Goodnight Beautiful

“Annie?” She turns around. It’s Sally French. “Josephine said you wanted to speak to me.”

“Yes.” Annie manages a weak smile. “A resident told me that Sam was here yesterday. I know she’s probably confused, but I need to at least ask if anyone saw him.”

Sally hesitates, and there’s something about the look on her face that makes Annie uneasy.

“What?” she says.

“I haven’t seen Sam here in several weeks, Annie.”

“What do you mean? He comes every other day. We take turns.”

The door opens again, and a woman enters, clutching the hand of a little girl, her face painted like a cat, a red helium balloon gripped in her fist. Sally nods. “Let’s ask Josephine. She’d be the one to know.”

Annie follows Sally to the front desk.

“A resident said Sam was here and took Margaret to bingo,” Annie says to Josephine. “Any chance . . .” She allows the sentence to trail off.

“No, sorry.” Josephine flashes a tight smile. “A volunteer has been taking Margaret to bingo. The resident was probably confused.”

“When did you last see him?” Annie asks.

“It’s been a while,” Josephine says. “Two months, maybe?”

“You’re sure?” Annie’s voice is quavering. Because that would mean he’s been lying to me.

“Yes.” Josephine’s expression is pained. “I’m here every day, and pretty much see everyone.”

“Okay,” Annie says, as the little girl with the cat face abruptly lets go of her balloon. “Thank you.” She heads toward the doors, watching the balloon float slowly toward the ceiling, where it settles against a light fixture. She hears a loud pop, followed by the young girl’s shrieks, ushering her into the cold, gray afternoon, transformed just like that into the most cliché character of them all: the guileless wife.





Chapter 37




Sam stares at the notes he jotted down in one of the grid-lined notebooks Albert brought up from his office yesterday.

Client initials: KJ



Marital status: Newlywed



Presenting problem: Got married in a secret ceremony in Mexico and is feeling conflicted. Also devoid of a conscience, grandiose sense of self-importance, and exploits others without guilt or shame.



Treatment plan:



Sam pauses to think about it.

Annulment, followed by round-the-clock therapy in an inpatient environment and a lifetime ban on interacting with impressionable young women.



Pretty good, Sam thinks, dropping the pen on top of the copy of In Touch magazine with Kris Jenner on the cover. Kris Jenner: his imaginary patient Nancy Neumann (Tuesday, 10 a.m.) had accidentally brought the magazine in from the waiting room and left it on the side table in his office. It included a famous actress’s weight-loss program and a two-page interview with the cover girl, which he is bored enough to have read four times in the last six hours. He grips the arms of the chair and begins a set of tricep dips, telling himself that’ll be him one day, on the cover of all the magazines.

Therapist Held Captive by Landlord Speaks!





Dr. Sam Statler, pictured here, at home with his wife Annie and two perfectly good legs, escaped after murdering his deranged landlord, Albert Bitterman, in a tremendously violent manner. He says the experience only made him a better man.





The ladies of The View will dig up a photo of Albert as a kid and beg to know more about him. Sam will use a professional tone, and explain that according to his assessment, Albert Bitterman is, as they’d say in the business, batshit crazy.

A picture is emerging. Emotionally stunted by his mother’s death at a young age, Albert was left in the care of an abusive and distant father, whose ideas of masculinity were at odds with his son’s sensitive nature. As an adult, he was deathly afraid of rejection, making it difficult to form attachments, leading to a lonely and isolated existence and an obsession with his tenant, whom he would eventually attack with a shovel and then keep him captive in his house. The ladies will all want to know the same thing—why was Albert Bitterman, a single fifty-one-year-old man, living alone in a five-bedroom mansion in the first place? But Sam will only shrug, explaining that this was one topic Albert wouldn’t touch. Twice now Sam has broached the subject, asking what brought him to Chestnut Hill, sending Albert abruptly out of the room both times.

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