After getting the necessary details from Sharon, I had snooped on Facebook. His profile picture was still him with a girl who I assumed was the ex, which either meant he wasn’t over her or he just wasn’t into social media. Neither seemed promising. He wouldn’t be named People’s Sexiest Man Alive anytime soon, but he wasn’t bad-looking. And I did trust Sharon.
So with some trepidation and a little bit of nervous excitement, I touched up my lipstick before climbing out of the Uber and walked into the restaurant.
Sharon, Josh, and Doctor Seth were inside already, but still waiting to be seated. Sharon ran over and hugged me.
“I’m sorry I’m late,” I said automatically.
“You’re not. I told you fifteen minutes earlier than our reservation time on purpose.”
I laughed. We may not hang out often anymore, but she still knew me. And that was enough to make me feel more at ease about meeting Doctor Seth. I kissed Josh on the cheek as a greeting and held out my hand to the cousin. “You must be Seth. It’s nice to meet you.” He nodded tensely and shook my hand, mumbling something incoherent that could have been “likewise” or could have been “I like guys,” before looking away. I was not, I realized, the only one who wasn’t totally feeling the matchmaker game.
Awesome, I thought. Either I’m not “doctor’s wife hot” or he’s not over his ex. Based on the Facebook picture, I could tell myself it was the latter. And at least I had Ubered to the restaurant, so I could drink.
Except Doctor Seth said he would just be having water when the waitress took our order, as he was on call. It looked like my martini would probably be an only child, unless he warmed up or was so boring that I decided to drink myself into oblivion.
“What kind of doctor are you?”
“Emergency.” He didn’t say anything else.
I glanced at Sharon. Had she already told him everything he needed to know about me or was conversation just not his strong suit? She nodded encouragingly and I sighed. “What hospital?”
“Sibley.”
I opened my mouth, “And what a delightful bedside manner you must have” on the tip of my tongue. Had this been a real date, I would have said it. I was comfortable enough with who I was to recognize that a guy was either going to like me, snarky warts and all, or he wasn’t. But I had seen zero evidence of a sense of humor or even a personality so far and I didn’t want to make waves with Sharon’s soon-to-be in-laws. So I bit my tongue and instead replied cheerily, “Oh, wow, I was just there last weekend.”
He seemed mildly more interested as he looked me up and down, scanning for injuries or illnesses. “For what?”
“Oh. Not for me. My friend’s dad had a heart attack and I went with him.”
A nod and he checked his phone. I was dull again. Our drinks arrived and I took a long sip, then gave up and turned to Sharon. “So what’s the latest with your mom?”
I didn’t want Sharon to feel bad, so I hadn’t told her about the phone call I received from her mother the week before, in which she ripped me apart for sending Sharon’s aunts’ shower invitations to the wrong aunts’ houses. I asked why they couldn’t just accept that it was a mistake and open each other’s, which was apparently a completely irrational and unacceptable answer on my part. As soon as I got off the phone, I set her ringtone to be Darth Vader’s theme music, then wrote a scathing blog post to make myself feel better.
Sharon rolled her eyes. “She’s extremely focused on flowers at the moment.”
“How lucky for that florist.”
She pursed her lips, amused. “That poor man. He has no idea what he’s in for.”
“Should I warn him?”
“Eh. He’s getting paid. He’ll be fine. And my mom can’t be the worst he’s dealt with.”
I sipped my drink to avoid laughing. Oh yes she can, I thought. “Did you pick a color scheme yet?”
“Tiffany blue and white,” she said, and I smiled broadly. Breakfast at Tiffany’s was Sharon’s favorite movie, book, poster, and Halloween costume when we were in college. And while her mother’s preference for black dresses would probably have been more fitting if she wanted to make that a theme, I loved that Sharon was happy with her choice.
“You could probably do some cool Tiffany’s-style favors. I saw some on Pinterest.”
“Since when do you use Pinterest?”
“I’m quite the expert on all things wedding these days.”
Sharon looked to Seth and Josh, who were now both scrolling on their phones. She cleared her throat. “Lily is in five weddings this summer, including ours.”
Josh read her tone and put his phone away. Seth looked up from his and saw Sharon raising her eyebrows at him. “Is that a lot?”
Sharon laughed, pleased she had gotten him to engage. “Men. Yes, that’s an insane amount. But it means Lily will be a pro when it’s time for her to get married.”
He looked back down at his phone and I cringed. Great. He’s going to think I’m trying to marry him. “Which hopefully won’t be for a very long time,” I added quickly. “I’ve had enough weddings for a while.”
“But not too long,” Sharon said. “I mean, you want kids and all.”
I stood up. “I’m going to go find the ladies’ room. Sharon, come with me.”
“I don’t—” I gave her a sharp look and she stood up. “We’ll be right back.”
I let her lead the way, as she had been to the restaurant before, but as soon as we were out of earshot, I grabbed her arm. “Dude, what are you trying to do to me here?”
“What do you mean?”
“Look, he’s attractive, I’ll give you that, but this guy is clearly not into it and you’re talking about me getting married? You’re making it sound like I’ve got a wedding dress on under my clothes and a tux in my purse that I’m ready to shove him into!”
Her face dropped. “I’m sorry. I hated his ex and he’s actually pretty funny when he’s not being all mopey. I just thought how great it would be for everyone if you two hit it off.”
I felt terrible. Her intentions were good, even if the guy was a dud. “When did they break up?”
“Last weekend.” I started to laugh. At least it wasn’t me that was the problem.
“What?”
“And how long were they together?”
“A couple years maybe?”
I put an arm around her. “I love you for trying. But Shar, he’s not over his ex yet. I could be a Victoria’s Secret model and he wouldn’t be into it.”
She shook her head. “No, I guess not,” she said sadly. “I just want you to be happy. And I didn’t want someone else to snap him up. He’s a really good guy, I promise.”
I smiled wryly. “So not my type at all, huh?”
She laughed, having lived through several of my terrible choices in men. “No, I guess not.”
“Let’s go back. He’s clearly not digging this, but maybe he’ll be over the ex by the rehearsal dinner and then we can say we got together at your wedding.” I linked arms with her as we worked our way back to the table. “Seriously, though, do you want me to send you some favor ideas?”
“I would love that.”
“Will Mama Meyer approve or will I have to talk her out of something else first?”
Sharon scrunched up her nose. “I owe you forever on that one.”
“Hey, I was proud. You actually stood up to her in the end.”
“I was proud of myself too. It didn’t occur to me that having you protest black was a bad plan.” She gestured to my outfit.
I laughed. “Can you picture my eventual wedding? It’ll look like a funeral but with better hors d’oeuvres.”
“It’ll happen, you know.”
“Yeah. I’m such a catch.” I flipped my hair.
Sharon stopped walking, stopping me with her. “You are, Lil. And when you realize that, other people will too.”
I couldn’t explain why, but I felt a lump in my throat. “Enough of that,” I said, swatting at her gently with the back of my hand. “Let’s go see if we can get Seth to answer a question with more than one word. It’ll be a fun game.”
I looked at my phone discreetly as we waited for the check. Seth had warmed up some, but not enough for me to tell if he actually had no personality or was just trying to give Mr. Darcy a run for his money at who could brood the most. But he hadn’t faked getting called into work, which I counted as a win because I was at least more interesting than an evening at home crying over his ex-girlfriend.