consistency. They are opposites. Ben is everything order and organized. His job is to provide solutions. Stella is more chaos and glee. Her work is fluid and thoughts spontaneous.
“How did things go with the minotaur you were making a glamour for?” I ask, wanting to change the subject. I like Ben.
Stella winces. “Uh, yeah, turns out he needed a glamour because he’d met his soul mate online and didn’t want to freak her out.”
“Oh, damn, I’m sorry.”
She flicks the piece of grass away. “Don’t be. Just because I’m not finding love doesn’t mean other people can’t. I’d say that I wish I didn’t have to date, but that would be unappreciative because I know the other side of that.”
The other side of that is an arranged marriage like her mother had. A dark expression passes over her face, and I try to distract her.
“Maybe after I have this baby and they’re older, I’ll join you on the dating scene. I’d like to find love.”
Stella’s eyes widen in surprise. “Do you think Kalos would allow that?”
I frown. “He wouldn’t have a choice. We don’t have a relationship. He made his feelings about that loud and clear.”
Stella shrugs. “I guess I assumed he’d eventually change his mind. It’s not like it’s normal to cuddle with a woman every night and not have some sort of intimacy.”
“That’s needed for the baby.” I swallow. “He’s not going to change his mind and even if he did, why would I want him?”
Stella blinks at me, amused. “Because he’s powerful, gorgeous, and the sex was incredible?”
I shrug. “He doesn’t want me. I’m not going to beg for his affection. Living here while he’s doing everything to avoid me is… whatever. Anyway, there’s more to life than sex.”
Living here is comfortable, but there’s still a thread of loneliness that crops up every so often when I let my mind wander. When I imagine what the future is going to look like.
“Keep telling yourself that,” Stella says. “But yeah, if I’m still single, we can go hunting for partners together. Partners that aren’t going to be stupid and will appreciate us. I’ve heard whispers of a matchmaker. Maybe we’ll try that.”
I tilt my head at that. That wouldn’t be a bad idea. I could ask for someone kind. Someone agreeable who would be excited to help me raise a kid. I don’t think Kalos has any interest in being a parent or helping with anything other than financial support.
Even with him being well off, I didn’t expect the credit card with no limit that Ben gave me on Kalos’s orders.
I should still ask what type of arrangement Kalos wants to have after the baby is born. If I ever see him that is.
The loneliness isn’t just from being here, but being here makes it more obvious. If I’m honest with myself, it’s clung to me for years.
Work has been about searching for redemption, not fulfillment. Stella is incredibly supportive but has her own life with her mom. Maggie and Ben have been nice and will be good to have in my and the baby’s life, if they want to be, but the people who are only in my corner… I don’t have that.
I may have thought at one time that Nemo was that person, but I don’t want him anywhere near my kid.
“A matchmaker sounds interesting,” I say.
“Want to hear the best part?”
I raise a brow at her, and Stella whispers. “It’s at a sex bathhouse.”
I blink. “A sex bathhouse? Do those really exist?”
“Oh, my sweet summer child, you have no idea. We’ll have to go sometime when your jailer allows it.”
I throw a piece of grass at her. “You’re the worst.”
“But you love me.”
“I do.”
Stella grows serious. “I worry sometimes that you’ll feel trapped here.”
I worry about that too.
“It’ll get better. I have a bunch of appointments to deliver projects next week, so I’ll get some new scenery.” There’s a rustle in the bushes behind me, and I sit up. “What was that?”
The foliage is thick, and I don’t see anything at first. I’d gone over the security with Ben and had him strengthen it with my advice so someone shouldn’t have been able to sneak in like I had.
“I didn’t hear anything. Maybe it’s a squirrel,” Stella says. Then there’s a raspy meow, and Stella jumps to her feet. “Cat! That was a cat.”
“Don’t scare it!” I whisper, but the rustling gets closer as if spurred by the sound of our voices.
The bushes part, and with a loud meow, a rangy orange cat pushes through.
“Oh, I love orange tabbies,” Stella says immediately, crouching down, but the cat pads toward me instead.
“Maybe it lives nearby?” I ask as the cat starts to rub against my legs. I crouch and pet the creature awkwardly.
“It looks like a tom cat.”
“How can you tell?”
“Because of the balls,” Stella teases. “Oh, you’re such a sweet guy and you love Katarina, don’t you?”
The cat’s fur has a greasy texture to it, and the stark bones under the animal’s coat makes my heart ache.