Fall of Ruin and Wrath (Awakening, #1)

“What is he to you? Your boss, who randomly gets far too friendly with you?”

“No, he’s my boss who pretends to be more than he is.” Probably wished he were, too— wished he felt more for me, that is.

“Still doesn’t make it okay.”

I nodded, scooping up the last piece of food, placing it on the plate as I rose. “But it’s not every day you have ni’meres swarming your gardens.”

Grady snorted. “Thank the gods.” He picked up a piece of bread. “I would’ve pissed myself if I had been out there, on the wall, and saw them coming.”

“No, you wouldn’t have.”

He pinned me with a stare, brows raised.

“Okay.” I laughed. “You would’ve done that and then fought them off.”

“No, I would have done that and then run, or pissed myself while running, which is the only sensible thing when faced with something like a ni’mere.”

Shaking my head, I picked up the last bit of food and dropped it on the plate Grady was holding. I started to rise when I noticed an angry, shiny reddish-brown patch of skin on Grady’s arm, just below his wrist. I reached for his hand, but caught myself. My gaze flew to his. “What happened to your arm?”

“What?” He glanced down. “Oh. It’s nothing. I was making a new blade and my hand slipped. Got too close to the heat.”

“Gods, Grady. That looks painful. Have you put anything on it?” Immediately, I started thinking of the different poultices that could be used. “I can— ”

“I already used the stuff you made last time. See?” He tilted his arm toward the light. “The sheen? It’s from the aloe stuff you made.”

“You need to use more than that.” I took the plate from him, placing it on the table. “And you should cover it when you’re outside, especially when you’re working in the shop.”

“Yes, Mother,” Grady replied dryly.

Eyeing his wound, I was reminded of something. “Have you talked to Claude about taking over for his blacksmith? Danil should be retiring soon, right? And with what happened to Jac . . .”

“I haven’t.” Grady turned away.

My eyes narrowed. “But you will, right?”

One shoulder lifted.

“I can ask him— ”

“Don’t do that.” Grady faced me.

“Why not?” I crossed my arms. “You’re good at that— ”

“I’m good at what I do now.”

“Yeah, but you actually enjoy working with iron and steel. It’s rare that someone is good at something they enjoy doing.” I watched him fiddle with the leather strap across his chest, holding one of the blades I knew he had crafted himself. “You need to ask Claude. He’s not going to tell you no.”

“I know. I will.” He was quiet for a moment. “You’re going to hate what I say next, but you should probably stay out of the gardens for a little while.”

“Yeah, probably.” I crossed the chamber, the gown snapping at my heels. I stared out the window, my thoughts drifting back to that odd feeling I had last night. That I should’ve stayed by his side.

It was still there, like a shadow in the back of my mind. That I should be out there.

With him.

Where I belonged.





CHAPTER 12


In the days that followed, things had calmed around the manor and within Archwood. There had been no more ni’mere attacks or word concerning the Iron Knights and the Westlands’ princess, nor had I found any more guards involved in the shadow-market trade.

Things were normal.

I spent time in the gardens and with Naomi, sat with Grady in the evenings. I joined Claude for his suppers and rode Iris through the meadows between the manor and the city, and I found pleasure in these things, like a good little lowborn.

But each night, I went into the gardens, and I tried to convince myself that it wasn’t because of him. That I wasn’t out there because I hoped to find the Hyhborn lord among the wisteria blossoms. That it had nothing to do with the odd feeling that haunted me as days turned into weeks.

Lord Thorne hadn’t returned, but that feeling I’d had the first time we met remained. I knew I would see him again.

Tonight I’d stayed in my quarters, not feeling up to socializing. I was in a weird mood; one I couldn’t quite decipher. Alone, I’d spent much of the evening watching the sōls drifting across the lawn and into the gardens while the hum of music from the lawn followed the warm breeze. I’d even gone to bed at an unreasonably early time, but I’d woken suddenly, sometime before midnight, heart racing. It was like waking from a nightmare, but I wasn’t even sure I’d been asleep long enough to dream.

That had been half an hour ago, and unable to fall back asleep, I returned to my chair, a book unopened in my lap as I watched the sōls. I revisited that odd feeling that remained, like I’d done so many times since I’d last seen Lord Thorne. I just couldn’t figure it out, and it preyed upon my mind. Why would I think I needed to remain by his side when the ni’meres arrived? Wasn’t like I would’ve been much help, unless screaming frightened them away.

Why did I feel like I . . . I no longer belonged where I was, more so than normal? I was beginning to think that was the source of my mood tonight—

A loud series of raps caused me to give a little jump. I twisted toward the door as I heard Grady call out, “Lis? You in there?”

“Coming.” I rose, tightening the sash on my robe. Worry sprang to life as I crossed the narrow space, opening the door. I could think of only two reasons Grady would come to my chambers at this time of night. Sometimes it was just to share the same bed when he was having trouble sleeping— a comfort born out of the years of doing so, and which helped, since neither of us slept all that well. The other reason was, well, potentially stressful.

Grady stood alone in the dimly lit hallway. “The Baron has summoned you.”

My shoulders tensed. “Hell,” I muttered, not wasting time changing into more suitable clothing. I stepped out into the hall and closed the door behind me as I glanced up at Grady. “Do you know why?”

“I don’t,” he answered. “All I do know is that he was in the solarium when Hymel came to get him. He left for about a half an hour, then came back and told me to retrieve you.”

I drew my lower lip between my teeth. The options were truly limitless when it came to Claude, but I seriously doubted he’d want me to take part in whatever celebrations were occurring at this hour.

Grady led me through the back halls of the manor, the ones traveled only by staff and those who didn’t want to risk the chance of running into anyone. We ended up at the small antechamber that sat behind the Great Chamber.

There were a few people in the antechamber, but my attention focused on Claude. I hadn’t seen him since his earlier temper tantrum, and I wondered if he too was thinking of that when our eyes met, because his cheeks flushed. I didn’t think it had anything to do with the blonde half sprawled in his lap. Her eyes were unfocused as Claude tapped her on the hip, urging her to rise. She half slid onto the empty portion of the settee, and I had a feeling she’d been enjoying the laudanum-laced wine that was often served for the Baron’s closest friends.

“How are you feeling, pet?” the Baron asked as I approached him.

Immediately, I caught the sickly sweet stench of Midnight Oil, and I had to stop myself from launching into a tirade. “Well. What is going on?”

“I’m not sure. We have unanticipated guests,” he shared as he guided me away from the settee, his steps sluggish. He kept his voice low as Grady approached us. “It is a member of the Royal Court that has requested shelter for him and three others for the evening.”

Every part of my being tensed. Members of the Royal Court were often chancellors. “That is uncommon.”

“My sentiments exactly.” We stepped back from those in the chamber. “He isn’t saying why he’s here, claiming that he’ll speak with me in the morning when . . .”