Julia didn’t know how she was supposed to answer. “That’s your birthday. Yeah.”
Shelly seemed confused on a deep, unsettled level. “I think that was the first time. I think so. She did it as a joke because she was so frustrated and we both laughed. And then she did it again and it wasn’t funny… Sometimes I forget. I go someplace else when it happens,” Shelly said, her voice soft, like it was night and they were alone in Julia’s room, in sleeping bags. “It’s never outside where a bathing suit goes… When I see myself in the mirror it’s a surprise. It’s so crazy and so secret that I think I did it to myself. Maybe I turned thirteen and something happened that made me split personality or schizophrenic. I know I’m not right. But they’re too high up my back. There’s no way I did it to myself. That’s half the reason I started taking the pictures. So I can be sure it’s real.”
A memory returned to Julia, and it made her weary. She felt as old as Shelly looked with that cropped hair and sunken eyes. “Do you remember that time we were rehearsing at your house?”
“When?” Shelly asked.
“When we did the Billie Eilish for the talent show. Your mom didn’t know I was in your room. She opened the door. Like, slammed it open. And it was so weird, because I’d just heard her talking on the phone downstairs and she’d been laughing. But she looked so mad all of a sudden. And then she saw me and it was gone. Like it had never happened. She was smiling.”
Shelly didn’t say anything.
“It was so crazy. I thought she was going to murder us, and then she was asking if I wanted a strawberry smoothie. I didn’t know what to think. It was unreal. I thought I’d imagined it. Do you remember?” Julia asked.
Shelly shook her head. Without hair, her neck looked long and vulnerable, like a sea creature out of its shell. “No. But she does that sometimes, when people aren’t looking. People who aren’t me… I wanted to tell you. I kept thinking you knew. I thought because we spent so much time, it was like osmosis and you knew. That’s why you and your family were always so nice to me. You were trying to make up for it.”
Julia tried not to cry, but Shelly’s bruise had been like any other skin, to the touch. It seemed wrong that it hadn’t been like fire. “I didn’t know. I’m sorry.”
Shelly winced. “It’s okay. I think I just wanted to imagine that you knew, so I wouldn’t have to do something about it. I could pretend the whole world was in on it. Especially Maple Street. But then she said I couldn’t hang out with you anymore, and if you were with the Rat Pack, I couldn’t hang out with them. And I knew.”
“Why did she do that?” Julia asked. “Is it because I stole those cigarettes?”
Shelly smiled dark. “It wasn’t the smoking. She was afraid I’d tell you. That’s how I knew for sure it was real. The whole world isn’t in on it. Not even the whole block. It’s just her, and it’s real.”
“But now you did tell me.” Julia’s voice broke, even though she wanted it to be kind, strong, an affirmation.
“Yeah.” Shelly tried to smile again; failed. Her eyes were so sunken that it startled Julia.
“What do we do?” Julia asked.
Shelly shook her head. “I don’t want her to get in trouble. I love her. And sometimes, when she does it, it almost feels like it’s because she loves me most. It’s a thing we share. But it’s not right. I know it isn’t.”
“Can you tell your dad?”
“He’s invisible. Like you said. He’s a ghost.” Shelly bit her lip. Swiped the sweat from her brow that was trickling down into her eyes. “… What about your parents?”
Julia thought about that. Felt sad to admit the truth of it. “No. They don’t always know what to do. We could tell Ms. Lopez, but she won’t be back at school until September. This can’t wait. I think we have to go to the cops.”
Shelly went to smooth her hair again. Her hands came back disappointed. She looked at Julia’s with longing. “She’ll get in so much trouble. I don’t want that.”
“She won’t,” Julia said. “That only happens in the ghetto. Here, they’ll just make her stop.”
“What if they don’t believe me? What if they tell my mom I’m a troublemaker and then she hates me forever?”
“I don’t think cops do that,” Julia said. “Look at your back. Nobody would call you a liar.”
“You don’t understand. I’ll have no one without her.”
“You’ll have me. If it goes bad, we’ll run away. We won’t come back until it’s safe,” Julia said.
“You’d do that?”
A calm settled over Julia. A kind of steel she’d never imagined she possessed. “I’m in this. Now that you told me, I’m part of it. I can’t do nothing. I can’t let you do nothing. You said it yourself. You’ll die if you stay. I believe that. I can see it happening already. I won’t let you die.”
Eyes welling with tears, a kind of peace settled over Shelly, and she nodded. “Okay.”
They hugged. “I got blood on you. I’m sorry,” Julia said.
“S’okay.” She pointed at a speck on Julia’s Hawaiian shirt. “I got blood on you, too.”