“Jay?”
“You called him a prince and said, ‘Mum, he’s so pretty,’ when you first met him. You were, what? Five at the time? Lan was having fun watching girls fight over him, but you were all over Jay. That didn’t last long and you eventually became friends, but I definitely saw the attraction in your little eyes.”
Right. I do remember thinking he was really pretty. But then puberty came and I never thought of him in that sense. I never thought of anyone in that sense.
With one damning exception.
“Afterward,” Mum continues. “You were more into girls, so I thought maybe you were bi, but I didn’t want to broach the subject until you told me yourself. I’m happy you felt comfortable enough to tell us.”
I smile at her, feeling a bit daft for being so stupidly worried about this. Then I tilt my head in the direction of my father, who’s been awfully quiet.
His face is unreadable as he seems to be fighting his demons.
“Dad? Are you…okay with it?”
“Your sexuality? Naturally. This guy, however, I’m not sure yet. What’s his name? Age? Parents’ names?”
“Uh…so…remember Killian?”
His lips part. “Please don’t tell me you’re with your sister’s boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend?”
“What? No. Of course not, Dad.”
“Ew, Levi.” Mum smacks his hand.
“Fine, okay.” He releases a breath. “It can’t be worse than that.”
“He’s his cousin.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” Dad’s face literally pales and I kind of feel bad for him. He’s been dealing with Lan his whole life, then he had Kill, who’s also a diagnosed psychopath, and I don’t think he’s even processed that.
“Please tell me he’s the levelheaded cousin who keeps him in check.”
“To be honest, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Killian is definitely the one who keeps Nikolai in check.”
“Fuck my life.” He exhales. “Astrid, Princess. I think I’m having a heart attack.”
“Dad…are you okay?” I study him closely. “I’m actually not with him right now, so you don’t have to worry.”
“Oh, screw that.” Mum shakes him again. “Your dad just needs to stop being a baby.”
Coincidentally, Dad’s expression returns to normal. “You’re not together, you said?”
“Levi!” Mum scolds.
“What? I can’t have this bunch of psychos corrupting my children. I’m sure you’ll find someone better, son.”
A sad smile curves my lips. “I don’t think so, Dad.”
“What happened?” Mum asks in a soft tone.
“Something concerning Mia.”
“Lan’s girlfriend?”
“Yeah. She’s also Nikolai’s younger sister and he really, and I mean really, hates Lan’s guts. Mostly because, well, my dear brother caused him and his friends a lot of trouble.”
Mum sighs with resignation. “Lan, oh, Lan.”
“So did Lan beat him up?” Dad asks with a note of anticipation.
“Levi!” Mum scolds again.
“I approve of Lan protecting his siblings.”
“Way to set an example for your children, hon.”
“Did he?” he asks me.
“It was the other way around, and I’m mad at Nikolai for that.”
“Well, didn’t Lan beat up Kill once?” Mum asks.
“That’s my boy.” Dad nods in approval and Mum rolls her eyes.
“Still, he shouldn’t have done it. I begged him not to and he didn’t seem to care.” I release a long sigh. “Anyway, I’m going to be fine.”
“It’s okay if you aren’t.” Dad slaps me affectionately on the back.
Mum hugs me and kisses the top of my head. Her smell and warmth engulf me as she whispers, “I’m proud of you, hon. I love you just the way you are.”
I wrap my arm around her even as I think.
I wish you didn’t.
Now that this admission is out in the open. I know it’s only a matter of time before the rest bulldozes through my weakened defenses.
And when that happens, I doubt I’ll be able to hug her again.
The following morning, after I come back from my run, I shower and go to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for my parents.
It’s the least I can do after the love and understanding they showered me with last night. They’re the reason I’ve been hanging on to that thread of hope for years. If they weren’t in my life…I don’t even want to think about it.
Even though Mum is on a deadline, we sure as hell went to the home cinema and watched my favorite Poirot episode, “The Murder of Roger Ackroyd”.
Dad dozed off halfway through and Mum talked me into painting his face—something we always used to do whenever he fell asleep around us. The four of us. Dad had no chance of winning with four chaotic artists in the family.
Though only Glyn takes after Mum in being a chaotic creative. Lan and I are too consumed with perfection. Too methodical. Too…focused.
I’d actually never thought about that. Lan is a sculptor and I’m a painter, but we share the same creative energy.
Guess we’ve always had similar traits, no matter how much I’ve tried to ignore it.
Anyway, breakfast.
Dad will be up soon and Mum spent an all-nighter in the studio. I know how important this exhibition is for her. She’s been working for two years on her next big thing and I want to be there for her every step of the way.
I will not, under any circumstances, distract her.
Which means I should probably go back to uni soon.
I puff out a breath of air, dread, and another queasy feeling enveloping me at the thought of what waits for me on the island.
Our butler, Nolan, walks inside, all dressed in his impeccable suit and the slightly crooked bow tie.
“I’ve got this, Nolan. Thanks,” I tell him as I fetch eggs from the fridge.
“Sir, that’s not it.”
“Then what is it?”
“You have a peculiar visitor.”
“This early…?”
I lift my head and I can hear the sound of my shattering heart as my eyes meet those deep-blue ones.
Nikolai is in my parents' house.
31
NIKOLAI
The past week has been a red mist.
No. Black would be a more accurate fucking description.
With everything that imploded back home, I had to go to the States and assess the fuckery for myself. As if everything wasn’t already fucked up, I also had to clash with none other than Landon—also known as the reason behind every fucked-up emotion I’ve been experiencing over the past couple of weeks.
The reason why Bran has been completely ignoring me.
Let’s just say Landon said I shouldn’t mention anything about his impromptu visit to my parents. I still hate the fucking guy and I’d rather see him burn at the stake than be with my sister, but I don’t really have a choice after he saved her from certain death.
Motherfucking fucker even managed to stop raising Dad’s hackles. My. Dad. As in the man who brought me up to be the twins’ second watchdog after himself.