“You’re not going to punish me?” he asks hesitantly.
I try something I’ve never done with Kai. Lightheartedness. “I could send you to the Anelkrol Badlands, but I have a feeling even that wouldn’t keep you from our people.”
His gaze drifts over the cliffside, toward Keep Hammergarden in the distance. “I don’t understand.”
“I want us to return home. Together.”
“I … am absolved.” A strange sound emits from under his mask. I think it may be a laugh. “And you accept me as your steward?”
That makes me pause. Of course, I cannot allow Kairyn to keep his own imposed stewardship. I told him as much in the throne room. You will never be my steward. “No. Father will maintain the title of steward, and I shall remain in Florendel to rule. It’s what I should have been doing all these years.” I place my hand on Kairyn’s shoulder. He looks down at it, and his body goes rigid. I realize this is the first time I’ve touched him since his banishment. “Kairyn, you have shown your loyalty to Spring. Now, you must show your loyalty to me.”
34
Rosalina
Snowflakes melt on my heated skin, and a chill weaves through the loose fabric of my nightdress. I’m dreaming—I feel it in the way the edges of this place become like clouds of mist and I can’t quite make out the horizon through the window, only a wavering line of snow-capped mountains.
The white wolf is very clear. He’s curled in a ball next to a drab bed. Where are you, Kel? Slowly, I kneel to gently pet his ears. His fur is soft beneath my fingers as if he were right in front of me.
“Rosalina?” he asks, sharp blue eyes cracking open. His head tilts, the great snout pressing into me, sniffing. Something about my scent must have awakened him because he stands in a flurry. He gives a low, playful growl and knocks me to my back—and suddenly the floor feels very real beneath me.
A rough tongue drags from my collarbone to cheek, and I giggle at the sensation. The wolf stills at my laughter, and I realize he likely thought he was in this dream alone. Those blue eyes narrow.
“I’m really here. At least a part of me is.” I wrap my arms around his massive neck. There’s a strange rippling beneath my fingertips. Then a large and completely naked fae male hovers above me.
“It seems even in dreams you have power over me,” he growls. Then he scoops me up. “Though I’ll not have my mate suffer a cold floor.”
He takes us to the bed, which is comfier than it looks, with thick quilts and a soft mattress. Kel lies down with me atop of him, head on his chest.
“I know I shouldn’t be touching you,” I whisper, my fingers running along his soft chest hair. “Though if I move away, you’ll become a wolf again.”
“Perhaps I need not stay away from you in my dreams.”
My body thrills at this notion, this moment where he’s not pushing me away. I snuggle deeper. “I thought you’d return when you received our letter. Kel, the goblins wanted your sword.”
His arms tighten around me. “I wanted to return. But I knew you were safe.”
“How long until you come back?” He doesn’t reply, and a wave of anxiety washes over me. “How long?”
Keldarion is silent for a moment before he says, “I keep trying to do the right thing. But my choices always lead someone to suffering.”
I lay my palm flat on his chest. “Your heart will tell you the right thing to do.”
He rolls slightly, white, messy locks falling across his face. “I fear I lost ownership of that when a certain human wandered into my castle.”
How can I have your heart but not your love? I wonder. His gaze saddens. Did he hear me through the bond? “Half-human,” I say, smiling.
“Ahh, yes.” He caresses the sharp point of my ear.
The way he’s gazing at me, that look he gets … It’s almost reverent. I trail my fingers along his jaw to the dip in the middle of his chin.
“I want to help you with your choices, but I can’t with all the secrets you keep. Don’t you trust me?”
“I do, Rose.” He shakes his head. “But if you knew the things I have done in my past, you would not look at me the same.”
“You’ve seen my scars and never judged me. You said your heart is mine, so trust me with it.” Gently, I touch the bracelet of frozen thorns on his wrist. “Tell me about your bargain with Caspian.”
He stiffens, then sighs. “When I return, I will try to tell you, but—”
“All I ask is you try,” I whisper. And I see my own wrists as well. My own thorn bracelets with Caspian, two thin circlets. I’ll tell him of my bargain with the Prince of Thorns then, and afterward, explain it to the other princes.
The promise seems to relax us both, and he pulls me into his embrace until I’m wrapped up in the scent of pine.
“I wonder if you shall stay with me all night,” Kel says almost wistfully. I haven’t been able to lie with him like this since our time in the Autumn Realm, when we would all make a little nest outside Farron’s room.
“I hope so,” I whisper. “I feel better now.”
He stiffens. “Were you ill?”
“A slight fever before bed, and my stomach cramped a little.” A different kind of heat rises in me. Could these symptoms also be…
Kel’s large hand slides down my side before settling on my belly as he begins to rub soft circles over the silky fabric of my nightdress. I inhale and squeeze my legs together as an intense wave of heat envelopes me.
I feel the ripple of change in Kel’s body as he senses my immediate and all-consuming arousal.
“I think I know why our mating bond took me here, tonight of all nights.” The ache in my stomach tightens, and I resist the urge to grab his hand and shove it lower.
“Isn’t Farron there to help you with your needs?” Kel asks, a rough edge to his words.
“We made love earlier, but he went to Hammergarden’s library before bed. Most likely fell asleep there,” I say, voice heady. “This is different. The bond with him is satisfied. But—”
“I cannot satisfy you in the way a mate should.”
Is this what Farron and I read about, the wilde courtship? A jolt of satisfaction ripples through me at all the places my body touches Kel’s. “It’s the mating frenzy,” I try to explain, “due to the fact we haven’t completed our bond.”
He inhales sharply. “I will not chance anything with you, Rose. Even in this dream.”
I nod. “I need to wake up.” Pressing on his chest to rise, a throbbing courses through my body. My skin grows feverish and hot, the silky fabric of my nightdress rubbing teasingly against my aching breasts.
“Yes—” Kel cuts off. His eyes darken like dye swirling in water. Is this the wilde courtship taking him over as well?
Before I have time to question further, he pulls me down. His lips crash over mine, and I sigh at the contact. All the discomfort evaporates into delicious pleasure.
My legs spread on either side of his hips, and his hard length grinds against my already soaking panties.