Faking Christmas



“Love? I’m not in love. You’re crazy. And if I ever did fall in love, it sure wouldn’t be with a vampire—even if he is rich beyond my wildest dreams, with gleaming white teeth and the most piercing blue eyes that send chills down my spine. Nope. Not me. You’ve got the wrong girl.”

Velda Stark - My Vampire Billionaire Baby’s Daddy





My new plan to treat Miles as though he had an infectious disease was quickly waylaid the next morning by a knock at my door. It was 8 am on Christmas Eve. I had hardly slept a wink the night before because my mind was too busy replaying the kisses—that should never have happened. The early morning hours did wonders for re-strengthening a person’s resolve. I quickly shimmied out of my unattractive flannel pajamas into a pair of black joggers and a sweatshirt before yanking open the door. To my surprise, I found not Miles, but a small basket filled with cereal, a blueberry muffin, a carton of milk, a pack of my favorite coffee blend, and an orange. Leaning against the house was a stack of freshly cut wood.

A note stuck out of the side of the basket. Glancing all around, knowing Miles was most likely watching me, I couldn’t help but pluck the note and read it.



Spanks,

I have to take all the kids in the lodge sledding at 10 this morning. I’d love for you to come with me if you’re interested. (i.e. You HAVE to say yes. It’s for the blackout). I’ll pick you up in a horse-powered sleigh at 9:45. Please dress like you will be going sledding and having fun.

Love,

Your man with the fine pair of hams (as you well know)





I yelled out to the snow-covered forest, “I don’t like sledding!”

The forest yelled back, “Everybody likes sledding!”

“I don’t like being cold!”

“I’ll take care of that!” This time, the forest voice had a flirtatious edge to it, which I didn’t appreciate. However, my traitorous heart still skipped a beat as I picked up the basket and retreated back into the cabin.

Then, I yanked the door back open and yelled, “Thank you!” I slammed the door before the forest could reply.

Once inside, I paced the floors, snacking on bites of cereal and the most delicious blueberry muffin as I tried to find a way to get out of going sledding. The last time I remembered going sledding, I was probably eleven or twelve. I was the youngest child, and we lived in the country. My sister had outgrown sledding, so I quickly followed suit. And I never really missed it much. I remember my gloves always soaking through, leaving my hands red and chapped. My coat never seemed warm enough. And deep down, I just wasn’t a thrill-seeker. Leave the cold and snow to the heroines in my books.

That being said…even if I wanted to go, I had no clothes to wear. The best I could do was my thermal underwear underneath my black joggers and a sweatshirt underneath my parka. But the joggers would get soaked through. Miles would take one look at me and hopefully have some pity.

Miles did take one look at me when I stepped out onto the porch at the sound of his snowmobile, but I didn’t find any pity. Immediately, he killed the engine, climbed off the machine, and moved toward me, a determined look on his face.

“You can’t wear that. You’ll freeze.”

I sighed, as though the news devastated me. “I know. I’m as bummed about it as you are.”

He gave me an annoyed look before opening my door and motioning me inside. “Don’t worry. I’ve got just the thing for you.”

The fake in my voice dropped immediately. “What?”

He grinned as he passed by me, striding toward the kitchen. “What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t take care of my woman?”

I stared after him. “The fake kind.”

He ignored me and walked past the kitchen and opened the door that led downstairs. “I’ll be right back.”

I paced the floor, sipping on my coffee, trying to achieve some sort of Zen with deep breaths and warm, caffeinated liquid gold warming my body from the inside. He returned all too soon up the creaky steps, holding a pair of tan, insulated coveralls hooked to suspenders.

My eyes widened as he held them out to me. “No, thank you.”

He motioned for me to take them again. “We had a deal, Oliviana.”

I never thought I liked my name. But the way he said it caused shivers to run chaotically down my spine. It was low and gravelly and made me instantly wish I went by Oliviana constantly.

“I don’t have the right clothes for this.”

“Hence me handing you these insulated coveralls.”

My fingers finally accepted the garment, and I held them up against my body.

“They’ll be a little big, but with the suspenders, they should work. I wore them in junior high.”

“Why do you keep your old clothes here still?”

“My parents still have some random things downstairs in storage.” He flicked his head toward the bedroom. “Go change. I’m on the clock. Gotta meet at the lodge in ten minutes.”

I made my way toward the doorway. “Don’t wait for me, then. I can just meet you there.”

“If you’re not out here in three minutes, I’m breaking the door down and carrying you over my shoulder, whether you’re dressed or not. And I would enjoy every second of that. Don’t think I won’t do it.”

And that was how I came to be sitting behind Miles on a snowmobile, my fingers white-knuckling the rails behind me as we flew across an open field. Apparently, I had dressed quickly enough for a detour on the way to the lodge. My body ached from being bumped and jostled, but I refused to cuddle up against Miles’s back. There had been more than enough unnecessary touching between us already. The last thing I would give him today was cuddles. I could hold onto the machine just fine, thank you very much, COWORKER.

My stomach dropped as I peered over his shoulder. We were flying toward a steep hill, bare of trees.

“Hey.” I pointed toward the right side of the hill, where the trail upward sloped more gradually. “That way is less steep.”

“What?” he called out, pressing on the gas.

“That way is less—" I yelped as we began our climb, the incline forcing me to cling desperately to the side before flinging forward to wrap my arms around Miles. His hand pressed against my hands grasping his waist. Instantly, he slowed and turned our machine around, driving around the base of the hill toward the gentler incline.

“Good thing you caved. That was close.”

I tried pulling my arms from his waist, but he held them firm against his body, my heart thumping wildly. “No way. I earned this.”

In retaliation, I squeezed him so tight he gasped before reaching behind to tickle me. I squealed and let out a giggle.

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