But the briars aren’t pulling him away. They’re tugging us toward each other. Relief and fear soar through my chest as I’m wrapped up against him.
Is it my lips crashing against his, or his against mine? But his hands are in my hair, and I’m gasping in all the air he’s willing to give me. This is wrong. Every logical thought is telling me this is wrong. Then why can’t I let go?
Why can’t I leave him behind? He’s saved my life, again and again and again. And I can’t let him go.
The briars draw us closer, cocooning us. Our kiss deepens. His hands are over my body, drawing my thigh up around his waist.
“Rosalina.” He chokes out my actual name. Is this the first time he’s ever said it to me? I’m not sure. “You certainly are a lot of trouble, aren’t you?”
I swallow, head spinning. I’m not sure I would even know my name if he hadn’t just said it. “Not as much trouble as you.” A thought drifts through my starlit mind. “Cas, do you have my necklace?”
He tilts his head. “Yes. But they’ll only take it from you again. You don’t need it.” He places a hand over my heart. “You have everything you need right here.”
“But—”
“I’ll keep it safe. I’ll keep you safe.” I think I catch a smile on his face between the speckles of light. Then he’s kissing me again.
And I believe him.
Maybe here in this moment, in this space that doesn’t really exist, it’s okay to give in to the shadows. To submit to pure feeling and sensation and need. His fiery, desperate lips caress my neck. All sense of control is lost from both of us as I thread my fingers through his hair and writhe my body against his.
He kisses me again, softer this time. A kiss I know means the end.
He cups my face. “Goodbye, Princess. I think it’ll be a little while before I see you again.”
“Wait,” I gasp, catching the edge of his shirt. “I have so many questions.”
“And I have so many answers.” His voice fades away as the briars swallow him up. I have the tumbling sensation of falling, falling, falling. I break through the vines, gasping for air, the foggy vision of Castletree’s entrance hall swirling around me.
61
Ezryn
The thud of the hard ground reverberates through my armor. Thorns release from around my waist, and I steady myself on all fours, immediately taking in my surroundings. We’re in the entrance hall of Castletree. Farron, Dayton, and Kel are collapsed beside me. My heart begins to blaze as I stagger to my feet and turn in a circle. The ground opens up again, and Rosalina emerges from a bramble bush.
Silence fills the hall, but blood rushes through my head, and my heart hammers.
Stay still. Stay in control. Stay grounded.
But when his eyes meet mine, there is no such thing as peace.
“How could you?” I roar, snagging Kel by his collar and slamming him against a pillar. “The bargain you made with Caspian has condemned us all!”
Kel grabs my wrists. “Do you understand now, brother, why I have chosen this path? Do you see me for the monster I truly am?”
“You are not a monster,” I growl back. “For monsters have no reason, no responsibility. You are far worse. You are a traitor, Keldarion.”
Pain riots through my chest, a wound that has no physical origin. I keep my grip tight on Kel to stop from falling to the ground. Year after year, I watched him throw his life away for Caspian. But for him to have made a bargain like this…
A bargain that now involves Rosalina.
Kel stares down at me with glazed eyes, a defeated half-smile on his face. “I own my betrayal. But let us not dance around it anymore. You betrayed me, too.”
Breath tears from my throat. The thoughts in my head are raw with memories from the past, but they keep coming, assaulting me like arrows through the flesh. “Never. I never—”
“My army, Ez,” Kel says softly. “You took my own army out from under me and marched it upon the Below.”
“That wasn’t a betrayal—” Even I can hear the doubt in my words.
Because wasn’t that exactly what it was? His own good, it was for his own good…
Or was it for mine?
I’d known it from the moment he showed up at Castletree begging for sanctuary: Caspian had evil in his heart. He’d tricked Kel, charmed Dayton and Farron, and had all the realms bespelled by the hope of a single smile.
But I knew it.
Kel never believed me. Never trusted me.
When I discovered Caspian had been a spy for the Below all along, I knew it was up to me to save Keldarion from himself.
Keldarion and I had served as generals, side by side for decades. I was in Winter at the time I learned the truth of Caspian’s plan, and my own army was still in Spring. But Kel’s soldiers were right there. When I told his personal legion of Caspian’s intention, they agreed to aid me.
Kel’s Winter squadron were not only elite soldiers but dedicated to him. As was I. We would do whatever it took to free him from Caspian’s possession.
More images flash before me: infiltrating the Below, goblins dying beneath our blades, breaking into Caspian’s personal chambers, the objects he’d stolen from the realms above crushing beneath my boot.
Kel returned with me and the army. But his loyalty to Caspian didn’t break.
At least not until after Caspian tore a hole in the world and all manner of ilk from the Below leached from the Great Chasm to march upon Frostfang.
“I did that to protect you,” I force out.
Kel shakes his head. “I didn’t need your protection, brother. I needed your trust.”
Anger flares in my chest, and I grab Kel’s wrist, yanking down his sleeve and revealing the bargain bracelet. “Look where your trusting nature has put us. Was your fucking love worth it?”
Kel rips his hand away and sneers.
I need to leave it. I need to stop. But the rage is too hot, cursed memories too fresh. I need someone to hurt like I’m hurting. I gesture behind me to Rosalina. “Look at her and tell me Caspian was worth it!”
Keldarion’s eyes glitter and he opens his mouth. Closes it. Turns away from me. “One day you’ll understand, Ezryn,” he mumbles. “You’ll understand what it means to shatter yourself for love.”
The edges of my vision are black with rage, my breathing ragged. But when Kel turns away, the rest of the world comes back to me.
There’s shouting. So much shouting. Rosalina is right under Farron’s nose, eyes blazing with anger. Farron stands still, brow furrowed, and fists clenched. Dayton paces beside the two of them.
“I don’t understand how you could make a deal with Caspian! Did you learn nothing from me? You know better!” Farron yells.
“That’s exactly it!” Rosalina screams back. “I know. I know, Farron. There is good in him. Trust me!”
Farron stalks away, throwing a dismissive hand in the air. “That’s what he does! He manipulates people. He offers them something, gains their trust, and then uses it against them. He did it to Kel. He did it to me. And he will do it to you.”